


April Showers of QAF Fix-Its

by shadowfax044



Series: Queer As Folk, as it should have been [1]
Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Gen, M/M, Writing Exercise, daily update, lots of mini 'fix-it's, what would have happened if the writers actually stayed true to their characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-03-20 20:30:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 39,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3663963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowfax044/pseuds/shadowfax044
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time I rewatch Queer as Folk, I notice parts (some minor, others not so much) that are incredibly inconsistent with the characterization throughout the show. As a writing exercise in forcing myself to get something written every day, I'm going to do one Fix-It each day of April. Each 500+ word mini-fic will be preceded by a note on why I feel that the particular scene(s) are inconsistent. I hope you enjoy reading!</p><p>P.S. It says I started posting on April 2nd, but it's before midnight here, so it counts :p</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. S1 E1: Emmett

**Author's Note:**

> If you've been following any of my other fics, you'll notice that I have a consistency problem of my own. One of the reasons is that RL gets busy, and then I'm out of the habit, and my in-progress stuff gets left alone too long. I'm trying to fix that issue. I thought forcing myself to write and post at least _something_ every day would help with that. (Fingers crossed.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For this first mini-fic, I'm addressing Emmett's behavior in the first episode of the series. I understood his character throughout the show as fairly careful about personal safety where clubbing/one night stands are concerned. _So why does he encourage Michael to invite into their apartment a man who followed their car home **after Michael specifically tells the guy that he isn't interested**_? Clearly this guy is a stalker type, and (as far as Emmett knows) could turn out to be dangerous. It never jived with me that Emmett would overlook this in his quest to get Michael laid. But the guy being there in Em and Michael's apartment when Brian calls is kind of important to the story, so... _this_ is the best fix I could come up with.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

Emmett watched as Michael's eyes were glued to Brian. The Stud of Liberty Avenue was, at that moment, pulling a ( _very_ toned and incredibly sexy) trick toward the backroom by his waistband. Michael, of course, characteristically grimaced in disappointment for the briefest moment before steeling himself, rolling his eyes, and saying, "I'll get Brian."

Once Michael was out of earshot, Emmett shook his head and moaned to Teddy, "God, Michael, you need to get over Brian. What is Michael _doing_? It's not _that_ late, even for a Thursday night. We could wait the fifteen minutes it would take him to finish. Seriously, he's going to get Brian _now_?"

"Well," Teddy said with a shrug, "the backroom is pretty much the only place that Michael will ever get to see Brian like that."

Emmett raised his eyebrow in disbelief.

Rolling his eyes, Teddy qualified, "I meant, it's the only time he's _guaranteed_ to see it. He may or may not get lucky enough to walk into the loft or a public restroom when Brian's _i_ _n flagrante_. If that's the only satisfaction Michael gets, and he's brave enough to go after it, I say let him."

Oblivious to Teddy's own hopeless crush, Emmett vigorously shook his head. "It'll do only two things:  make him continue to go after the tiny scraps he can manage to get from Brian, and set him further in his delusions. They've been friends for _fifteen years_ , and even Michael knows that he isn't subtle about his feelings. If Brian hasn't been able to return those feelings by now, he never will be. Simple as that."

"You don't think someone could take that long to figure out what they want?"

"Not if it was clear to them how the other person felt, no. The only way I could see that happening is if the idea of the two of them having a romantic relationship had actually never even occurred to Brian, but with the way Michael hangs onto him like a tick, there's no way. Brian just can't feel that way about Michael. Maybe he can't feel that way about _any_ one. It does happen, you know. Aromanticism is a thing."

Teddy shrugged. Brian's ability or lack thereof to fall for someone wasn't really of interest to him at that moment. What was more important.... "So how do we help Michael? Obviously just letting him be isn't working."

"He needs to _get laid_ ," Emmett insisted. "It's been _far_ too long. Maybe the secret to getting over Brian is getting under another stud."

Nearly choking on his drink with laughter, Teddy turned and set his glass down on the bar. Once he'd recovered, he asked, "And you're going to get him laid, then?"

"There's a very nice specimen that's been watching Michael for the past half hour. The one with the orange shirt half unbuttoned and the nice, tight jeans at your nine o'clock."

"Who, Caleb Milton?"

Emmett looked at Teddy, surprised. "He one of those A-gays you're always keeping track of?"

Teddy shook his head, "No, he owns that bookstore next to that porn place I like. He's a nice guy. Kinda like me—tries a bit too hard when it comes to guys. We've swapped rejection stories a few times."

With a little Honeycutt-typical jump and clap, Em exclaimed, "Teddy, that's perfect! We'll just tell him that Michael likes to play hard-to-get, but that he's noticed Caleb's attention and he's interested! It'll be a done deal! Come on, you can introduce me!"

* * *

Later that night (or, rather, in the wee hours of the next morning), after suggesting a video to his disappointed roommate, Emmett resolved to explain to Teddy the difference between _trying too hard_ and _misrepresentation_.


	2. S1 E6: Justin and Melanie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Justin first goes over to Mel and Lindsey's house, Justin shows Lindsey his drawings, and Brian turns up (just to spend time with his son, I'd like to point out :). When Lindsey shows off the sketch of Brian naked and asleep, Mel says something that always bothered me. (She does that often, just as a heads-up.) This is how I think Justin would have actually reacted. Assuming, of course, that he was told the story about Brian demanding the girls cancel Gus's circumcision; I think he would have been told, considering how much the boys like to gossip.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

"Look at _this_!" Lindsey exclaimed when she spotted the sketch of Brian, naked and asleep.

Justin felt his face flushing. "Oh, don't show him...."

But of course, Lindsey didn't listen. "Oh!"

When Brian saw the drawing, his first thought was that it was incredibly detailed. _Fuck_ , he thought, _this kid's talented_. But then he recognized the direction of his thoughts and shook his head at the blonde twink. "When did you draw that?"

"When you were asleep," Justin responded predictably. They looked at each other for a moment, and Justin could feel the tension....

Which Melanie immediately deflated.

"Ha! Circumcised. Just like I thought." Her tone was smug and derogatory.

Before Lindsey managed to change the subject and nip the argument in the bud, Justin jumped in with a scoff of his own.

"Yeah, because Brian totally had the power to object to his body being mutilated before he was a month old. _That_ makes perfect sense."

Lindsey, shocked at Justin's behavior when he had been the perfect, polite guest all afternoon, tried again to move the conversation away from such a sore subject. "There's an art show coming up at—"

But Justin refused to let this lie. "Brian's circumcision has nothing to do with whether he's willing for his son to be circumcised. I think it's great that Brian cares enough about Gus to think about what that choice would do to his son, rather than what the circumcision would mean to anybody else."

Melanie's face went stony at that, but in deference to Lindsey, she simply handed the baby over and left the room.

This time, when Lindsey tried to bring up the topic of the GLC's upcoming art showcase, Justin let her. Soon, they were animatedly talking about the possibility of showing some of his work there.

Brian was fairly quiet for the rest of the visit, which wasn't unusual. But Justin was pleased to notice that the brunet's eyes were on him more often than not.

* * *

That night, after several hours of quiet contemplation, Melanie finally went to Lindsey and brought up what Justin had said.

"Do you think that I was more worried about myself and my family, rather than Gus?"

It took a few moments, but Lindsey finally said, "I think there are some things we do without thinking, because they're so routine. I know you would never do anything if you thought it would hurt Gus."

"But I could have let something happen that might have hurt him," she said, feeling defeated, "just because I didn't even think about the alternative."

"No one is perfect, Mel," Lindsey said softly. "Every parent is going to fuck up. Often, even. The idea is to learn from our mistakes and not repeat them." She sighed a bit. "I think what we need to remember is that we shouldn't make any of these kinds of permanent life decisions for Gus. He should be able to choose the important things for himself, when he's old enough."

Melanie certainly wasn't happy about the interrupted bris, but she also could identify with wanting to be allowed to make your own life decisions. She felt conflicted about her role in the whole argument, now that she realized that the circumcision ceremony was a religious ritual, and having an infant—who could not give his consent as he was not old enough to do so—participate in that ritual meant she was forcing her religion on him.

It wasn't really that different from people who thought she should do "conversion therapy" to rid her of her "homosexual tendencies," she thought. Those people didn't care about _her_ happiness; what mattered to them was _their_ religion, or _their_ values, or _their_ happy hetero bubbles remaining unburst.

She had a lot of thinking to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My intent was not to insult anyone's religious beliefs or practices. I myself am not a fan of circumcision for either males or females, for precisely the reasons Melanie thinks of in this chapter: the child is incapable of consenting to or preventing what is being done to their own body, and it's a permanent change that has far-reaching effects, both physical and emotional. But mostly the point of this fix-it is letting Justin have his voice. Because he's always been one to speak his mind, and the several times that he keeps quiet just don't feel like they're consistent with his character. (And sometimes I just really want him to put some of the other characters in their places.)


	3. S1 E7: Emmett and Brian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael is just starting to realize that he and David might actually be (gasp!) boyfriends, or at least well on the way to that. He's getting ready to take David to his mom's for dinner when Brian shows up. There's a moment where the look on Emmett's face says he has something to say to Brian about his behavior, but there isn't any more of the scene once the fledgling couple leaves. So I wanted to flesh this out and get some Brian and Emmett time, partly because I think this episode could use it, and partly because I love their dynamic, and we don't get to see it that often without anyone else in the scene.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T, again.

Michael, angry at Brian for barging in, pretending to forget about Michael's 'big date' with David, and eating one of the eclairs he'd bought for dessert, strode up to his and Emmett's kitchen table and snapped the bakery box closed. "Look, I know you don't like him, but—"

"Who said I don't like him?" Brian interrupted. "And why do you give a fuck what I think?"

Emmett, really upset with Brian's recent attitude, piped up. "I've been saying that for years."

Brian ignored him. "What matters is what you think. If you like him, that's all that's important."

For a moment, Em was actually happily surprised by Brian's maturity.

And then he opened his mouth again.

"Even though he _is_ quite a bit older than you," he went on, smirking in Emmett's direction, "and lives in a world you know nothing about."

With an incredulous smile spreading across his face, Em looked at Brian and said, "Look who's talking!"

Before Brian could ask what the hell Emmett meant, Michael took control of the conversation, and the topic veered off until David showed up a minute later.

* * *

"Have fun you two," Brian drawled, obviously wishing for just the opposite. David closed the door behind himself and Michael, and a moment later, Emmett leaned in the kitchen doorway and examined his friend.

"Take a picture, Honeycutt, it'll last longer."

"You're such a hypocrite, Brian."

Brian looked up, giving Emmett a confused look. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"'He's quite a bit older than you and lives in a world you know nothing about'? Sound at all familiar, Mister Cougar?"

Brian's mouth dropped open in protest. "I am not _dating_ that twink!"

Emmett just raised an eyebrow at him.

"Fuck you, Honeycutt, I'm a free agent. Always have been, always will be."

Shrugging and moving to a seat across from Brian, Emmett said, "There are lots of people who freely choose to be in relationships. Because they _want_ to, not because they feel they have to, or because it would make their lives easier."

"Well," Brian answered with a tight smile, "that's definitely not me."

"Your whatever-you-want-to-call-it with Justin aside... what the hell is your problem with Michael dating someone?"

Brian didn't usually talk very candidly about his thoughts and feelings, not on personal matters, but he figured that if he was going to say this to anyone, Em would be the one to talk to. He was the only member of their group who had ever managed a successful 'relationship' that lasted more than a month or three. And _Brian_ certainly didn't have any experience in this department.

"I think it's great that Mikey's dating. I just don't think it's great that he's dating David Cameron."

Emmett prided himself on knowing his friends very well, and he could tell that Brian was being unusually serious about this. "Why do you have such a problem with David?"

"You'd probably call it a 'vibe' or some shit like that. I just don't think he's a guy that can appreciate who Mikey is. I get the impression that he's more the type to want to make Mikey into who David wants his partner to be." Brian shrugged. "I could be wrong. But I doubt it."

"Well, we'll just have to play things by ear. Make sure we're here for Michael, no matter what happens." Sighing, Emmett added, "I can appreciate that you're worried about your best friend, Brian. I just hope your first impressions of the doctor don't color Michael's opinion too much. Whatever the case, he needs to figure this stuff out for himself."

Brian raised an eyebrow. "Why do you think I haven't said this to _him_?"


	4. S1 E10: Brian and Ted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way to NYC to bring Justin home, Brian and Michael share a marijuana cigarette while Emmett and Ted are changing the tire. Brian assures Michael that he loves him and gives Michael a kiss—which Michael immediately makes much more passionate than their usual peck on the lips. Just when they break apart, Emmett announces that they can get back on the road. Em and Teddy seem to be upset in that moment, so I've always assumed that they caught the kiss and are mad at Brian about it. This is the conversation I wish would happen after that scene.
> 
> Rating for the chapter is T.

"I don't know how I could have made it without you," Brian told Michael. It wasn't something he'd usually say—it sounded far too _lesbianic_ for his tastes—but it felt like he was losing Michael. What the fuck else was he supposed to do?

And then he pulled Michael in for a kiss. That wasn't unusual—but it  _was_ unusual that Michael turned it into one with a lot of tongue, something Brian was always careful to steer clear of.

Emmett cleared his throat. "Alright, ladies. We're ready to roll."

* * *

Half an hour later, Emmett and Michael were passed out in their seats, the occasional quiet snores echoing through the Jeep. Ted managed to keep quiet for a while, but eventually he decided to confront the issue.

"So what the hell was that about earlier?"

 _Really_ , Brian thought, _can I not have some fucking peace once in a while?_ He collected his temper as well as he could under all his current stress before responding. "What the hell was _what_ , Theodore?"

"Why did you kiss Michael like that?"

"I _didn't_ ," Brian insisted, though quietly. "Why does everyone always assume that it's me? I went to give him a kiss, like we do, a _close-mouthed_ peck on the lips. He's the one who opened his mouth and attacked me. What was I supposed to do?!"

Ted was surprised for a moment, but then he realized that it really wasn't that surprising at all. "You could have broken the kiss off sooner. Or asked him what the hell he was doing, since he's thinking about moving in with his boyfriend."

Brian laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, with all the time between the kiss ending and you two butting in, right?"

Wincing, Ted tilted his head in acknowledgment. "Alright, point taken. But you still could have stopped it.... So why didn't you?"

He'd never been good with this shit, and he certainly wasn't going to talk about this with Ted, of all people. Instead, he danced around the question. "Got to keep the Doc on his toes, right?"

Ted sighed. Emmett had told him about Brian's worries about David. Was that what this was about? Brian was worried about Michael but didn't think he should address it head-on, so he was letting Michael come to him instead, hoping it would drive him and David apart?

Well, fuck that.

"Why don't you just talk to Michael, and tell him the truth?"

"Mikey's a big boy, Theodore," Brian answered softly. "He's got to make his own choices."

"But... he's going to choose something that gets him hurt."

"It's _life_ , Schmidt. That's gonna happen anyway."

Even though they'd known each other for years, sometimes it still surprised Ted how pessimistic Brian could be.

They had more in common than the Stud of Liberty Avenue would admit to.

Finally, after a long silence, Ted said his last for the night: "You know, if you don't tell him that he's only ever going to be like a brother to you... he's going to keep waiting for you. He's going to keep hoping that one day you'll decide that he's the love of your life. He'll keep dreaming and fantasizing about you fucking him. He'll always be hoping for the day that you'll give up fucking every male on two legs for _him_. Michael's convinced himself that the reason you've never actually told him _no_ is because you just haven't been ready." Ted sighed. "You're going to have to grow some balls and tell him, Brian, before it ruins your friendship permanently."

The problem was, Brian was convinced that the outcome would be the same no matter  _when_ Michael discovered the truth.

And honestly, he'd rather keep quiet so that their friendship lasted as long as fucking possible, because he wasn't sure he could survive its end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer today. I couldn't figure out a scene I wanted to fix! I watched a few episodes today, and there were a bunch of parts where I really wanted to jump into the QAF universe and set Melanie, Lindsey, or David straight. But as much as I hate those scenes, they were totally in-character, and there was no one there to put them in their place, so I had to keep looking. And then I noticed the sour looks that Emmett and Ted give Brian and Michael and knew I had to flesh that part out.
> 
> But then Ted wouldn't cooperate, and it took longer than I wanted to get this down. I'm still not totally happy with it, so I'd love any suggestions for improvement. (On any chapters, of course, but this one especially.)


	5. S1 E11: Brian and Justin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never understood why Justin didn't jump in during Michael's birthday party. David _hits_ Brian, and Justin just stands there?! That's _**so**_ not like him. And then we don't get to see what happens between them after the party is over. So now I've remedied that. XD
> 
> Rating for this chapter is E (or possibly M. I'm never entirely sure what the difference is).

Brian pulled Tracy over to the dance floor. "David, this is Tracy. Tracy, this is David."

"Right, Tracy. We've met."

Justin, who had been watching from behind the bar, moved closer. Something told him this wasn't going to be pretty.

"Right! You're Mike's chiropractor," Tracy said with a smile, shaking David's hand.

With a look in Michael's direction to make sure that he was watching, Brian put his arm around David. Turning back to Tracy, he said, "He's also his _boyfriend_." He let that sink in for a moment before clarifying, "Oh, excuse me. _Ex_ -boyfriend."

Tracy's facial expression clearly said that she thought Brian was joking, so the brunet decided to put things into perspective for her. "The first time they fucked, Michael came like... three times."

David pulled a (hideous, in Justin's opinion) face and decked Brian right in the side of his face, far too close to the man's eye for Justin's peace of mind. He hurried over, smoothing a hand over Brian's back. "You alright?" he asked quietly, trying not to embarrass Brian but still worried about him.

"Yeah," he murmured back, "I'm fine."

Justin left a quick kiss on Brian's cheek before advancing on David. "Get the fuck out."

"Ex _cuse_ me?" David gave him an incredulous look.

"You heard me," Justin said, firm and cold. "I don't care how upset with Brian you are, you don't attack someone in their own home. _Especially_ not when they're trying to fucking help you, you dickwad." Justin moved into David's personal space and glared at him with more hatred than he'd ever felt for anyone at that point in his life. " _Leave_."

Tracy had already fled the loft, and the whole gang—Brian, Michael, the girls, Debbie, Vic, Emmett, and Ted—had been listening to Justin berating David. For a moment, the young man was embarrassed about his treatment of Brian's guest, but then he remembered how Brian had seemed off—nervous and upset and more withdrawn than usual—all day. He realized that Brian had known what the outcome of this would be, even if he thought this whole scenario had been necessary.

No one was going to hurt his man, damn it.

David straightened his shirt, looked at Michael, and said, "You ready to go?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely."

Justin stopped Michael before he could leave. "Don't forget this." He held out the Captain Astro comic, but Michael refused to take it.

The more of their 'family' that stopped to piss on Brian before leaving, the more Justin hurt and fumed. When they were gone, Justin approached Brian, hoping to comfort him somehow.

Of course, the fucker opened his mouth first.

"Well? Aren't you going to make you're big exit, too?"

"No," Justin assured him softly, giving him a disappointed look at Brian's lack of faith in him. He sighed. "You're going to need someone to help you clean up this mess." Giving Brian a pointed look, he moved away, starting to usher out the other party goers.

As Brian watched Justin clearing out his loft, he realized that Justin truly meant it—he wanted to help.

* * *

When the last guest left, Brian was sitting on the sofa, a half-drunk bottle of Jim Beam in his hand, his gaze resting somewhere in the middle distance. Justin quietly took a seat next to him, moving his hand in comforting circles on Brian's back.

The quiet was eventually broken by Justin. "You couldn't just tell him?"

Brian turned to look at the blonde twink sitting next to him. "Tell who what?"

"That you love him, but not how he wants you to." When Brian only raised an eyebrow at him, Justin huffed. "Come on, Brian. You guys might not talk directly to me about this kind of stuff, but I _do_ have ears. I know that Tracy is the one from Michael's work who is interested in him. There's no way he can reciprocate her feelings. Just like you can't reciprocate Michael's.

"But he's not the metaphorical type, Brian. He's just going to wonder why you'd do something like that to him. He won't get what you were trying to tell him."

Justin let Brian digest that for a while, never stopping his soothing motions on Brian's back and shoulders.

Some time later, Brian said, "If I told him, I'd lose him."

"Brian... I think you just lost him anyway."

"Fuck Debbie for asking me to do this."

 _That_ was news to Justin. "What did she say, exactly?"

Brian shrugged. "That I owed it to Mikey to let him go."

Justin rolled his eyes and sighed. "You didn't 'let him go,' Brian, you pushed him away. Letting him go would have been telling him that he's your best friend, an important part of your life, but not in the way he's always wanted to be. What you did, that wasn't giving him a choice about whether to stay or go. You made the choice for him."

If Brian hadn't been drunk, he knew he wouldn't have done what he did next: pull his feet up onto the couch and curl himself over his knees, hiding his face and his tears from Justin's eyes.

Sensing that he just needed comfort, Justin put one hand in Brian's hair and draped himself over Brian's back, giving him as much contact as possible.

Finally, Brian stopped shaking and spoke. "So what do I do?"

"You need to let Michael know the truth. And then you tell him that you still want to be his best friend. He'll have to decide if he can be friends with you without constantly hoping for more."

It was quiet for a while. Then, knowing that there was no way he could actually _talk_ to Mikey about this (at least not yet), Brian asked plaintively, "How?"

"I don't know," Justin murmured back, understanding what Brian was asking him. "But I'll do whatever I can to help." He huffed out a breath through his nose. "Unlike the rest of the gang, apparently. Brian, they had no right to treat you that way, or speak to you like they did. As if they never fucked up! As if they always have all the answers!"

Brian, stunned at how easily Justin both scolded and defended him, turned to look at this boy who had come into his life and refused to leave. This boy who could see Brian's mistakes without forgetting about the things he did right. This almost-man who was strong and brave and outspoken, who outdid Brian in so many things and matched him in all others. This young man who was so passionate and arousing, who met and then surpassed all of Brian's expectations in a sex partner, who was somehow enticing enough that Brian, the Stud of Liberty Avenue, who had never had anyone more than once, was constantly coming back for more.

Between one moment and the next, Brian went from stressed and hurt and lonely to passionate and single-minded.

He had to have Justin, _right the fuck now._

Justin let out an _oomph_ when Brian pulled their mouths together. The young man had hoped that the alcohol, drugs, and shock would be enough to get Brian to open up verbally tonight. But then Brian's tongue was petting his own, and Justin decided that this would do.

Before long, Brian had Justin spread out beneath him on the bed, naked and aroused. The condom went on, Justin was lubed and loosened up, and then Brian was driving into him in one long, smooth stroke.

They lay together for a moment, both adjusting. Brian put his hand in Justin's hair and moved his mouth to the blond's ear. "Thank you," he breathed more than whispered.

After their first coupling, which was fast and hard and more about stress relief than anything else, Brian moved to his back, put on a fresh condom, and told Justin to ride him. And Justin did, slowly and sensually, drawing out their pleasure for as long as he could stand to wait.

When they were done, Justin curled up to Brian's body in the bed, and whispered, "You're welcome."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am _**so**_ happy with how this chapter turned out! I hope you enjoyed it, too! :)


	6. S1 E11: Justin and Debbie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin must have heard Brian and Debbie's conversation the morning after Michael's party. Therefore, he would be pissed off at Debbie for the way she treated Brian. Here's how he handles it.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

Justin listened to Debbie and Brian's conversation from the bathroom. For a while, it seemed to be going well. Debbie had a right to be angry about the way that Brian handled the situation—the next time Brian called Justin a drama queen, he'd tell the man to look in a mirror—but then she pulled the shit she usually did where Michael was concerned.

"This David... he's good for him."

 _The fuck he is_ , both Brian and Justin thought.

"Yeah, they won't last," Brian said quietly. Justin silently cheered him on.

"Maybe not," Debbie allowed, sounding a little sad at the idea. "But he should at least give it a try."

Not wanting to discuss the doctor any further, Brian asked sharply, "So, how's he doing?"

Justin could not _believe_ the smile he heard in Deb's voice as she answered, "Trying to figure out why his best friend would betray him.

"Of course, he doesn't realize that it's the _best thing_ that could ever happen."

 _Ex **cuse** **me?!**_ Justin very nearly stormed out into the kitchen right then and there, but he decided to let Brian handle this in his own way.

"That you did him a favor."

 _Oh, god,_ Justin thought, his eyes closed in pain. _How can Debbie not know how much she's hurting him right now?_

"That maybe now he can finally have a chance to have a life."

 _Alright, I can't listen to this shit another second. And Brian shouldn't have to, either._ Justin walked out of the bathroom and interrupted the clusterfuck going on in Brian's kitchen. "Okay. I'm ready to go."

As Justin picked up the box of Michael's birthday presents and forced himself not to throw them across the loft, Debbie moved closer to Brian. "You take care, Kiddo."

Deb gave Brian a hug and kissed his cheek, whispered, "Thank you," and then left the loft.

Justin shook his head, walked up to Brian, and (not carefully) set down the box. Taking Brian into his arms, he whispered, "She's a fucking idiot. You aren't responsible for Michael. He needs to grow up, but no one can make him do that. That'd be the opposite of growing up." Moving back enough to look in Brian's eyes, Justin added softly, "I'll see you tonight." Then, with a kiss of his own, Justin left the loft, box of birthday garbage in tow.

* * *

After two hours of their shared shift at the diner, Debbie had had enough. Justin had been in a piss-poor mood all morning, and he'd yet to say anything to her other than "yeah" or "okay." She knew the whole family was upset over Brian's actions at the party the night before, but that was no reason to take it out on _her_.

"Sunshine, your attitude today is really getting my tits in a knot."

Justin, who was carrying a tray of silverware, dropped it heavily onto the counter. " _My_ attitude? That's rich, coming from _you_."

After a moment of shocked silence, Deb put her hands on her hips and half-screeched, " _Justin_!"

"Don't you ' _Justin_ ' me, Debbie." He came closer to her and lowered his voice. His tone was hurt as he asked her, "How could you talk to Brian that way? Don't you realize how much you hurt him this morning?"

Her mouth dropped open in surprise. "Me hurt _him_?"

"Yes, _you_." Justin sighed in aggravation and shook his head. "You were the one who told him that it was his responsibility to make Michael grow up and go back to David. And it _wasn't_ his responsibility, by the way. How is Michael supposed to start living his own life if everyone else is making his decisions for him?"

Justin took a deep breath, trying to even out his tone of voice. "So, you asked him to fix it. And then he does what you asked in the stupidest, most immature and hurtful way possible, making his best friend hate him, and you tell Brian that he did Michael a _favor_? That the best thing that could happen to Michael is for Brian to no longer be in his life?" Justin was practically shouting now, uncaring of who else was in the diner at that moment. "You're his mother in every way but biological, Deb, and you just told Brian that you're happy that Michael won't be around him anymore. You walked out of his life this morning. You, Michael, and Vic are the only real family he has, and you pushed him away."

Pulling off his apron, Justin snarled, "I'm going on break."

And he walked out.

* * *

Debbie felt like shit.

Was that really what she had done this morning when she'd confronted Brian? If that was how it came out... well, that certainly hadn't been her intention.

But she could see, now that Justin had pointed it out, that that was exactly what she'd managed to do. And she knew she had to do something to make it up to Brian. He was like a son to her, even though she didn't often agree with how he lived his life or how he influenced Michael. The point was, even when she was upset with him, he was still like her own child, and she had hurt him.

Deb liked to think that she knew Brian pretty well after all of these years (though she didn't know him near as well as she believed). As such, she was sure that an apology wouldn't go over well. Instead, she popped over to the loft on Sunday afternoon to bring Brian a lasagna.

When Brian opened the door, she held out the dish and said, "I realize that you and Michael need some time to cool down before you see each other again and try to fix things. Which means you won't be around tonight for dinner. And I know you eat out too much, so I've brought dinner to you, instead."

For a moment, all Brian did was stare down at the proffered meal. Eventually, he slowly took the dish from her.

"Man cannot live on carbs alone."

Deb smiled. "So go to the grocery store for once and make yourself a salad, asshole."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincerest apologies for getting behind. I won't go into details, but a family friend passed away. In order to attend the funeral, I had to go somewhere that, for the sake of my emotional health, I was really hoping never to have to set foot again, so I didn't really feel up to writing. But it went better than I expected, and I'm hoping to get caught up by sometime tomorrow.


	7. S1 E15: Justin and Melanie, Brian and Lindsey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are several things that bother me about the scene at the loft when Brian comes home from the Leather Ball:
> 
> 1) Justin is the one that's full of random information; not to mention, he has a sibling that is quite a bit younger than him. Ergo, there is no way that he doesn't know to test the temperature of a bottle before giving it to a baby.
> 
> 2) Brian had legitimate reasons for needing a night out, and Justin knows this. So why wouldn't Justin stand up to Melanie over this issue, especially when Brian is too drunk and confused and depressed to defend himself?
> 
> Here's my fix. Rating for this chapter is T.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for overly-snarky Justin in this chapter. I figure he'd be pretty stressed after a couple of hours alone with Gus, knowing what's going on with Brian. His temper was already running short before Mel showed up, and he kinda snaps.

Brian walked into the loft to see Melanie holding Gus and Justin looking... angry? Annoyed? Brian couldn’t be sure, but from the look on Mel’s face, she was about to enlighten him as to what was going on.

Sure enough, no sooner had Brian stepped into the kitchen than Mel had started in on him. “He was going to give the baby hot milk. He didn’t test it on his arm.”

“I didn’t know—” Justin started, but he was cut off.

“Thank God I walked in when I did, Gus could’ve been scalded.”

Brian wasn’t totally with it—he’d had more Beam than would allow his thoughts to be perfectly clear—but he thought he detected... _sarcasm_ in Justin’s voice when he said, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—”

But all Brian wanted to know was “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Melanie gave him a reproving look. “I came back from Miami early, and there’s a message on my voicemail from Lindsey saying that she left Gus here with you. So I came by to check on him, and it’s a good goddamn thing I did. Pawning him off on _anyone_ so you can go to a _fucking_ Leather Ball...?”

“Hey,” Brian said, trying his damnedest not to slur, “Justin’s not _any_ one.”

Gleefully filing away _that_ little piece of honesty for later examination, Justin tried again to get Mel to listen to him. “I love Gus—”

But Mel still didn’t want to listen to a thing he had to say. “Baby, I know you do, honey. This isn’t about you. You take him.” She handed Gus over to Justin and went back to laying into Brian. “This is about _you_ , and what an irresponsible shit you are.”

“Listen,” Brian said, trying to defend himself through the alcohol, “I went out for a couple of hours.”

“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t have been out at all, because, you see, the thing about parenthood is, you don’t get anonymous sex breaks twice a day. Now give me your car keys.”

Brian scoffed. “Excuse me?”

“I said _give me your car keys_ , so I can go get the baby seat out of the back of your Jeep. I’m taking Gus home.”

“No, you’re not. _This_ is his home. At least for this weekend.” Brian started to walk away, the discussion over as far as he was concerned.

But apparently, Mel didn’t agree. “Sorry. Your privileges have been revoked.” And she picked Gus up again from Justin.

“Don’t fucking tell me what my privileges are! I’m his father!” He paused for a moment, then added, “Who are you?”

Mel kissed Gus’s forehead and said, “I may be no one, but at least I love him enough to know that _his_ needs come before mine. Which is more than can be said for _you_.”

Justin had finally had _enough_. He took Gus from Melanie, walked up to Brian, and said, “Go put him in the bedroom.”

Mel sputtered a little. “Justin, what the hell?”

“ _Brian_ ,” Justin emphasized pointedly, “go put Gus in the bedroom, because I’m about to yell, and I don’t want Gus to get scared.” With a soft look, Justin met Brian’s eyes, assuring him silently that they were on the same side. Once Brian had taken Gus as requested and put him down in the crib that Lindsey had brought over for the weekend, he walked back to the kitchen to see Justin quietly gathering himself.

Finally, Justin turned around to Mel and said, in a deadly calm voice, “Alright, now you’re actually going to _listen_ this time instead of cutting me off again.

“You came in when I had just finished changing Gus’s diaper. You didn’t even give me a chance, to see if I was going to check the temperature of his milk, before you started freaking out on me. My sister is almost ten years younger than me, Melanie, I fucking _know_ how to take care of a baby! When Brian cut me off before, what I was going to say was, ‘ _I’m so sorry that my timing sucks and that you know me so well that you actually think I’d put Gus in danger_.’”

Justin’s voice was increasing in volume now, along with his agitation. “You called Brian an irresponsible shit, but do you have any idea what _shit_ has been happening to him this weekend? _No_ , you _don’t_ , because... why is that?” he asked sarcastically. “ _Oh_ , _that_ ’s right, because _you weren’t here_! And, yet, Gus _is_ here, which means... yeah, Mel, _you_ put ‘your needs’ before Gus’s, by your definition.

“Well, I have news for you, you self-righteous little shit!” Justin was practically spitting with anger now. “Just because you have a different reason for leaving Gus with someone else does _not_ mean that your reasons are any _better_ than anyone else’s! So what if Brian needed a couple hours to himself tonight? It’s not like he had advance notice that you and Lindsey were going to need him to watch Gus this weekend! And he shouldn’t have to justify his needs to anyone else, but I can vouch for the fact that he had good reason to want to be alone tonight. I’d say his leaving Gus with me was the most responsible thing he could have done, under the circumstances.

“So stop acting like you’re the paragon of parenthood, that you have any right to judge Brian’s actions. Get your ass out of Brian’s apartment, and fucking leave him the _hell_ alone!”

And with that, Justin retreated to the bedroom. When he’d picked Gus up from the crib, he cradled the little boy to him and cooed softly, hoping to dispel any anxiety or unease the baby might be feeling.

A few moments later, the loft door slid open and then slammed closed.

Ten minutes later, Brian brought the now-appropriately-warm bottle to the bedroom, took Gus from Justin, and fed him calmly. Justin smiled to see father and son both fall asleep after burping, both boys utterly exhausted.

* * *

“You gave me your word. You _swore_ I could trust you with him!” Lindsey accused him.

Brian had felt so... vindicated when Justin had stood up to Melanie two nights ago. He’d thought that the twink’s words had actually had an effect on the bull dyke, considering she’d left without another argument. Apparently that hadn’t entirely been the case.

“Look, your ex already reamed me out,” Brian said, trying to divert her from the topic. He’d had a shit day at work, he still felt guilty about leaving Gus to go drown out his problems in tricks and alcohol, and he couldn’t stop thinking about his asshole of a father’s reaction to his confession the night before. He didn’t want to have a fight with Lindsey on top of everything else, but he doubted he’d be able to avoid it.

They’d been friends for a long time; he knew that Lindsey was pretty predictable when it came to which side she’d choose in an argument. Whoever or whatever had the least support would have hers. Sometimes, that meant she’d champion the righteous underdog, but more often than not, she was defending someone who didn’t deserve it.

Brian should know: it had been him often enough.

As Brian had expected, she was determined to have it out. “Well now it’s my turn. You said you wanted to be his parent—if that’s true, then fucking well be one, but don’t tell me you’ll be there for him when you’re not! ...When you’ve never been there for anyone else, other than yourself.”

Brian spun to face her. Voice deadly calm, he said, "That's fucking bullshit, Lindsey, and you know it."

Lindsey's eyes widened. It wasn't often that Brian challenged her like that. She was still trying to think of something to say in response when Jack walked in and threw the whole conversation out of her mind.

But later, when she got home, she'd remember that she'd accused Brian of never caring about anyone else and that, for once, he'd stood up for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had all except the last three paragraphs of this chapter written for a while, actually. It's part of an AU story that I started to write a long time ago but never finished. If you guys like this chapter, I might finish that work and post it (if I get all my other WIPs done first...).


	8. S1 E17: Justin and Brian, Brian and Lindsey and Melanie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin changing his tune about Brian's parental rights is completely illogical. And because he wouldn't encourage Brian to give up his rights, Brian wouldn't end up going through with it, in my opinion. Here's how I'd fix it.

"Brian?"

Justin was a little concerned about the man. Brian had picked him up from school that day, which was unusual to begin with. But then they'd gone back to the loft, Brian had fucked his brains out, and then the brunet had silently headed to the couch and started brooding.

"Brian, what happened?" Justin sat next to him on the couch and kissed the side of his head. "Talk to me."

Brian was quiet for a little while longer. Eventually, he took a deep breath and explained about running into Gui on his lunch hour. After another moment of silence, he murmured, "He said he wants to adopt Gus after he and Lindsey get married."

Eyes wide, Justin demanded, "What? What the hell is Lindsey thinking?"

"Damned if I know."

"This whole thing is _bullshit_!"

Sighing and nodding, Brian asked, "But how the fuck do I fix it? If I refuse to let him adopt Gus and the government ends up investigating their marriage, the Frog will get sent back to France, but Lindsey will go to jail."

"To be fair," Justin said, an eyebrow raised, "she _is_ breaking the law. And she knows she is."

Brian shook his head. "And it would server her right, for being so fucking stupid." Quietly, Brian added, "But I can't let that happen to Gus. Because then he'd have to live with me." He grabbed the bottle of Jim Beam on his coffee table and took a long swig. "And no one is surprised to find that I'm a shitty father, considering the example I had. I won't fuck Gus up even more than I might have already."

"That's bullshit, Brian," Justin said firmly, though not unkindly. "You're _not_ a shitty father. You love Gus. And you certainly haven't done anything to fuck him up. In fact, you've done more for him already than either of our fathers did for us as infants—you refused to let his body be altered without his consent. You've financially supported him, and you've spent as much time with him as any parent that doesn't live with an infant would be expected to. I'd say you're doing a fucking fabulous job."

"Still doesn't mean I have any choice other than to give up my rights to Lindsey's newest pet project."

Justin thought for a while, trying to find a solution that didn't involve Brian having to give up his rights to his son.

Finally, Justin said, "There _is_ a way you could keep your rights and still get through to Lindsey. I'm not sure if you'll like it, though."

Eyebrow cocked, Brian asked, "What's that?"

"Well, you should start by reminding her that you have legal claim to Gus, and therefore have to be involved in decisions that will affect him. And even though the law doesn't currently have to recognize Melanie as a parent, emotionally that's exactly what she is. Lindsey has a moral and ethical obligation to include Mel in decisions about Gus, too.

"You told me that the both of them blame themselves for the break-up. They obviously love each other, they just need a push to get their asses in gear. Remind them of the fact that they're miserable, and that they're the only ones who can fix that.

"And if Lindsey's relationship with Mel and her moral obligations aren't enough...." Justin took a deep breath. "Just so you know, I don't like suggesting this. If I could come up with anything else, I wouldn't. But you have a right to sue for permanent custody of Gus based on Lindsey's plan to participate in fraud against the government."

Brian mulled that over in his mind. "You don't think I could get her to change her mind in any other way?"

Justin shrugged. "If there is a legal way to give Melanie the right to be involved in Gus's care without you giving up your own rights, you could suggest that, earn some nice-guy points." Justin smiled. "You know, kill them with kindness, and if they refuse to give in, then hit them with the big guns."

 _Well_ , Brian thought, _it can't hurt to try it the twink's way._

* * *

 Brian barged into the house, Melanie trailing after him. Lindsey looked at them and said, "Look, we're in a hurry."

Mel stammered, "I'm sorry, I had no idea he was bringing me here. He—he said you had an accident."

"An _accident_?"

"It was the only way. Now get in here, both of you. We need to talk."

Gui put up a fuss, but Brian stared him down. "Sit down and shut up."

When everyone but Brian was seated, he took a deep breath and began. "Okay. I don't want to hear any more shit about, 'This is my fault.' 'No, this is my fault. I'm to blame.' 'No, I'm to blame. I'm sorry.' 'No, I'm sorry.'"

The girls took a moment to do exactly what Brian just told them not to do, but he interrupted.

"I said shut up. And fuck therapy." He took another deep breath. "The only thing that matters is that baby you're holding, Lindsey."

As the girls agreed with him, they said nothing.

"Look, you wanted to have Gus, together. And I know I threw a wrench in your plan. I didn't know how much I was going to care about him. But right now, I'm the _only_ one thinking of him, and that has to stop.

"Melanie, you're supposed to be his mother. And yet, as far as I can tell, you haven't made much of an effort to spend time with him since the two of you broke up. Whether you get back together or not, you're either going to be a mother like you're supposed to be, or you're going to get out of his life. My son is not going to grow up wondering why one of his parents never spends any time with him.

"And Lindsey, this whole farce is going to fucking stop. You're not going to put yourself at risk of going to jail when you've got primary custody of my son. I'm not going to let that happen.

"I know you're both upset with me about not giving up my parental rights. I'm not going to change my mind about that. But I agree that Melanie needs to have legal claim to him, too. If we can sort this shit out, we'll look into what we can legally do so that the law recognizes Mel as another parent to Gus.

"So, you've got three choices. Get back together, or figure your shit out separately... or I'm suing for custody of Gus. Pick one."

Lindsey was utterly speechless.

But Mel wasn't.

"You think that _any_ court is going to give you custody of an infant, with your lifestyle?"

Brian shook his head. "And of course, you ignore the other more favorable options completely. But yes, I do, considering that one mother is about to defraud the government and the other has basically ignored her child since the break-up. And maybe I wouldn't get primary custody, but at least Gus wouldn't be raised in a house built on lies"—he glared at Lindsey—"because there's no way the courts would let the marriage go through once they find out what's going on."

Everyone was quiet for a while, the girls thinking hard about the choices they'd made recently and how it was affecting their son. Melanie couldn't believe that it had taken _Brian_ pointing it out for her to realize that she'd been ignoring her son just so she could avoid awkward situations with Lindsey. Much as she hated to admit it, Brian was right.

Lindsey felt awful. It shouldn't be a surprise, considering Brian's own background, that having his son raised in a house where the parents lied about their lives and who they were would not be something he'd condone. But that he'd be willing to change around his whole life, just to prevent Gus from having to live through that... Lindsey was _floored_. She didn't think Brian would ever be willing to change. In fact, that was one of the things she loved about him: he did what (and who) he wanted, when he wanted, and how he wanted.

Had becoming a father really changed him that much?

Lindsey broke out of her revery when Brian asked, "So what's it going to be?"

"Do you still love me?" Lindsey asked Melanie.

"I never stopped," Mel assured her softly. "What d'you think?"

Lindsey nodded. "Okay."

The girls kissed, and Brian took Gus so that they could have their make-up moment. "You're a bunch of dykes, for chrissake, toughen up."

Brian held his son and thought about the blonde twink that was responsible for his family getting straightened out. He smiled softly at Gus, grateful that he was still legally the boy's father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one was late, guys. I didn't quite have time to finish this up before I had to go to work last night. But I hope it was worth the wait. :)


	9. S2 E1: Justin and Daphne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a fix of the scene after Hobbs' sentencing where Jennifer tells Brian that she doesn't want him to be around Justin anymore. I never understood why Justin and Daphne didn't eavesdrop on them. This one ended up being kind of short, but if I added in the next scene (which I didn't want to anyway, since it's in the next episode) the chapter would have been too long. So this is a quick one.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

"Shit!" Justin hissed, trying to get his hand to stop cramping. "Fuck."

"Come on," Brian urged him, "you can do it."

Justin shook his head. "I can't."

No way was Brian going to let him take that kind of attitude. "Yes, you can. Come on."

Justin tossed the ball to Brian, who easily caught it. Brian and Daphne both smiled.

"Hey," Daph said, "that one was good, Justin!"

Scoffing, Justin muttered, "Daph, you're so full of _shit_."

Jennifer pulled up into the drive way then, and hellos were exchanged. Eventually, she asked Justin and Daphne to head inside so that she and Brian could talk.

Once the door was closed behind them, Justin grabbed Daphne's hand and ran toward the stairs.

"Justin, what the fuck?"

"Hurry, Daph. My bedroom window's open, we'll be able to hear everything they're saying!"

Daphne laughed and followed as quickly as she could.

When they reached Justin's bedroom window, they could hear Jennifer saying, "...get better and get out, so that he could come see you. Of course, what Justin didn't know, and I didn't tell him, was... that you _were_ there. Every night."

Justin felt frozen in place. _He... was there? Every fucking night?_

"The nurse on duty told me," Jennifer continued.

Justin tuned her out for a moment, turning to Daphne and saying, "I asked him! I fucking asked him why he never came to see me, and he didn't say a fucking word! Why the hell wouldn't he tell me?"

Daphne put her hand on Justin's arm. "Justin... you don't remember what happened. And I didn't see anything. Brian _did_. He came to prom, and he was so romantic with you, and then you get bashed and end up in a coma in the hospital. I _know_ that he was feeling guilty, and I know you know that, too. He was afraid that he'd find out that you blame him as much as he blames himself. Now shush, I want to know what they're saying!"

Outside on the porch, it was quiet for a moment. Then, Brian said, "I care about him."

"Oh!" Justin gasped softly. "Oh, my god. Daphne, he... oh my god!"

Daphne was all smiles, but then they heard Jennifer say, "It was because of you he was almost killed."

"That _bitch_!" Daphne spat. "Oh, sorry, Jus."

Justin shook his head at her, wanting her to be quiet. Jennifer went on to say, "Forgive me for being so... blunt."

"No," Justin whispered, "I can't forgive you for saying that. I won't. Not ever."

"I've tried to accept him for who he is."

 _Bullshit_ , all three listeners thought simultaneously.

"To accept your world, and that he's part of it. I've even tried to accept you, and as a result... I nearly lost him. And I don't intend to lose him again. So if you care about him... and I believe—I believe you _do_. You'll do as I ask, and return my son to me."

Justin couldn't listen to that shit any longer. He stormed down the stairs, Daphne on his heels.

By the time they got to the door, Brian was already driving off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thousand apologies for every day that I made you guys wait!
> 
> Whoever first said "When it rains, it pours," damn well knew what they were talking about.
> 
> On the plus side for you guys, that means that it should be pouring down updates this weekend! (Knock on wood, but barring any further unexpected complications, I have pretty much nothing on my plate the next couple of days and can hopefully catch up, or at least make a significant dent in the backlog.)


	10. S2 E2: Brian and Justin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a restructuring of S2 E2, since, from the previous fix-it, Justin is already pissed off at his mom for telling Brian that the bashing was his fault. (In the show, he isn't upset until he goes to the loft and Brian turns him away; that's when he figures out that his mother told Brian not to come near Justin again.) There's also a bit about Hobbs' trial that I've always wanted to fix, so there's a few lines in here on that subject.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you read chapter 9 first! These two updates are going up one right after the other, and the previous chapter is essential for the set-up of this one.

Justin was too angry at his mother to talk to her. There was quite a bit of silence, then, for the next few days, as Molly had soccer practice in the mornings and spent most of her time at the neighbor's house in the afternoons. Justin could tell that his mom had no idea he was specifically angry at _her_. But since he knew he'd completely explode if he said anything at all, he kept his silence. And _she_ kept close watch, rightly suspecting that Justin would take the first opportunity to run back to Brian.

Finally, Justin simply couldn't take it anymore. He _had_ to see Brian, to tell him that his mom was fucking nuts (for real this time), and that she couldn't have been more wrong.

To that end, when his mom went to drop Molly off three mornings after her confrontation with Brian, Justin faked a migraine so he could be left at home alone. As soon as his mom cleared the driveway, he called Daphne, who drove him over to Brian's loft.

* * *

 

When Brian finally opened the door, Justin immediately said, "My mother doesn't know shit."

Brian, stunned to see Justin there and wanting nothing more than to pull the kid— _young man_ , rather—into the loft (and his arms), nonetheless wanted to avoid incurring further wrath from Jennifer Taylor. Instead of doing what both of them really wanted him to do, Brian started to close the door again. "Whether she knows shit or doesn't, she's still your mother."

Justin stood in the doorway, knowing that Brian wouldn't actually close the door if it could hurt him. "I don't give a fuck! I'm eighteen years old. She can't decide what I do or who I spend time with." Taking a deep, steadying breath, Justin said calmly, "If you don't want me to stay, that's fine. But I would appreciate you giving me at least a few minutes of your time."

After a couple moments of contemplation, Brian stood aside.

When they were seated on the couch, Justin scooted over and maneuvered Brian so he could sit between the man's legs, his back to Brian's chest. "First, she's batshit crazy if she thinks what she's doing is 'accepting' who I am, what I want. She's basically locked me in a cage! I had to fake a migraine at the last minute just so she'd fucking leave me in the house alone this morning.

"And Brian," he added softly, taking the man's hands in his own and entwining their fingers. "She's also wrong. About it being your fault, I mean."

Justin could feel Brian shaking his head. "No, she's fucking right. If I hadn't been there—"

"I'd have died." Justin's tone was final. When Brian didn't respond, Justin turned around. "He didn't hit me with a baseball bat because you came to prom, Brian. He was driving a rented car."

"So?" Brian shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant, but Justin saw right through him.

"So... who the fuck packs a baseball bat in a rented luxury car before driving that car to prom?"

Both men were silent for a time, Justin allowing Brian to process that. After a time, he said, "If I hadn't gone out to the Jeep with you, I'd have been going back to Daphne's car with her. Which means she could have been the one in a coma. Or worse could have happened. You weren't the reason Hobbs hit me over the head, Brian. You're the reason he only managed to hit me once."

Brian's breathing went ragged. Knowing that the man wouldn't want to be seen falling apart, Justin hugged him, tucking the auburn head in between his neck and shoulder. His hand rubbed soothing circles on Brian's back. Neither spoke again for a long time.

* * *

Before long, Jennifer showed up at the loft. When Brian answered the door, she demanded to know where Justin was. The young man in question was currently hiding out in the bathroom, so Brian decided to field this situation himself.

With biting sarcasm, Brian asked, "What, your little lock-and-key routine didn't work?"

Jennifer's mouth dropped open in surprise. Brian didn't usually contest her decisions where her son was concerned. Not with any real vehemence, anyway.

When she regained herself, she asked, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"He's not an untrained puppy, Mrs. Taylor. You can't just lock him up to keep him from running off."

"Where. Is. My. Son?"

"Right here," Justin said, standing by the bedroom. "But if you came to take me back home, you're wasting your time."

"Justin," Jennifer said, her tone now cajoling instead of fiery. "Honey, you need to come home."

"What I _need_ ," he insisted, "is for my mother not to blame the actions of a violent homophobe on my boyfriend! Hobbs could have killed me, Mom. He probably _would_ have if Brian hadn't been there to stop him."

Jennifer shook her head, getting angry again. "If he hadn't seduced you, Justin, this whole thing never—"

Justin scoffed. "You really think that I'm gay because Brian had sex with me? Mom, I came to Liberty Ave that night _specifically looking for a guy to lose my virginity to_. The fact that it happened to be Brian was just a stroke of luck. And Hobbs didn't bash me because Brian and I danced together at prom. He bashed me because I told his posse about me giving him a hand-job in the equipment room at school."

The blood drained from Jennifer's face, and Brian looked at Justin with a surprised expression. He'd forgotten all about that, what with his worry for Justin and his own desperate guilt. But now that Justin said it... yeah, that seemed much more likely.

He'd have to speak to Melanie, see if she thought there was a way they could appeal on the grounds of further evidence coming to light.

* * *

Eventually, Jennifer agreed to Justin moving in with Brian. Not that she had any real authority to stop it from happening, Justin would be happy to point out, but it was nice to have her approval, just the same.

Brian insisted it was "just until you get better," and Justin claimed that his hand was the only thing that was wrong, but they both knew better.

Even if neither was ready to face the music just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT 9/18: Consistency problem with the car Hobbs drove to prom. It's fixed now :)


	11. S2 E2: Brian and Dr. Alex Wilder, Brian and Justin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like they missed an important line for the psychologist/psychiatrist that Brian consults at the bar. And if Dr. Wilder had said that one thing, I think a lot of things would have gone better for our boys.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is E.

"Naturally," Dr. Wilder was saying, "he's going to be afraid to let anyone touch him. Even you," he added not unkindly.

Brian did his best not to let the worry drown him. He was only partially successful. "But he'll get over it, right?"

Dr. Wilder shrugged. "Well, that depends. It's like a fairy tale:  Rapunzel trapped in the tower, Hansel and Gretel caged by the witch. Only in this case, it's Justin's memory that's been locked up." With a small smirk, Alex added, "And it's... it's up to you to release it. Handsome prince."

"And... how the fuck do I do that?"

"Trigger his memory," the doctor said, completely serious and straightforward. "Get him to feel the pain."

After a few moments of quiet, Brian asked in a pained voice, "Are you shitting me?"

"No. Until he can process it and move beyond it, he's always gonna feel isolated, unhappy, alone. It's not just the walking wounded. It's the walking dead."

Alex let Brian think about that for a minute. When he was sure that what he'd said had sunk in, he added, "Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. Left alone, the problem will only get worse, harder to deal with. And left to fester long enough, the emotional pain will eventually drown out everything else."

The doctor sighed. "Look, dealing with these kinds of issues is never easy. There's no quick fix. But the relief at the end of the road is well worth the fight to get there." Staring straight at Brian, he smiled a little. "I'm speaking from personal experience, here, not just as a doctor."

"You're very eloquent when I'm drunk," Brian offered.

Knowing from that comment that continuing their informal session wouldn't do any further good, Dr. Wilder stood then, saying, "I'm afraid our time's up."

"So, how much do I owe you?"

"I'll take it out in trade," he offered, "next time I see you in the baths."

As the doctor left, Brian remembered that the man was in a long-term, monogamous relationship. _See me in the baths, my ass._

* * *

Brian took the doc's advice to heart. He recruited Daphne to help recreate the dance. Although Justin tried to tell them that he sort of remembered, Brian was sure he didn't, not really. He would have been much happier, if he'd really remembered their _ridiculously romantic_ dance that night.

Going to the parking garage was... excruciating. Knowing that the beautiful night he'd wanted to give Justin had been so totally destroyed, along with the blond's confidence and much of his hand's motor control.... Brian _hurt_. For once, he'd been certain he was doing the right thing, and look what had happened!

But then Justin leaned into him and softly reminded him, "It wasn't your fault, baby."

Brian rolled his eyes at the endearment. But the message was nice to hear, just the same.

* * *

At Gus's birthday party— _Fuck, has it already been a fucking year?_ —when Justin cringed at the sight of the bat, Brian immediately knew what had happened. He quickly and carefully wrapped Justin up in his arms and pulled him into the house, away from prying eyes.

When they were alone in the kitchen, Brian whispered softly, "I've got you Jus, you're alright. It's over. You're safe." He wasn't sure at first that he was doing this right, but soon, Justin began to calm, his trembling tapering off.

Before long, Brian had Justin bundled up in bed back at the loft. He tried to keep himself busy, but his mind kept wandering back to their shitty afternoon.

 _Fuck Wilder! How the fucking hell is this **better** than just forgetting about_ _it?_

Luckily, Justin started to wake in the late evening. Brian let him have a few moments to collect himself. He walked around the loft, shutting things off in preparation for bed. Hopefully, Justin was doing better.

They spoke quietly for a while. After Justin explained what he'd remembered, he snuggled up to Brian. "Remembering.... It hurts, of course it does. Not the least because now I know exactly what you saw." His breath hitched. "I'm so sorry, Bri."

"Shh, it's gonna be alright," Brian murmured.

Justin sniffled. "It's... painful and scary, thinking about what happened. But... knowing that there was nothing I could have done differently, that you did everything you could to protect me... that's comforting. At least I know now that I wasn't some defenseless idiot, that I didn't run from him, that I didn't stand up for myself." He breathed deeply. "I got hurt because Hobbs is a self-hating, homophobic asshole, and he was a coward, coming at me when my back was turned. He couldn't face his own problems, so he took it out on me."

Brian pulled Justin in close. "I'm going to talk to Mel. No one told the prosecutor about Hobbs threatening you the night you outed him, and I doubt anyone said anything about his bullying or destruction of your property before he threatened you, either. He shouldn't get to have his charges moved down to simple assault when it was fucking premeditated."

"They can't prove that Hobbs was the one who set fire to my locker."

Brian scoffed. "Seriously? A private school with the amount of funding they have, and you don't think they have cameras in the hallways? They're just homophobic pricks like Hobbs and didn't want to do anything about it."

Justin sat back. "But it wasn't just _my_ property that got destroyed in that fire. The lockers around mine were affected. And the books in my locker were school property, too, not to mention the lockers themselves. You really think they'd have ignored that if they had video of it happening?"

"They ignored the fact that it happened at all, didn't they? You said the principle claimed to not even know that you were being bullied."

"Fuck."

After a few minutes, Brian said, "I'll talk to Mel, see if we can get the case re-opened on the grounds of new evidence. Simple assault is not fucking enough. And the school should be held responsible for not taking any action against Hobbs before...."

Justin appreciated Brian's support, but he'd had a fucking awful afternoon. He decided that a distraction was in order.

Leaning over slowly, Justin placed a tender kiss on Brian's lips. As he wrapped a hand around Brian's neck, he felt something underneath Brian's shirt.

He was stunned to find the scarf Brian must have been wearing that night, still covered in his own blood.

"Oh, Bri," Justin sighed into the man's neck. He felt Brian shrug, obviously not wanting to talk about it.

Instead of pressing the subject, Justin went back to the matter at hand. Pressing his forehead to Brian's, he whispered, "I want you inside me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Just... take it easy."

Brian smiled. "Like the first time?"

And this was a first, for Brian. He and Justin had certainly gone slow before, but this was the first time he'd started sex with Justin with the intent of making love to him.

When Brian was fully seated, Justin sighed in relief. "Brian...."

"I've got you," Brian promised.

Brian rocked slowly, careful to hit Justin's prostate as often as possible. Justin's left hand reached back to pull Brian's lips against his own. The air was quiet but for their soft whimpers, the sound of their tongues sweeping together, and soft murmurs of each other's names.

Wanting to be connected to Justin in every way possible, Brian brought his right arm under Justin's neck and twined their fingers together.

When they had found their mutual release, Justin cuddled close to Brian and whispered, "I love you."

"I know, twat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't work in the legal system, so my understanding of these things is rudimentary. However, I like to be as accurate as possible, so I looked up "how do plea bargains work" on Google and went to the link to the website of the American Bar Association. I'm not sure if this applied when the show was actually running, but the website said this:
> 
> "Plea bargaining is essentially a private process, but this is changing now that victims rights groups are becoming recognized. Under many victim rights statutes, victims have the right to have input into the plea bargaining process."
> 
> I'm going to be using this concept in the fic. My apologies if it wouldn't have applied in the summer of 2001, or if my understanding of this process is off. If you have experience with this and can correct me, I'd love to hear from you. XD


	12. S2 E3: Justin and Howard Bellweather, Brian and Justin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love the confrontation in the bookshop. But I wish Justin had said more. Here's my extended scene, and an extended follow-up.
> 
> This chapter is rated T.

Justin stormed toward the front of the line, the crowd completely forgotten. Brian tailed him closely, not willing to let Justin out of his sight.

Ted was at the front of the line, spelling out his last name, when Justin plopped a copy of Bellweather's book in front of him.

"Sign this," he demanded firmly, "'To Brian Kinney, Please accept my apologies for what I wrote about you. I'm a sucking sack of shit. Love and luck, Howie.'"

Several fans made affronted noises, and Brian was tickled to see Ted blush red in embarrassment.

Bellweather looked steadily at Justin. "I take it _you_ are—"

"His 'teenage lover,'" Justin affirmed with a smile.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet such a bright, brave young man. If anyone should be getting an award for heroism, it's you."

"You had _no right_ to say those things."

"On the contrary, it was my obligation."

Justin was _really_ getting pissed off now. "He _saved my life_."

"He's also stolen part of it," Bellweather continued, his voice oozing self-righteousness. "Your innocence, your youth. One day, you'll see he's hurt you as much as your attacker."

"You... _absolute fuckwad_!" With a shake of his head and a short, humorless laugh, Justin insisted, "You know _nothing_ about how we met, what he's done for me, or what our relationship is like. You sit on your soap box and preach that Brian _must_ be a child molester if he's sleeping with a teenager. Since you didn't bother to do your own research, I'll do it for you: I went _looking_ to get fucked the night we met. He didn't have to ask, I would've _paid_ him! I was seventeen the night I met him, and Pennsylvania's age of consent is sixteen.

"Also, in case you missed that vocabulary lesson, pedophilia is a sexual attraction to _prepubescent children_. Seventeen is _not_ prepubescent. And Brian has been there for me through things that no seventeen-year-old should have to go through. I haven't been a child for a long time, but the loss of my innocence, as you say, wasn't because of him. And he hasn't stolen my youth. I'm still young, and I'm enjoying my youth more with him in my life than I was enjoying it before we met.

"Chris Hobbs took away the memory of what, according to my best friend, was the most romantic night of my life. He put me in the _hospital_ , in a coma for two weeks. He gave me _brain damage_ , and because of that, I'm going through serious physical therapy. I'm an _artist_ , and I can barely use my hand. Going out in public nearly causes panic attacks.

"But Brian has been there for me. He's helping me talk through what happened, helped me gain back some of my memory. He's helping me with my physical therapy and walking with me through crowds to help me get used to being around people again. And you think that his being in my life is on level with the man that nearly _killed me_? You're a fucking idiot, Bedwetter."

Justin backed away from the table, saying, "You're as close-minded as the homophobic pricks you hope to impress by writing the things you do. Just because someone lives differently than you doesn't make them _wrong_ , asshole." He shoved some of the books off of Bellweather's signing table and headed for the door.

Brian, overflowing with pride for how Justin had stood up for the both of them, turned to Bellweather to add his two cents. "By the way... I'm _thirty_." With a smug grin, he turned to Ted. "See you at Woody's tonight, Theodore? Perfect!" And then he followed Justin out the door.

* * *

A few days later, on one of their now-routine walks, Justin happily went right into Brian's arms, so proud of himself that he'd made it down the whole block alone.

"I wasn't sure I could do it."

"I was," Brian responded immediately, pulling Justin in for a deep kiss.

When the kiss ended, Justin cocked his head. "What's that for?"

With a smirk, Brian answered, "You know how much I love sex in public places."

"Then suck me off," Justin challenged, "right here, right now, in broad daylight."

"Well," Brian teased back, "you _are_ recovering nicely."

"Bad as new."

Getting a little more serious, Brian said, "But one step at a time. First, we walk back to my place. _Then_ , I suck you off."

"I can do it by myself."

Brian raised an eyebrow. "You can give yourself head?"

Laughing, Justin said, "No! I can walk back—to _our_ place—without a chaperone."

Shaking his head but still smiling, Brian asked, "You're not trying to lose me, are ya?"

"Mhmm. Yeah, I'm sick of you always following me around." Brian gave him an incredulous look, but Justin just went on. "Don't you have any friends your own age?"

"Yeah, but... none of them adore me as much as you do."

Justin hummed. "I can think of one who does."

With a serious look, Brian shook his head. "No, he just likes to think he does."

"Still," Justin murmured. "You should spend some time with him. I'll be fine."

Brian was visibly uncomfortable with the idea of letting Justin walk back alone, but when the younger man promised to text as soon as he was back at the loft, he felt better about it.

Justin reminded him of the fundraiser, though he was fully aware that Brian wouldn't go. "You're a hero," he insisted. "No matter what anyone says."

They shared a deep kiss, and when they pulled back, Brian smirked. "Thank you for the standing ovation."

With a roll of his eyes, Justin headed off in the direction of the loft. "Later."

Brian returned the sentiment, waiting until Justin was out of sight before heading out, too.

_Time to patch things up with Mikey._

* * *

After Comic Con, Brian headed straight back to the loft, skipping out on the fundraiser ( _Fuck needing their approval._ ) in favor of getting back to his blond. As Justin had insisted that afternoon, he had indeed been fine on his own for a few hours.

"It's nice to have you home, though," Justin admitted with a shy smile.


	13. S2 E4: Brian and Justin and Michael, The Gang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the little fix to Brian's conversation with Dr. Wilder, the scene at the loft after Justin sees Hobbs at the AIDS Hospice needs tweaking. (In the show, Brian tells Justin "don't think about it," but Alex's words have left a little more of a lasting impression on my Brian, so his reaction will be different.) And then Brian's going to make good on his intentions to get Hobbs a more appropriate sentencing.
> 
> The rating for this chapter is T.

Michael took Brian back to the loft, seeing as he was too drunk to get there on his own without injury. When Michael pulled back the door, Justin could hear from the bedroom as Brian rambled on.

"Did you see 'em? Huh? Did you _see_ the way they lapped this shit up?"

Michael shushed him. "You're gonna wake Justin."

"The best part—the _best part_ is that the old geezer who makes this shit hates fags. Is that a scream or what?"

"Or what," Michael hissed. "As in, 'What are you doing helping a creep like that?'"

"Oh, for the pure poetic irony." Brian did a little twirl, barely keeping his balance. "Cool, huh? Or should I say, 'cooler'?"

Justin walked into the doorway of the bedroom just at that moment. His voice shaking, he announced, "I saw him. Chris Hobbs."

That sobered Brian a bit. "Another dream," he stated more than asked.

But Justin shook his head. "He was _at the Hospice_."

"What the fuck was he doing there?" Now Brian was much more clear-headed, thanks to his mounting concern and anger.

"It's where they assigned him his community service."

"What the hell?" Michael shook his head, visibly upset. "Is that some sort of sick joke?"

A hand to his head, Brian asked, really worried, "Did he do anything?"

Quietly, Justin admitted, "He said that he hopes I get AIDS and die."

"Piece of shit!" Michael started pacing, trying to work off his fury.

"Fucker," Brian muttered, moving forward and pulling Justin into his arms. "Alright. After the parade tomorrow, at the family dinner, we're talking to Mel. I'll meet you at the end of the parade, pick you up—"

Justin cut him off. "I'm not going."

"And miss your first Pride?" Brian asked softly.

Stepping back, Justin demanded loudly, "And what am I supposed to be proud of? That I got bashed and didn't die?"

"Yes!" Brian shouted back. He took a deep breath to calm himself, took Justin back into his arms, and said more quietly, "Proud that you didn't let what he did stop you from living. Proud that you're fighting, getting better every fucking day." Brian hid his face in Justin's neck and added, too softly for Michael to hear, "Proud that you stand up for yourself, that you don't let anyone walk all over you. Not even me."

Justin clutched Brian fiercely in return, but he moved away toward the bed after a few moments, still too upset to even contemplate celebrating his sexual freedom the next day.

Choosing that moment to intervene, Michael walked up to Brian and hissed, "If he doesn't want to go, don't make him."

"Stay out of it," Brian whispered.

"Sure. Although you have to admire the _pure poetic irony_ of seeing you, of all people, trying to encourage him to go to pride when"—he held up the bottle Brian had been peddling all night—" _this_ is what you're proud of?"

Brian snapped back, "Yeah, and what are you proud of? That you're too piss-in-your-pants afraid to march with your own goddamn mother?"

Michael stormed out of the loft, shouting, "Fuck you!" to Brian on the way.

* * *

The following night, after the Pride festivities had died down, the 'family' was gathered at Deb's house. Brian and Justin were squashed together in the corner of the couch, the rest of the group scattered around the room.

Eventually, Michael spoke up. His voice was a little snide, so he obviously was still angry at his best friend. "So, Brian. Justin went to the parade, I marched in drag. How'd you get your pride back?"

With a smirk, Brian said, "I got Lester Poole to donate a considerable sum to the Gay Marriage Initiative instead of paying me a commission on his advertising campaign."

Several gasps and shouts went up around the room. Justin turned in Brian's arms, a beaming smile on his face. "I'm proud of you, Bri."

"Better be," he snarked.

When the topic of Brian's genius had been exhausted, Brian turned to Melanie and explained about his issues with the way Hobbs' case had been handled.

"I understand why you're upset, Brian," Melanie said, looking at Justin oddly, "but they made a plea bargain. We could have affected the decision before, but...."

Brian shook his head, not understanding. "What could be done before? Why can't we fix it now?"

Melanie sighed, sending Justin an apologetic look. "Justin gave his consent for the plea bargain to be accepted. There's nothing more we can do."

"No, I didn't," Justin insisted fiercely, sitting up. "I never knew any fucking thing about it until it was all over."

Melanie's brow furrowed. "But... there are statutes that have to be adhered to. The victim of a crime of this level has to give consent to lowering the charges."

Justin shook his head. "I never heard anything about it."

With a sigh, Mel explained, "Then we have recourse. But it will go to court, and will probably be a long process, if you want to revoke the plea agreement."

"I do." Justin's voice was firm.


	14. S2 E6: Brian and Michael/Debbie/Justin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I totally think it was in-character for Brian to bring home Zucchini Guy, even though I hate that Justin had just been so happy about Brian putting him first, right before he comes home to find Brian _in flagrante_ with the idiot. However, what I _don't_ like is the follow-up to that scene, so here's how I'd change it.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.
> 
> (To clarify: the chapter title is actually 'Brian and Michael, Brian and Debbie, Brian and Justin' but that was so long I decided to shorten it.)

"This speech is for shit," Michael complained lowly as Brian drove him to the Carnegie Mellon campus.

"Well, why'd you agree?" Brian asked.

With a sigh, Michael answered truthfully, "The professor's really cute."

Brian smirked. "Oh, _really_?"

"Oh, you can put _that_ idea right out of your mind, mister. I saw him first." As an afterthought, Michael added, "Besides, you're living with someone."

Out of habit, Brian was immediately contrary. "He's living with me."

"Whatever," Michael added, distracted now as he looked over his notes. "Either way, you're all comfy and cozy." Then a thought occurred to him. "Except when you're fucking other guys."

"Who I fuck is none of your business. Or his."

Michael sighed. "That's bullshit, and you know it, Brian. Even if you don't want to admit it, Justin is your partner. You're _living_ together. And if you don't want monogamy, that's your prerogative, but you could at least not shove it in his face."

"Where the hell is this coming from?"

"From the guy who saw the way you two were at Mom's on Sunday! Brian... I can see how much you care about him. I was there at the hospital that night, you know. And... and I saw the scarf. When I came back from Portland."

Brian's hands tensed on the wheel as he pulled up to the curb at the university. Refusing to leave until they'd hashed this out, Michael turned to face Brian. "It's okay to love him, you know."

All Brian could do was stare at the dashboard, breathing slowly.

Eventually, Michael sighed. "Look, at least talk to him? You're my best friend, Bri. I know you. And I know you don't like to hurt people, much as you like to make people think you do."

There was a long pause before Michael said, "This speech thing is a really dumb idea. Let's just get out of here."

"Don't be pathetic. _You_ made a commitment, now you're gonna go through with it."

Michael shot him a pointed look. "So did you, even if you didn't say anything with words." He sighed. "Alright, here goes nothing."

As Michael was about to close the door of the Jeep, Brian said softly, "Later, Mikey."

At least that told Michael the man had been listening.

* * *

Justin didn't know what to do about Brian. On the one hand, he didn't expect monogamy (at least not yet). But it would be nice to come home and not worry about whether the man he loved was fucking someone else there.

And more than that... what Michael had said really worried him. Was it really only because Brian felt guilty that Justin was even living with him now?

Only one way to find out, he supposed.

When Brian interrupted his homework, Justin almost cried in relief for a moment. Brian went straight for his neck—which is what the brunet did when he was feeling more emotional than usual.

However, Justin refused to be distracted from what he wanted to know. When Brian mentioned the zucchini man, Justin knew it was time to bring up the subject.

"I... I don't even remember it," Brian assured Justin, sounding almost... _hesitant_ , and maybe even nervous. "Or him. It—it was nothing."

"I know," Justin said honestly. _That's not the problem, baby._ "It was just you being you. I know who you are," Justin continued, still being honest. "I don't expect you to change—in fact, I don't even want you to." _At least, not if you're only changing to make me happy. I want **you** to be_   _happy._

Brian could tell that Justin was definitely upset about _something_ , but he could tell that Justin truly wasn't upset about the idiot prick he'd picked up in the grocery. Still nervous, he asked, "Then, _what_?"

Justin took a deep breath. "Why am I here, Brian?" Brian tried to make a joke, but Justin headed him off. "You know what I mean. Am I only here because you still feel guilty, even though I've done everything I can to convince you that there's nothing for you to feel guilty over?"

The room was quiet, and Brian found he couldn't look Justin in the eye. Justin, wanting Brian to have some space to really think about the two of them and what they were doing, decided to spend the night at Debbie's.

* * *

He didn't count on it raining on his way over there, though. Just his luck.

* * *

When Debbie came to confront him at the bar, Brian was already feeling like utter shit. He hadn't meant for Justin to feel that way. Yeah, he still felt guilty. And that had been a large part of the reason he'd let Justin come back to live with him.

But it wasn't the only reason, and apparently Deb could see that.

Brian had tried his traditional method of being an asshole until whoever was bugging him got up and left. But this time, Deb was prepared. She expected it.

And she wasn't going to let him get away with it.

"You think you've got _everybody_ fooled, don't ya? Well, not me, honey. I've known you too long, and certainly too well. And no matter how hard you try to deny it, I can _tell_ that you care as much about him as he does about you. Only you haven't got the big, hairy _cojones_ to say it."

Oh, Brian _so_ didn't want to have this conversation. Wasn't once enough for this week? Michael had already brought up the subject, he didn't fucking want it from Debbie, too. In another diversion attempt, he suggested sarcastically, "Oh, well, maybe I can borrow yours."

Deb chuckled. "Well, hey. Whatever it takes... to admit that you love him. And I _know_ that you do. Despite all your efforts to never let another heart touch yours."

Brian shot her a glare at that last bit, so Deb moved on. "That little, persistent kid has somehow gotten in under the barbed-wire fence you put up around that big heart of yours. And that's what's happened, huh? Admit the truth."

Brian looked at her then, but said nothing.

"You love him, don't you?" she whispered.

Needing to look away, not able to say a word, Brian dropped his chin onto his hands and let out the breath he'd been holding for who-knew how long.

"I thought so. Then _tell him_. Tell him what you would never have been able to truthfully say to Michael."

Deb left Woody's, a pensive Brian still warming the same bar stool.

* * *

Brian went straight up to Justin on Babylon's dance floor as soon as he spotted the blond.

"Hey, fuck off," Brian said to the asshole that Justin had been plastered to.

"What do you want?" Justin asked calmly.

After a moment, Brian finally spoke. "You were right. One of the reasons I took you in was because you took a bat to the head. But it wasn't the only reason, and it has nothing to do with why I want you to stay."

Justin could tell that Brian was utterly serious. He listened intently as Brian continued. "Just... don't get the idea that we're some married couple, because we're not."

While there was a lot Justin could counter to that statement ( _Does he really think that all marriages are the same? Lots of married people aren't monogamous._ ), he kept quiet, letting Brian say his piece. "We're not a pair of dykes marching down the isle wearing matching Vera Wangs."

Fuck, Justin just _barely_ kept himself from rolling his eyes at that. Brian had serious psychological blocks when it came to marriage and weddings. ( _Maybe in five to ten years, I can cure him of that._ )

"We're queers. And if we're together, it's because we want to be, not because there's locks on our doors. So if I'm out late, just assume I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing:  I'm fucking. And when I come home, I'll also be doing exactly what I want to do:  coming home to you."

Holding in a smile, Justin took a deep breath. "Okay. I want some things, too."

Brian tried to keep the proud look off his face, though he wasn't sure how successful he was.

His boy was learning.

"You can fuck whoever you want," Justin promised, "as long as it's not twice. Same for me. And no names or numbers exchanged. And no matter where we are, no matter what we're doing, we always come home." He paused a moment, thinking. With a smirk, he added, "By two."

Eyebrow raised, Brian countered, "Four."

"Three," Justin demanded, smiling now. That was doable.

"Also, no bringing tricks back to the loft unless we're sharing and it has been previously agreed upon." Justin sighed. "That's what upset me about the zucchini guy, Brian. I don't like the feeling of not knowing what I'm walking into when all I'm doing is going home."

 _Well_ , Brian thought, _that'll be a difficult habit to break. But I can understand why that upsets him._ He cleared his throat and said, "Alright." They both knew he'd keep his promise, even if he'd struggle with that for a while.

Justin nodded with a grateful smile. "And one more thing:  we don't kiss anyone else on the mouth but each other."

Brian rolled his lips in and nodded.

They sealed the deal with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! I feel _very_ accomplished! Four chapters up today! I hope you guys have enjoyed them! XD
> 
> Notice that I had Justin be more specific about the rules (and added one that I always thought he should have asked for) because in the show, Justin makes it sound like most of the rules apply only to Brian. If they're going by verbal agreement, technically Justin only had one rule (the no-repeats rule), so the kissing, curfew, and names/numbers rules didn't apply to him. (I know that's not how it's meant to come across in the show, but Justin _does_ omit himself from those rules in the way he phrases them.)


	15. S2 E8: Justin and Melanie/Daphne/Brian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two parts to this chapter: furthering the fix-it regarding Hobbs' sentencing, and an extra scene following Brian finding out that Justin broke the "no kissing on the mouth" rule. I just had to add in a couple scenes because there's never enough Daphne, and because that particular mess-up of Justin's never actually got resolved between them on the show. (With Brian being a little more open to talking this time around, thanks to Dr. Wilder, I think this is plausible. I hope you'll agree.) Heads up, there's an OC in this chapter.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

One Tuesday morning a couple of weeks into the semester, Melanie picked Justin up from PIFA to take him to the county prosecutor's office.

"Fucking finally," she muttered as they headed up the building steps. "I'm sorry this has taken so long, Justin. It took me forever to convince the prosecutor that your permission for the plea agreement had never actually been given. I still don't think he believes it, but he definitely seemed more receptive to the idea that evidence was ignored. He finally agreed to let us come in to see him."

Justin nodded. "I understand. I really appreciate you doing this, Mel."

She smiled tightly. "I'm happy to help. That fucker deserves the highest punishment the courts can give him for what he did."

Before long, they were let into the private office of District Attorney Mark Geller. After introductions were made, Geller directed Melanie and Justin to the seats across from his desk.

"So, Ms. Marcus, you said that Mr. Taylor was never actually consulted on the plea agreement, and that you suspect we were unaware of pertinent evidence in the case?"

"That's correct."

Geller turned to Justin. "Well, Mr. Taylor, I know for a fact that my office contacted your parents, as you were hospitalized at the time. That's generally the procedure, to speak with the next-of-kin."

Surprised, and getting angry, Justin responded, "As I am a legal adult and was entirely aware and competent at the time surrounding the sentencing, I don't think that was very appropriate. Not to mention that if it was my father you spoke to, he's disowned me. Any opinion on the plea agreement that he gave would have been in his own interests, not mine." Justin was sure Craig would want to avoid publicity as much as possible. No need for the whole of Pittsburgh to know that he had a gay son, after all.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Justin." In Justin's opinion, he didn't sound all that apologetic. Geller sighed. "I'm certain that both of your parents were contacted. Your mother never spoke to you about it?"

"No," he whispered, "but she hasn't exactly been treating me like an autonomous adult lately, either."

"I see." With a casual shrug, Geller said, "I'm afraid that, while the victims of felonies have the right, in Pennsylvania, to express their opinions to the prosecution on any plea bargains put on the table, the state is not required to abide by victim wishes. I'm afraid there's no recourse on that point."

Justin nodded. "I understand. But is there something we can do considering that there were pieces of evidence that were never brought to your attention?"

Geller's look became a little haughty. "You can certainly tell me if there is something you think was missing, but I can assure you my office is always very thorough, Mr. Taylor."

"With all due respect, sir," Melanie interrupted, "it is my professional opinion that, had all the evidence been in the prosecution's hands, no plea bargain would have even been considered. A conviction would be all but guaranteed."

This made Geller perk up. "Do tell."

So Justin explained about the bullying, making particular mention the locker room fight, altercations in the hallways, and the locker fire. He also emphasized the fact that, even with the locker fire, his mother had had to approach the school about his being bullied. There had been serious damage to school property, and yet the administration had claimed to know nothing about what Justin had been going through.

Melanie reminded Justin (and therefore Geller) about the occasion where he was being harassed by Hobbs right in front of a teacher during class, and yet Justin was the one sent to the principal and suspended from school for two days.

Next, Justin mentioned that he'd had a minor sexual encounter with Hobbs earlier in the year. When Justin had announced that it had happened in front of dozens of people (including quite a few of Hobbs' friends from school), Hobbs had openly threatened him. That had been less than three weeks prior to the prom.

He also talked about the brief encounter that he'd had with Hobbs at the AIDS Hospice, where they'd assigned his community service.

"It's obvious that he doesn't have any remorse whatsoever for what he did to me. And lastly, there is the fact that Chris's date's parents rented a car for them to attend prom in. There was no reason for a baseball bat to be in that vehicle unless he planned ahead of time to attack someone with it."

Geller had taken notes through much of Justin's speech. "Yes, most of these things we were not aware of. Which is odd, as I spoke to several administrators at the school myself. They mentioned that the two of you did not get along, but none of these specific events were talked about."

Justin nodded. "I'm not surprised. Mr. Hobbs gives a significant amount of money to St. James. Their family have been students there for several generations, I think."

"Hmm, something else that was kept from me." Geller sighed, running a hand over his face. Justin was just noticing how stressed the man looked. He hadn't seemed very sympathetic before, but now it was obvious that the "new" evidence in front of him was swaying his opinion.

"Was Mr. Kinney aware of the bullying at your school?"

"Yes," Justin said. "Did... he not mention it?"

Geller shook his head. "No, but I didn't think to question him about your prior history with Mr. Hobbs. We spoke only of the night of the prom."

Justin's face crumpled in pain. "He's still dealing with a lot of misplaced guilt over that night. He probably couldn't focus on much else at the time."

Nodding, Geller jotted down a few more lines of notes for himself. "Alright. I'm going to start the process of revoking the plea agreement." He looked at Justin and Melanie with a serious expression. "It is likely that this will take months, at the least, to get on the docket."

"I just want him to pay the price for what he did to me. I'm probably going to have motor control issues in my dominant hand for the rest of my life. For an artist, that's particularly devastating. He shouldn't get to do a little mopping up and then move on with his life like he didn't nearly kill me that night."

* * *

When Justin and Melanie left the building, she turned to the blond. "I'm really proud of you, Justin. So much was taken from you that night, but you're fighting. You're a fucking inspiration, you know that?"

Smiling slightly, Justin responded, "I don't think I'd be strong enough to do it on my own. Brian's been amazing. And you and the rest of the gang have been really supportive, too." He pulled her into a hug. "I really appreciate you guys being here for me."

"Oh, baby," Mel sighed. She pulled back and smiled at him, chucking him lightly in the chin. "You're an important part of this family."

"Thanks," he whispered, a sunshiny smile on his face.

* * *

The following Friday was the college party that Daphne had invited him to.

And his major fuck-up.

Justin wasn't at all surprised that Brian had figured it out. He was sure his kiss had been too hesitant. It was a dead give-away.

As usual for a Saturday afternoon, Brian headed off to the gym with the guys. As soon as he left the loft, Justin called Daphne in a panic.

"Geez, Jus," Daphne sighed. "What the hell?"

"I _know_! It was so stupid! And it wasn't even worth it! Fuck, Daphne, I really hurt him." His voice going incredibly quiet, he asked plaintively, "What do I do?"

"Well, the worst thing you can do is not talk to him about it."

Justin rolled his eyes. "Duh. But what do I say? I can't ask him to forgive me. I don't deserve to be forgiven."

Daph heaved a heavy sigh. "My god, you're _such_ a drama queen! Just tell him what you told me. If he knows what you were thinking in the moment, and that you'll be on guard for that mood the next time around, everything will work out fine."

They talked a little while longer, Daphne giving encouragement and assuring Justin that Brian loved him, so they'd be able to work through it.

When Brian came home that evening, Justin would be ready to face the music.

* * *

Brian slid back the door to the loft, really worried about what the atmosphere was going to be like. He'd been panicking all day that Justin would figure out that someone his own age was better for him.

What if Justin left?

_Fuck, don't **think** like that. He won't._

_He **can't**._

Justin was on the couch, facing the loft door. "Hey. Come sit with me."

All Brian could think was _oh fuck, here it comes._

But as soon as Brian sat down, Justin sidled up to him and gave him a deep kiss. That was comforting. Then Justin moved to sit between Brian's legs, his back to the taller man's chest. It was their "serious talk" pose.

"I know you like to say 'sorry's bullshit,'" Justin began. "But if you actually mean that you regret what you did, then it isn't bullshit. I shouldn't have done it. As soon as I did, I was kicking myself over it." Justin snuggled back into Brian's chest. "And I'm sorry that I hurt you. It was shitty of me."

Brian didn't say anything, but he buried his nose in Justin's hair. The blond took that as permission to continue.

"There's no excuse. At _all_. But I'd like to explain what happened, if that's okay." When Justin felt the other man's nod, he went on. "We'd just finished. He asked me about my first time. So of course, as I was telling him the story, I couldn't help but remember how amazing and special you'd made that night for me, even if you weren't doing it on purpose.

"He mentioned how awful the straight parties are, and I asked him why he never went out to the clubs." Justin shrugged. "His answer sounded like... well, like me, before you corrupted me." He turned to smirk at Brian to let him know he was teasing.

Then Justin's gaze and tone got serious again. "He said he doesn't want to meet a lot of guys, that he just wants to meet one." Justin shrugged. "That's exactly what I wanted. I guess I was feeling a little cynical.

"Brian, as much fun as it is to have anonymous sex, every time I do, I'm thinking about how much better it would be with you. I had just taken this kid's virginity, and he was so fucking optimistic and romantic when he talked about finding someone... and I'd spent the entire time fucking him thinking about you." He shrugged uncomfortably. "I felt guilty for taking his virginity and not giving anything back. Without even thinking, I kissed him."

Head dropping to his hands, Justin murmured, "Which just made everything worse, because the kiss was a lie, anyway. I did it to make him feel better, but now I feel like shit, and it was wrong of me to give that to him when"—Justin looked up at Brian again, tears gathering in his eyes—"there's no way that anybody could ever compete with you."

Brian was still wrapping his head around what Justin had told him when the blond burrowed himself into his arms. Justin's head was tucked under Brian's chin. The brunet absentmindedly brushed his fingers through blonde hair, thinking about what he should say in response.

Finally, he spoke up. "I get why you did it. It was still breaking a rule," Brian added firmly, "but I get it."

With a sigh, Brian asked, "Justin, if you don't like tricking, then why do you do it?"

He drew back to look Brian in the eye. "Because... you... do?"

"That's fucking stupid," he answered softly. "Just because someone else does it doesn't mean you have to. I... I never meant to make you feel like you had to have anonymous sex just because I do. That's _your_ decision to make, not mine."

They were both quiet for a moment, thinking over what had been said. Eventually, Brian suggested, "You should take a few months to experiment with it. You know, really think about how you feel when you're tricking, whether it's something you want to do, and if so, how often. Really, Sunshine, there's enough shit in life that we can't control. You shouldn't give up what little say you have in your own happiness."

Justin nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. "Okay. I'll think about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that ending doesn't seem OOC. I really think this should have come up in the show. It's always been obvious (to me, at least) that Justin doesn't get as much out of tricking as Brian does (for obvious reasons; their psyches are completely different). But the show never addressed the idea that they don't have to _both_ be either open or monogamous. Each is his own person, and they shouldn't have to live their lives exactly the same way. Anyway, I'd love to hear what you think!


	16. S2 E9: Brian and Justin, Brian and Joan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts with an extra scene, since we've got some additional storylines now. There's also a fix-it of the scenes with Joan, when she finds out Brian is gay and then later at the church when Brian planned to out her minister.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is E.

A few weeks went by, and Justin had done just what he'd told Brian he would do:  really think about whether or not he truly enjoyed casual sex, and under what circumstances. While he knew that his thoughts and feelings on the subject could certainly change, he was fairly sure what he needed just then.

"Brian," he murmured after they'd finished a marathon fuck one night. "I'm pretty sure I've got it figured out."

"Hmm, got what figured out?" he asked sleepily.

Justin turned to face him, trailing his fingers over Brian's neck and shoulder. "The tricking."

That got Brian's attention. He held Justin's gaze and waited patiently for the blond to explain.

With a sigh, Justin began. "I don't really get much out of it alone. Honestly, the couple of times we've had phone sex are better than ninety percent of the times I've had a trick by myself." He smiled brightly. "I definitely enjoy it more when we pick someone—or some _ones_ —together. But I don't think we need to increase the frequency of that. Once every couple of weeks is enough for me, I think."

"You're sure?" Brian asked. He wasn't skeptical; he simply wanted Justin to be certain about what he wanted.

"Yes," he answered decisively.

"Alright. So what're you going to do?"

Justin shrugged one shoulder. "I'm going to remember that I'd honestly rather save my energy for you, rather than go pick a guy just because I think I 'should,' or because _you_ would. If I actually _want_ someone, I won't stop myself. But I honestly think that isn't going to be very frequent."

Brian huffed a short laugh. "I don't really get it, but as long as you're making yourself happy. That's the important thing."

"I know," Justin said with a loving smile. "And I promise that if anything changes, I'll let you know, okay?"

"Yeah." Brian smiled. "Okay."

* * *

That Friday, they had another "date night" together at the baths.

Justin had a huge smile on his face the whole way home, his hand resting on Brian's thigh as they headed back to the loft in the Jeep.

* * *

_God_ , Justin thought as Brian gave him some time to recover between rounds, _this has been a fucking ridiculous couple of weeks. I decide I'm_ _not going to trick just for the sake of tricking, Brian somehow manages to fuck his mother's minister at the baths, and now I get the **brilliant** idea for him to try Viagra? My ass is gonna be **so fucking sore**._

_Not that I'm complaining._

"Earth to Sunshine," Brian taunted with a smirk. "Ready to go again?"

Before Justin could answer, Brian had nestled himself between the blond's legs, rolled on a fresh condom, and sunk balls deep into Justin's ass.

"Oh, _god_...!"

"No, Brian," the man in question insisted with a laugh.

Justin tried to laugh back, but it quickly devolved into a moan as the head of Brian's cock brushed over his prostate. When he saw Brian's smug smirk, Justin clenched down on him, pulling a deep groan of satisfaction from the man above him.

"What's wrong, Mr. Kinney?" Justin teased, though it lost some of its effect, seeing how his voice was so breathless. "All tired out? About to lose yourself already?"

With a particularly strong and well-aimed thrust, though, Brian got back at the twink. "I'll show you 'tired out.'"

And he did. They'd already gone two rounds since Brian had taken the little blue pill when Justin had teased Brian about his stamina. They were in the midst of their fourth when Justin finally panted out, feeling _exhausted_ and loving every moment, "I can't... believe... you're fucking... me... _again_!"

"Well," Brian answered, nearly as wrung-out, "it was _your_... idea... to steal... Ted's... Viagra."

A moment later, they collapsed together.

And then the knock came.

Justin had disappeared into the bathroom to clean himself up a bit while Brian greeted whoever had been at the door. With the bathroom door closed, he hadn't been able to make out the voice, so he wasn't sure who had intruded, but he assumed by the quiet when he opened the bathroom door that they'd gone.

Wrong.

Joan didn't even acknowledge Brian's introduction or Justin's greeting before she fairly ran to the elevator. Justin lingered near the kitchen counter while Brian followed his mom as far as the loft door. He was close enough now that, without a barrier in between and since he was truly listening this time, he could hear every word.

"Mom?" Brian's voice was timid, and it broke Justin's heart to hear it. "What, you're not gonna talk to me?"

"Thank God your father didn't know," Joan answered.

Justin flinched.

"He did."

There were no words, but Justin could only imagine the look that must have been on Joan's face. Brian continued, "I told him, before he died."

After a few moments of quiet, she asked, "What about your sister?"

Justin knew that Claire knew Brian was gay. _Shit, this is just getting fucking worse by the second_. Justin saw Brian shrug, but he didn't answer verbally.

"So, you told everyone but me.... I hope you know it's a sin."

"What?" Brian asked, getting belligerent, and Justin cringed again. "That I fuck guys, or that I didn't tell you?"

"You can make all the jokes you want," she shot back, her voice smooth. "The Bible makes it clear. You're going to hell."

Oh, if that woman wasn't Brian's mother, she would have gotten an earful from Justin, right then and there. But this was Brian's battle to fight. Justin would just be there to help heal the wounds that the woman left behind.

As soon as the elevator had lowered her out of sight, Brian closed the loft door, turned, and leaned his back against it, his head in his hands.

Justin approached him quickly, gently wrapping his arms around the brunet. After a few moments of quiet, Justin moved his mouth to Brian's ear.

"She's wrong, you know," he whispered, gently caressing Brian's shoulders. "If her definition of hell includes all the gays, then her hell would be my heaven. Because 'hell' for me would be a world without you in it."

Brian snorted. "You're such a ridiculous sap."

Pulling back, Justin smiled. "Yeah, and you love me anyway."

"Twat," Brian accused, giving an eye roll for emphasis.

* * *

When Brian met his mother at her church later on with the intent of outing her minister, he still had mixed feelings about what he was about to do. On the one hand, he could admit to himself that she deserved it—that it might even do her some good to realize that even her god sometimes made poor choices, messed up. (If, indeed, humans were never supposed to be attracted to the same sex, then he'd fucked up big time.)

But at the same time, it wouldn't do anything to repair the laughably poor shit they could call a mother/son relationship. Nothing he could do or say would _make_ her appreciate him for who he was. No one could make her realize how much she'd fucked up as a parent. If that was going to change, she'd have to do it herself.

Outing Reverend Tom would only have one outcome that was absolutely certain:  it would make her miserable.

So when she told him that it wasn't the Reverend who had her total faith, but rather her god, he knew he couldn't say anything. It would change nothing to do otherwise.

"God will never let me down. Who can you say that about?"

For a moment, Brian thought about not answering. But then he remembered everything that Joan had said to him over the last few weeks in comparison to how Justin was with him, and he refused to sit in silence while his mother verbally abused him. That's how he'd dealt with it all his life.

But he didn't have to put up with it. He wouldn't.

"Justin," he said softly. "Justin will never let me down."

Joan scoffed, about to retort, but Brian cut her off. "He's the only person I've ever known that will admit that he fucked up and then do something to fix it. He doesn't let anyone get away with treating him like shit." He laughed softly. "He doesn't let anyone get away with treating _anyone_ like shit, even me.

"You say that God will never let you down. Well, he didn't give you or your kids any recourse from an abusive husband, did he? You married him, he turned into a fucking asshole"—he ignored his mother's berating of his language—"and you had to stay married to him or suffer God's wrath for the shamed and divorced. That doesn't sound like being 'let down' to you?

"Sounds like the same kind of asshole that my father was, to me:  a man who can't admit he's not perfect, and who punishes people who don't deserve it just so he can prove to himself how powerful he is."

And with that parting shot, Brian left the church.

He went home to someone far more perfect than any god he'd heard of could ever hope to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies if what Brian said about god offended anyone. That wasn't my intention. This is something I think he and I have in common: serious personal issues with organized religion in general. I don't have anything against religious _individuals_ or their personal beliefs, however. (I'm not sure I can speak for Brian on that point, though :)
> 
> This chapter kicked my ass (sorry about having another delay, but I'd rather have it be late and well-written), largely because of that last scene. I kept trying to find a balance that fit "my Brian," who is somewhere between canon S2-Brian and where I hope to have "my Brian" by the end of my story. I hope I succeeded. Is Brian progressing too fast? Please let me know what you think.
> 
> (By the way, there's no way this will be done in 30 chapters, so I'm probably going to do a _May Flowers_ sequel when this one is done.)


	17. S2 E11: Brian and Lindsey, Brian and Justin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I _**hate**_ the way Lindsey treats Brian when he tries to give her his Miami tickets for a wedding gift. So I fixed it.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

Brian walked into the room where the brides were getting ready, Debbie about to set in on Melanie's hair. When Mel looked up into the mirror, she yelled, "Hey, _Brian!_ " in a scandalized voice, jumping up and tying her robe more tightly around her waist.

Lindsey stood too, about to complain as well.

Debbie put her hands on her hips. "Brian—"

But he broke her off. " _I_ 'm the one that should be screaming." He gave a little smirk at the end.

"Aren't you supposed to be off somewhere, sticking your _piña_ in some _colada_?" Deb asked.

"I need a few minutes with the brides," he said seriously. "Alone."

When the girls gave a nod of assent, Deb left, saying, "Make it fast, will ya? I gotta get 'em dressed."

Mel gave Brian a tentative smile. "I hear you're the one responsible for this." She was so grateful that Brian had taken her words and concerns seriously. She never would have believed it:  Brian Kinney, willing to do whatever it took so that his friend could get _married_. Whatever had gotten into him, Mel was more thankful than she could possibly say.

"I dunno what lying asshole told you that," Brian said, unable to totally keep the smile off his face, "but I suppose a man in my position has to endure such attacks against his character. Here." He tossed the ring box to Lindsey.

"Oh, my god, Brian," Lindsey whispered.

"They're _exactly_ like the ones our jewelers lost," said Mel, amazed.

"Complete with the inscription!" Lindsey ran to Brian and gave him a loud kiss on his cheek.

Brian pushed her back slightly. "Don't get moist," he groused, but no one paid him any attention.

The girls exchanged some utterly obvious silent communication, and Mel excused herself to give the friends a moment alone. Lindsey went behind the screen to get dressed. "I can't believe the guys pulled all this together at the last minute. So, are you packed?"

Brian stayed quiet for a moment. While Lindsey pulled the dress over her head, he answered, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that."

"What about? Oh, will you help me button this up?"

"Yeah," he said lowly.

"Isn't it amazing? Debbie just 'whipped it up.'" As Brian did up the buttons, she cleared her throat and asked, "What did you want to talk about?"

Brian stepped back and pulled his trip tickets from his jacket pocket. "I want you and Melanie to have my tickets. As a wedding gift."

Lindsey was frozen in shock for a moment. "...What?"

"Everything's paid for, it's a trip for two. Exchange the tickets for a later flight, and boom! Instant honeymoon. Justin and I can look after Gus for the rest of the weekend."

Finally, Lindsey collected herself. "No, Brian! I won't have you giving up the White Party just to come to my wedding! You said yourself, you don't even want to be here. You'd just get drunk, make a scene, _pass out nude_."

"Will you just take the fucking tickets?"

"No!" She leaned in. "I want you to go. Have fun. Enjoy yourself, like I know you never would here, mourning the loss of another couple of queers to the 'ranks of the pseudo-heterosexuals.' Go fuck lots of beautiful men, Brian."

Brian turned to walk out of the room, but he stopped before he reached the door. "You know, fuck you, Lindsey."

She gave him a shocked look. "What?!"

"You supposedly know me so well. How about the fact that I never do anything I don't want to do?" He shook his head. "Why can't you accept the fact that I might want to be here for you? And anyway, it's a trip for _two_. I was excited about going because I wanted to take Justin, to give him that experience. I've been there, done that. Several times over, in fact. But he's going to be _here_. Even if he hasn't said as much to me yet, I know he won't go. So if you don't want the fucking tickets, fine. And if you don't want me here, I won't stay. But don't put my not being here on me. You're the only one in this room who actually wants me to go to Miami instead."

And he walked out the door.

* * *

Lindsey sat and thought for a while on what Brian had said. It was true—Brian wouldn't have offered her the tickets if he wasn't serious.

Brian was changing. And she wasn't altogether sure if she liked those changes.

But he was still her closest friend, and he didn't deserve to think she didn't want him there, so she rushed out of the room.

Justin was just telling Brian that he couldn't go with—well, Brian certainly knew that boy well—when Lindsey caught up with the man.

"Brian," she said, her voice soft. "I'm sorry. That wasn't what I meant at all. I _do_ want you here... if you'll stay."

His expression gave nothing away, but Brian nodded. "Shall I call the airlines, arrange for a later flight?"

She smiled at him. "Sure. And... you're sure that you can take care of Gus?"

"Justin and I can handle it," he said with a roll of his eyes. "I thought we'd covered that already."

"Right," she said tightly. "If you'd call them for us, that'd be great. I'd better let Mel know. Excuse me."

* * *

During the reception, Justin convinced Brian to dance one slow dance to a Kinney-approved no-bullshit song. When "Nothin' On but the Radio" by Gary Allen came on, Justin dragged his boyfriend ( _That's what he is, damn it!_ ) to the floor.

A few steps into the song, Justin asked, "What did Lindsey mean, saying that she hadn't meant that she didn't want you here?"

"I offered her the Miami trip as a wedding present." He shrugged. "A short _honeymoon_ ," he said with disdain. "But she told me she knew I didn't want to be here, and that I should go and fuck my brains out like I'd rather be doing."

"What?" Justin asked flatly.

Brian shook his head with a scoff. "I reminded her that I never do anything I don't want to do." His lips twitched into a shy smile. "And I told her that the point was to take you, let you have that new experience. But I knew you'd want to stay, so there was no point in going, anyway. I guess it took a while for what I said to sink in."

They were quiet for a while. When the song was coming to an end, Justin leaned in to give Brian a soft kiss. "For people who claim to be your friends, they really don't know you very well, do they?"

Brian didn't offer a confirmation, but then, Justin didn't really need to hear one.


	18. S2 E12: Brian and Michael, Michael and Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the show, Brian goes to the comic store to confront Michael about his hissy fit over Ben and Brian having had sex. I've always hated this scene because nothing is resolved—the subject of Michael's obsession with Brian comes up, but nothing more is really done with it. This is how I'd right that wrong.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, my apologies for the ridiculously long wait. I've finally admitted to myself that I just can't post a story as I write it. In the future, I won't start posting a story until it's fully written. (To that end, I have this one nearly finished and will soon be starting on the sequel. Hopefully by the time the rest of this work is posted, I'll be done with and ready to post the _May Flowers_ 'fix-it's, too—even though it'll be in October. *sigh* Sorry, guys.)
> 
> As to choosing this scene, I think this particular fuck-up on the parts of the writers really affected the rest of the show. The unresolved issues of Mikey's unrequited love for Brian are largely responsible for the hatred so many fans have of Michael. After this point, his character arc starts looking more like a sine wave rather than a slowly sloping line. (For any readers who aren't math nerds, look up a few graphs online and you'll get what I mean.) And as much as I don't like the version of Michael present in seasons 3 through 5, his character had a lot of potential before that. The writers could have made him really like-able by the end if he'd actually grown as a character at all.

“It was two years ago. Who the hell cares?” Brian asked, exasperated. Mikey was flipping out over this, and though he didn’t want to admit it, Brian knew exactly what about this situation was bothering his friend the most. “ _I_ don’t. _He_ doesn’t. Why do you?”

It didn’t really sound like a question, even if it was phrased that way.

“Because he’s my boyfriend,” Michael said softly. Petulantly, he added, “And you’re my friend.”

 _Well_ , Brian thought, _it needs to be said. If he’s not gonna own up, I guess I’ll have to do it for him_.

“Somebody’s _jea-lous_ ,” he sang, drawing out the word. “But... are you jealous because I did it with him... or because he did it with me?”

Michael was able to stop himself from making a face, but he couldn't keep his shoulders from tensing up. Not that Brian needed to see that to know he was right.

Brian sighed. “Is it really _that_ big a fucking deal, Mikey?”

Squaring his shoulders, Michael said, “Yes! It _is_ that big a deal!”

“That you haven’t had sex with me, I mean.”

Michael looked startled. “What?”

Raising an eyebrow, Brian asked seriously, “Is it that big of a deal for you that we haven’t fucked?”

He spluttered for a minute, but eventually Michael took a deep breath and answered just as seriously. “It’s just... it’s stupid.”

“Come on, Mikey. We should talk about this. It’s about time we did, don’t you think?”

Michael was thrown. “ _You_ want to talk? About feelings and shit?”

Uncomfortably shrugging his shoulders, Brian averted his eyes. “I might have been reminded recently that refusing to address a problem doesn’t make it disappear, it makes the problem worse.” Brian managed to look back at Michael. “I’d say we’ve pretty much proven that rule, don’t you think?”

Both men were quiet for a time. Eventually, Michael answered, his voice soft and tentative. “We’ve always been best friends, ever since we met in high school. And, well... you probably haven’t heard it before because you avoid most weddings on principle, and you wouldn’t be caught dead watching a ‘hetero lie on film,’ as you like to call them. But... most people getting married call their partner their best friend. And like Ted told me once:  for most people, sex isn’t something you share only with complete strangers, it’s something you share with people you care about, people you love. I guess... I always just expected that was where we were headed....” Michael’s voice trailed off a bit at the end.

Brian rubbed a hand over his face. _Now he’s said it,_ he thought. _So how do I deal with it?_

After taking a minute to think, Brian turned back to Michael. “You _are_ my best friend, Michael. And I do love you; always have, always will. But did it ever occur to you that, if something was going to happen between us, it would have happened by now? We’ve been friends for more than half of our lives at this point. Even _I_ wouldn't have been able to keep from saying or doing something by now, if I felt that way about you.”

“I just... thought you weren’t ready,” Michael mumbled.

“Well,” Brian conceded, “I wasn’t ‘ready’ to have any kind of relationship— _god_ , I hate that word—but that is a completely separate issue. If I was in love with you but just didn’t want to commit, I still would have done something, said something.”

“But you _did_!” Michael shouted in protest. “You kiss me all the time, you only use the word ‘love’ with me, you talk about us being ‘two old queens’ together someday! How was I supposed to take that if not romantically, Brian?”

Brian ran a hand through his hair in agitation. He knew he had never been very fair to Michael on that front. “Let me put it this way, Michael:  you know how much I care about you. You know that I’d do anything I could to make sure you’re happy. And I’ve known how you felt about me since the aborted hand-job over Patrick Swayze. If I could have _honestly_ said that I had any romantic interest in you, don't you think I would have told you? Knowing how happy it would make you?”

Michael had a stunned look on his face. “You’ve known that long?”

“Christ, Michael,” Brian sighed. “Why do you think I never initiated anything again after that? I figured out that it would have meant a lot more to you than it would have to me, and I didn't want to hurt you.”

His face still showing his surprise, Michael sank down onto the stool behind the counter. “I... I don’t know what to say,” he whispered. After a few moments, he asked, “You’ve really known since we were fourteen?”

Brian nodded. “You’re terrible at keeping secrets, Michael. You always have been.”

“I was sure that by the end of your first year of college, you knew, but since ninth grade...?”

It was quiet for a time, Brian allowing Michael to process everything. Nearly five minutes had gone by before Michael spoke up again. His voice was soft as he said, “I love Ben. And I’m jealous that you had sex with him as much as I’m jealous that.... Yeah. I just... I think I need some time.”

“Sure thing, Mikey.” Brian pushed off from where he was leaning against the wall and made his way to the door. “I should have talked to you about this long before now, Michael. I hurt you worse by ignoring it, and I’m sorry.”

The door quietly chimed as Brian walked out of the shop.

* * *

Ben was sitting at Michael and Emmett's kitchen table when Michael, with a spacey look on his face, finally came in that night.

"Michael?" he asked softly as the shorter man dropped into the seat next to him. "What's wrong, babe?"

With a sigh, Michael turned to Ben. "Brian came to see me at the store tonight."

Ben nodded slowly. "What did you guys talk about?"

Looking a little guilty, Michael told Ben what Brian had said to him. When he finished, he couldn't look his boyfriend—his  _boyfriend_ , for god's sake, what the hell was  _wrong_ with him?—in the eye.

After a few moments of silence, Ben asked, "What do you want, Michael?"

"I... I'm not..." He sighed, frustrated. Forcing himself to look up at Ben, he tried again. "I love you, Ben. I want to be with you. Brian... I love him, too." It had taken a lot of courage to admit that, but Michael was glad he'd said it. "But after tonight... it's not like I can keep thinking something could happen between him and me. I guess what I want is to not be in love with him anymore." Michael dropped his head. He was a terrible boyfriend, sitting here mourning the loss of a love he never could have had to the man he was in a relationship with. It was too much; a sob escaped him despite his efforts to hold it back.

Ben put his arms around Michael and pulled him close, keeping a tight hold. "Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. We can't decide who we love." He kissed Michael on the top of his head. "But for the record, I love you, too. And I'm so happy to know that you want to be with me." Ben rubbed his hand up and down Michael's back for a long time, just holding him while the younger man pulled himself together. "There's nothing wrong with having feelings for more than one person at a time, Michael. We both had lives before we met, people we were with, people we loved. The feelings we have for people are separate from our relationships with them. Sometimes the feelings last much longer, and that's okay." He huffed a short laugh. "In fact, I'm glad that it's out in the open now. I much prefer us being completely honest with each other."

"So... you're not mad at me?" Michael asked, his face still buried in Ben's chest.

"No," he whispered back, a smile on his face. "I most definitely am _not_ mad at you. Or Brian, for that matter."

Smiling, Michael pulled back. "What did I do to deserve you?" His brow scrunched up as he asked, "And you're really okay with... everything?"

"Yes," he assured, running his hand through Michael's hair. "You love me. You're here. That's the important thing. And I love you; when you love someone, you don't get to pick and choose what parts of them to keep. I'm sure there're things about me that you accept even if they aren't your ideal, because the parts are less important than the whole. It's the same with every kind of relationship:  family, friends, coworkers, even strangers you only meet for a quick moment. We're human, so there are good and bad things about all of us." Ben smiled. "And ask two different people about the same person, and the one person's list of positives might be exactly the same as the other's list of negatives. It's why life can get so complicated. Dealing with people is difficult."

Michael laid his head on Ben's shoulder. "You're so... I dunno,  _wise_. And  _patient_. How do you do it?"

"I have to remind myself frequently that my perspective on things isn't the only one, and certainly not the only one that matters. Some days it's harder than others."

Yes, Michael could see that. He wondered to himself what kind of day this one was. He hoped, for Ben's sake, that it was as easy as the man was making it look, though he doubted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have agonized so much over this chapter. As I said in the note at the top, this is a pivotal moment in the show, and I didn't want to screw it up. I hope I've done the characters justice. Please let me know what you think!


	19. Interlude:  The Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The holiday season often gets completely skipped over in the show, and I feel like there needs to be some fleshing out of what all is happening in the family during this time, so I'm adding in a chapter. It will cover Michael's birthday (which by my reckoning would most likely be in early-to-mid November; Michael says in one episode that his birthday is in March, but Ben and Justin are both Pisces [mid-February to mid-March] and Michael's birthday in season 1 is way before Justin's [thank you Cowlip for your inconsistent timeline]), Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's.
> 
> Also in this chapter: preparations for the appeal move along.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

Debbie planned to have a party for Michael's birthday at her home that year. It would just be a simple dinner, just the family.

Brian had told Justin all about his conversation with Michael. Justin, who couldn't be prouder of Brian for finally addressing the issue, tentatively asked if he wanted Justin to find out if Brian should stay away from the party.

"He did ask you for time," Justin reminded him softly. "I can talk to him, if you want."

Brian agreed.

* * *

Michael fiddled with a display on the counter at the comic store. Eventually, he sighed. "I want him there. Of course I do. I just...."

Justin nodded. "Is there anything I can do for you, Michael?"

Surprised, Michael looked up. "Why would you want to help me?"

"Because you're important to him, Michael," Justin said, his tone saying he would have thought that was obvious. "He's hurting because he knows that he hurt you, and it hurts _me_ to see _him_ in pain. Not to mention that you're family to me, too. I just want everyone to... to stop hurting."

For the first time, Michael thought he might understand what Brian saw in this kid.

After a long pause, Michael finally said, "Of course he can come. I miss him, too."

* * *

The birthday party went well, as did Thanksgiving. Brian and Michael were still more tentative around each other than they used to be, but things were improving. The entire family was happy to see them patching things up, especially considering how well things were going with Ben and Michael. No one had the courage to say it out loud, for fear of jinxing it, but most were tentatively hopeful that the Brian and Mikey Show would survive a romantic rejection (by now, every one of them knew what had happened—they were all gossips, nothing different could have been expected!) and come out all the stronger for it.

Oh, no one thought that their relationship would mend overnight. But there was a chance that everything would work out between them, and the family had their fingers metaphorically crossed.

Also on Thanksgiving, Justin visited his mother and sister. Although things with Jennifer were still a little strained, she was coming around to the idea of her son being an adult who could make his own life decisions.

On Justin's end, the biggest obstacle had been that his mother had signed off on a plea agreement without his consent. Her reasoning had been that she didn't want Justin to have to go through the pressure of dealing with the trial while he was still recovering. While Justin was angry at her for all the decisions she'd made on his behalf that she had no right to make—and he certainly made sure that she  _knew_ how upset he was over it—he could still appreciate that she had been thinking of Justin's welfare. At the end of their discussion that day, Justin had told Jennifer that she was in no way entitled to decide those things for him, and to please remember that he was her "grown-ass son and can make my own mistakes, thanks!"

After that, mother and son had started talking on the phone more frequently, and Jen was pleased to know that things with Brian were going well. This was really the crux of her concern for Justin. Brian was so much older, far more experienced, and by all accounts terribly promiscuous; how could he give Justin a fulfilling relationship? But Justin assured her that they were doing well, communicating better now and supporting one another, and she eased off. Her fears would never completely disappear—she was his mother, after all, and she loved him—but she could be polite.

And she was. Enough so that Justin felt secure in inviting Jennifer and Molly to Christmas dinner at Deb's.

* * *

Christmas, compared to Michael's birthday and Thanksgiving, did not go quite so smoothly.

Just as the finishing touches were being put on dinner and Lindsey and Emmett were finishing up setting the table, Melanie's cell phone went off. When she made to answer it, Lindsey hissed, "Mel! We're about to sit down to dinner! That can wait."

But Mel just shook her head. "It's the county prosecutor." She flipped open the cell phone. "Melanie Marcus."

" _Hello, Ms. Marcus. This is Mark Geller._ "

"Do you have news for me, Mr. Geller?"

Nearly the entire family was on tenderhooks. Justin and Brian were leaning close, trying to hear both sides of the conversation.

" _I do. My office finally received the security tapes from St. James Academy a few days ago. I asked a couple of interns to sort through it over the holidays, and I was just informed that there_ is _, in fact, footage of Mr. Hobbs, along with a few other students, getting into Mr. Taylor's locker. According to the intern who was examining that tape, they lit a rainbow-colored t-shirt on fire and left it in Mr. Taylor's locker._ " _  
_

"Fuckers," Brian whispered, pulling Justin into his arms. Debbie, who was also standing close enough to hear, started cussing too, though not as softly.

"I see," said Melanie, waving Debbie down. "Has there been any other progress made on the case?"

" _I'll be going down to the school once they reopen in the new year to speak to them about failing to report the vandalism and withholding evidence. They need to be held accountable for the part they played in Mr. Hobbs's attacks on Mr. Taylor. And first thing tomorrow, I'll be getting to work on getting a court date for the appeal. It probably won't be for a few months, but at least that will give us time to gather all the evidence that was glossed over last time._ "

Melanie's shoulders slumped in relief. "Thank you so much for your work on this, Mr. Geller. Is there anything that I can do for you in the meantime? Or Justin?"

There was a short pause. " _Now that you mention it, could you have Justin make a list of names for me? I'd like to know specifically which classmates of his he's certain were witnesses to the bullying and harassment that took place at the school. Have him include anyone—classmate or otherwise—who can corroborate either the school's negligence or the fact that Mr. Hobbs's assault on the night of the prom wasn't a one-time misjudgment._ "

Justin was already nodding by the time Geller finished, so Melanie relayed to him that Justin would make him a list. They signed off shortly thereafter.

"Well," Mel said happily, "looks like that fucker's going to get what's coming to him after all!"

"Woohoo!" Deb shouted, arms pumping into the air.

The family hugged and kissed and celebrated the news. Jennifer repeatedly whispered "Thank god," Emmett broke out some of his best celebratory dance moves, and Justin felt like his lungs would collapse soon from all the hugs.

Michael was a bit more subdued, but he gave an honest "Congratulations" to Justin. Lindsey, however, sat in a sulk halfway through dinner, not uttering a word while the rest of the table talked about increasingly ridiculous punishments they'd like to see imposed on Chris Hobbs.

"He should have to clean bedpans for the rest of his life," Emmett offered, his nose wrinkling in disgust.

Vic laughed and offered, "Or be a go-go boy at gay clubs every Saturday night."

"Ew," Justin said, "no one wants to see  _that_ , Vic!" The table laughed. "He'd make a hell of a drag queen, though," he added thoughtfully, to everyone's amusement.

"He should have to sing Tina Turner karaoke in front of all his straight-boy-jock buddies," Molly offered.

Justin gave her a surprised smile. "Molly! How did you come up with _that_?"

"Puh- _lease_ ," she whined. "I'm nine, not stupid."

"You know," Lindsey cut in, her voice sharp, "he really shouldn't have called today. It's Christmas, for heaven's sake! Those poor interns, missing out on the holiday! And did he have to completely derail our family time?"

The table went quiet for a moment. Finally, Debbie spoke up. "Lindsey, Christmas is a time to celebrate with family and friends.  _I_ certainly think that a dangerous, homophobic criminal getting what's coming to him is something to celebrate, don't you? Especially one that directly effected our family!"

"Linds," Mel said quietly, "you  _know_ that getting things done quickly with the courts is essential. He was right to call me today. We need to get this done so that asshole will be put behind bars sooner rather than later."

"Not to mention," Ted butted in, "he works for the city. He probably has a shit-ton of work constantly on his desk and has to take every opportunity to keep on top of things. It sucks to think about, but probably everyone in that office does at least a little work on holidays."

Without answering, Lindsey picked up her fork and forcefully dug into her slice of pumpkin pie. A moment later, talk around the table started up again, this time steering clear of all things related to Chris Hobbs.

* * *

On New Year's Eve, Babylon held a huge party, and of course the gang was all there. Around eleven, Emmett left the dance floor to hydrate and rest for a while, and he found Mel and Lindsey standing at the main bar.

"Hey, Em!" Mel greeted him enthusiastically. "Taking a break?"

"Yeah," he said, smiling, "the boys are all wearing. Me. Out!"

Mel laughed. A moment later, she turned to Lindsey. "Baby, I think I'm going to go dance with Teddy for a while. You'll be alright?"

Lindsey rolled her eyes with a small smile on her face. "I'm not a  _child_ , Mel. Go have fun." And with a kiss to her wife, Melanie did just that.

Once Emmett had his water, he looked over at Lindsey with a contemplative look. "Are you doing okay, sweetie? You've been... on edge lately."

"I'm fine," she said shortly. After a moment, she sighed. "That didn't really sound like 'fine,' did it?"

"No, not really." Emmett smiled sympathetically. "Want to talk about it?"

Lindsey shrugged, but after a moment, she asked, "Has Brian seemed different to you recently?"

Emmett's brow furrowed. "How do you mean?"

"He used to not be so confrontational as he has been."

Emmett gave her a dumbfounded look. "What do you mean, he didn't use to be confrontational? We  _are_ talking about the same person, aren't we?"

With a shake of her head, Lindsey clarified, "I mean on important things. I know he likes to disagree with people just to rile them up, but when things really matter... I don't know, he used to agree with me on things. It's different now."

 _Oh_ , Emmett thought,  _she's upset because she's always taken his side, right or wrong, and now he's not been taking hers_.

"I don't know what to tell you, sweetie," he said, "except that maybe you should talk to _him_ about it."

Lindsey contemplated that for a while. "With anyone else, I'd say that's exactly how I should handle it, but Brian doesn't like to  _talk about things_. It's one of his unwritten rules."

Emmett, though, knew that those rules didn't seem to be applying as much now as they used to. Brian was a little more open lately, though from what Justin had told Emmett, it was most noticeable when it was just between the two of them. Still... "You said he's been acting different. Maybe he's more willing to talk now, too." He shrugged lightly. "Can't hurt to try."

Eventually, she nodded. "That's true; the worse he can do is refuse to discuss it. Thanks for the advice, Emmett."

He gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Any time, honey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... I don't know about this chapter. I covered everything I want to cover, but... I don't know. I feel like it's not _fun_. What do you guys think? I'm pretty sure I don't like it as much because I didn't have an actual episode to fall back on for the summary parts. Let me know what you think; I might consider coming back later to adjust this chapter.


	20. S2 E13: Brian and Justin, Brian and Lindsey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to just put in a few small changes to Brian and Justin's discussion on the money problems Justin's going to face now that Craig is refusing to pay for PIFA, so I've put in a few of those scenes with minor additions.
> 
> Also in this chapter: Does anyone else think it's stupid that Brian agreed to play 'house' with Lindsey to try to get Gus into a preschool?
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

It was the morning after Justin had relayed his mother's message to Brian—Craig refused to continue to pay for Justin to get an art degree. Brian's immediate reaction had been, of course, to offer to pay for it himself. They had argued back and forth for a while the night before, until Justin had successfully distracted his boyfriend with sex.

Now, in the car the next morning on the way to PIFA, Brian brought the subject up again.

"I told you that I can pay for it myself," Justin insisted.

"With your secret Swiss bank account?"

Justin shot him a look. "I'll get another job. A real job, one that actually pays."

Brian huffed a laugh. "Yeah, what, making three, four hundred a week? Only working part time and without a degree?"

"So I will apply for a scholarship, or a loan."

With a confusedly amused look, Brian asked, "What're you gonna use for collateral? Your ass?" There was a short pause; there wasn't anything Justin could say to that. Finally, Brian sighed. "Jus, stop being such a twat. I'm just trying to help you."

"You've helped  _enough_. I practically owe you my fucking life."

"What d'you mean, practically?" Brian shot back. He smirked, but Justin could see in his eyes that Brian was uncomfortable with what he'd said. It was too soon to try to make a joke out of that.

To diffuse the tension, Justin said, "No, you're right. I do owe you my life. And for taking me in, and helping me recover—"

"You don't owe me shit," Brian cut in softly.

Justin nodded. He knew that Brian hadn't done any of that just to get something in return. He decided to get back to the matter at hand. "Brian, look:  _I don't want you to feel like you always have to take care of me_. And I don't wanna feel that way either."

Tired of arguing about it, Brian smiled and shook his head. "Fine! Then go ahead. But don't come crying to me when you succeed."

A broad, sunshiny smile crossed Justin's face, and Brian rolled his eyes a bit. With an exaggeratedly dreamy voice, Justin cooed, "I love that you'd do anything for me."

Brian grimaced, but not believably. "Who said it was for you? I made an investment; I want it to pay off."

With a smirk, Justin unzipped Brian's pants and leaned over. "Well... here's a dividend."

* * *

The next evening, Brian found Justin standing at the main bar at Babylon, sticking a dollar bill in a dancer's g-string. Brian grabbed out a dollar and handed it to Justin. "Shouldn't you be holding on to that?"

"Doesn't much matter since it's my last one."

Brian huffed. " _Le beau geste_ *. Sorely lacking in fiction since the nineteenth century French novel. How noble of you to revive it."

Justin tried to hold back, he really did, but he couldn't help a surprised chuckle at that. It was both funny and true, and also depressing. "Fuck off."

"Did you find a job?" Brian asked gently.

Justin shook his head. "I must have tried twenty restaurants. No one's hiring."

Already knowing what the answer would be, Brian asked, "What'd the financial aid office say?"

"My fucking father makes too much money," Justin fairly spat.  _The asshole_.

"Well, my offer still stands."

"So does my answer. I'm gonna do this on my own." Sighs. "Brian, I really appreciate you wanting to help me. But I don't want to constantly rely on your help. I'm an adult. I need to act like one."

Brian put an arm around the blond's shoulders. "It's not childish to accept help from someone who has the means and is offering, Justin."

Quietly, Justin gave the brunet a long, searching look, and eventually sighed. "Let me try a little longer. If I can't find a way by my birthday—that's seven weeks—then I'll consider it."

Brian bit his lip. He really didn't want to agree to wait that long, but he knew that Justin would be too stubborn about it. The young man had allowed this much; he'd take it. "Alright. But you can change your mind any time before then, too."

"Deal." Justin smiled and sealed the deal with a kiss.

Then a voice from above them interrupted. "Can you give me a hand?"

Both men reached up to help the dancer hop down from the bar. Brian couldn't resist another dig at Justin. "See?  _Some_  people know how to accept help."

He gave Brian a sour look, turned to the dancer, who was counting his tips, and smiled. "Looks like a good night."

The man shook his head. "This is nothin' compared to the weekend."

Justin perked up. "Really? 'Cause I've been looking for something, but... I mean, it really sucks out there."

The dancer laughed. "Why d'you think I'm doing this?" _  
_

"You know if they're looking for more dancers?"

 _Oh no_ , Brian couldn't help but think. He  _knew_ there was no way this was going to end well.

But he also knew that no amount of persuasion on his part was going to change Justin's mind. He'd have to figure it out on his own.  _Fucking shit!_

The dancer laughed humorlessly and said, "Gary's  _always_  looking."

As the man walked away, Brian gave Justin a sidelong look. He shook his head with an unpleasant smirk and walked off.

* * *

It was late that night, after Justin had persuaded Sapperstein to give him a job dancing at Babylon, and Lindsey and Mel were suddenly there, interrupting what Justin was certain would have otherwise been an exciting learning experience.

 _Fucking lesbians_ , he thought as they confronted Brian about something.

He paused a moment after that thought and shuddered internally.  _On second thought, **no**. No fucking lesbians, just annoying lesbians._  He forced himself to focus back on the conversation going on in the living area.

Lindsey was using her ‘persuade Brian’ voice. “You’ve always said that it’s not lying if they make you lie.”

Justin closed his eyes to keep the others in the room from seeing him roll them. That was one of Brian’s more annoying mantras (which was saying something, considering that every one of them was untrue).

“You want Gus to have the same advantages as kids who’ve got a mommy _and a daddy_ , don’t you?” she went on. “You want him to go to the best schools, receive the best education? Then you’ve _gotta_ help us make sure that, despite what other people might think of us, he’s not the one who suffers.” After a pause (Justin supposed it was for dramatic affect), she added, “So we found another school, and we have an appointment for tomorrow.”

Brian was quiet for a moment, thinking over what to say.

A month ago, Justin might have been really concerned about the choice Brian was about to make. But lately, his partner was getting better about asserting himself.

Oh, Brian had always been good about standing up to strangers, rivals, other professionals, and potential sex partners. But going against the wishes of people he considered to be family had always been especially difficult for Brian. Justin had learned over the last year and a half that this was because Brian loved his friends and family so deeply and wanted so badly to be loved and accepted in return (though, paradoxically, he had a great deal of trouble accepting that love).

After a few moments, Brian said, “Gus _does_ have a mommy and a daddy. And he’s got a momma, too. It’s not all that different from a kid with straight parents that are divorced and whose dad remarried. It’s not that big a deal.

“And anyway, Lindsey, do you really think you’ll approve of the _education_ Gus would get at a school that wouldn’t admit him because his parents are queer?”

While Justin silently cheered on his boyfriend, Brian stood up, took a swig of his beer, and brought his empty bottle to the kitchen. “The answer’s ‘no, you wouldn't.’ If a school has a problem with same-sex parents, then then that's not somewhere you'd want your child to attend. I don’t want Gus exposed to an environment that's going to teach him that his parents are deviants or perverts or whatever other fucking lie they'd use to excuse their prejudice, and I think if you’d stopped to think about this for a minute instead of freaking the fuck out, you’d have come to the same conclusion.”

Lindsey gaped like a fish for a moment (which Justin thoroughly enjoyed) before finding her voice. “Brian, what the hell? What has gotten _into_ you lately?”

Brian wrinkled his brow in confusion. Had he been so different recently? It didn’t feel like it. “What do you mean, Linds?”

“I _mean_ ,” she said in her finest WASP voice, coming closer and lowering her volume in an attempt to exclude Justin and Melanie from the conversation, “you’ve been far more confrontational the last several months. The first time I noticed was the weekend of the Leather Ball, and then again when you refused to give up your parental rights, but the instances have been becoming more frequent. And it isn’t just me that’s noticed. Michael told me a while back that you’d been acting strange around him, too. What’s going on?”

When he couldn't think of anything else to say, Brian shrugged and told her, "Fuck if I know."

* * *

The following day, Lindsey and Melanie went to the interview together. Gus was turned down again, but they were informed this time that Gus was the first on the waiting list and that another child with same-sex parents had received the slot above them.

The third school the girls interviewed at accepted Gus immediately.

Lindsey hated that Brian had been right.

* * *

When Justin asked Sapperstein how he could get to dance on the bar, he was more shocked than he thought he should be at the answer. Honestly, what did he expect? He hadn't needed Brian to tell him that the man was a sleaze; who could miss it? Justin shouldn't have been so surprised that the Sap would want to give blow jobs to pretty twinks in exchange for 'promotions.'

He almost turned around and walked out, on both the offer and his job.

As soon as he left the club, he kinda wished he had.

How was he going to face Brian?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * A gracious gesture noble in form but meaningless in substance. (In other words, Brian was essentially saying, "It's very noble of you to give the man your last dollar, but that one dollar isn't going to do him much good, so it's kind of pointless to give it to him.")
> 
> A note about this line of Brian's: I think they should have played up this aspect of Brian and Justin's relationship more than they did. They both are well-educated, well-read individuals with sophisticated tastes. That Brian could make that kind of joke and Justin could immediately understand the reference and find it funny even when it was at his own expense is something neither of them shares with any other characters on the show. It's one of the reasons I enjoy this pairing so much: they fit together amazingly well in nearly every area.
> 
> This is my favorite chapter so far. It was so gratifying to fix that scene with Lindsey. Because honestly, Brian would _never_ play straight. It was such a ridiculous OOC moment, I don't know what the writers were thinking.


	21. S2 E14: Brian and Justin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so we come to the pivotal episode of season 2: Justin's foray into exotic dancing. Justin is still a stubborn little shit, but this time around, Brian is a little better about how he approaches problems. Because of this, their conversations about Justin's job at Babylon are a little different.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost to the point in the show where the story needs to drastically change. That means either longer chapters or splitting episodes up into multiple chapters. One of the reasons this took me so long to post is that I couldn't get the chapter to feel right until I (finally) figured out that it needed to be broken up into two parts. (That, and I worked more than I expected to this week and had less time than I hoped for to write.)

"From High School senior to go-go boy in less than a year. It's gotta be a record." Michael took a swig of his water.

Emmett shook his head. "Honey, lots of kids start younger than he did."

"Yeah, if you don't have a choice!" Michael protested. "It's not like Justin doesn't have other options!"

"Brian can afford to keep them both," Ted added, agreeing with Michael. "Guess it's just another success story from Father Kinney's Home for Runaway Boys."

Emmett shook his head. "I doubt Brian had any say in the decision at all. Our Baby is very stubborn and independent."

Ted looked over at Justin, shaking his head. "If I were Brian, I'd go crazy seeing all those guys pawing my boyfriend."

 _Speak of the devil_ , Emmett thought with a grimace.  _He couldn't have come over at a worse moment._

To everyone's surprise (including Brian's), the man simply said, "What makes you think I'm not? Double shot of JB," he added to the bar tender.

When Michael had recovered from the shock at Brian casually accepting the term 'boyfriend' in relation to him, he said, "I'm not surprised you're upset. Everybody knows the only way you get to dance on the bar is if you let the boss blow you."

"Michael," Emmett reprimanded softly. "Leave it."

Brian downed his shot and watched Justin climb down off the bar, heading their way. He was greeted with a tired smile, which was lacking all traces of sunshine, and a kiss. Brian looked down at the cash in Justin's hand. "Quite a haul. Enough to put a child through school." His slightly sarcastic tone got a pinched look from Justin—or maybe that was a result of how much sleep he'd been missing out on lately.

"Shouldn't the  _child_ be at home," Michael whined pointedly, "in bed?"

"That's a good idea," Brian said.

Justin sighed and leaned his head on Brian's shoulder. "I can't," he said, trying to keep the exhaustion out of his voice. This was turning out to be so much more difficult than he'd thought it would be. He danced all the time anyway, so he'd thought, _This can't be much different, right?_ But when he didn't have Brian's body to drape himself over when he started to tire, when he couldn't take quick breaks whenever he wanted, when his  _paycheck_ depended on continuously moving his ass, everything was so much more exhausting. "I have to work till two," he added.

Emmett could see the pained look in Brian's eyes. Justin had kept Em informed on what was going on, why he'd decided to start shaking his tail for cash, and Em thought Justin was, frankly, being ridiculous. Wanting to help in any way he could, he sidled up to Sunshine and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "But sweetie, you already look  _exhausted_ , and it's only ten o'clock. How're you gonna keep it up?"

"Especially at home," Ted added, looking accusingly at Brian.

Justin bristled. "I can handle it. And stop looking at Brian like that, Ted. He didn't do anything wrong."

Ted only rolled his eyes. Justin ignored him, instead turning to Brian and leaning into him, giving and receiving an enthusiastic kiss.

Which the Sap, of course, interrupted.

When Justin had walked away, Brian saw the Sap give something to the blond, which he promptly snorted.

 _God_ , Brian thought,  _I really have to do something._ _But_ what _?_

Brian turned to Ted. "If you've got any ideas how to talk him out of this, Theodore, I'm all ears." Knowing that Ted would have nothing worthwhile to say to that, Brian walked away.

Emmett shot Teddy a look that very plainly said 'I told you so.'

* * *

A few day's later, at Emmett's 'goodbye' party at Teddy's house of porn, Justin could barely keep his eyes open.

Brian was at a complete loss. The more he pushed the issue, the more Justin settled himself firmly in the 'I can do this myself' camp. But it was becoming increasingly obvious that that wasn't the case. It had only been a month of this, and already the blond looked like he'd drop dead any minute.

Not knowing what else to say, Brian asked quietly, "Working tonight?"

"Mmm," he hummed. "Nine to two."

"You can hardly keep your head up, Justin," he continued, voice still low. His concern was obvious in his tone.

Justin leaned his head on Brian's shoulder. "I'll be alright."

"Sap'll see to that," Brian said, embarrassed to hear his voice catching. But  _god_ , he was so worried about Justin. What the hell was he supposed to do? But then inspiration struck. "If you don't want me to give you the money, I'll loan it to you," he offered. "When you graduate and get a real job, you can pay me back with interest."

"Brian," Justin sighed.

"How is that different than you going to a bank for a loan, except that I don't require collateral? Come on, Jus."

Justin ran a hand through his hair. "I'm trying to look after myself, for once, instead of always letting you do it for me." He paused a moment. "You told me once that you wanted me to become the best homosexual that I can be. Doesn't that include being a man?"

Brian kissed Justin and pulled him into his arms, Justin's back to his chest. He rested his cheek against soft, blonde hair and said, "Sometimes being a man means knowing when to accept help."

* * *

Justin was grateful that he'd been able to get the weekend off, but he was worried about this party that Sapperstein wanted him to go to instead. He knew what his boss was like; he handed out drugs like candy to his dancers, gave oral sex in exchange for 'promotions,' and probably was involved in lots of other shit that Justin had no desire to be a part of.

But he still didn't want to just give in and let Brian pay for his education.

It wasn't even that he didn't want Brian to help him. The part that bothered him was the way everyone still looked at him like he was Brian's boy-toy. He was his own person, goddammit. Perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

They were equal partners, and Justin wanted to prove that, to himself, to Brian, and to the rest of their weird little family.

When Justin told Brian about the after-hours party, Brian sighed. "The guy's a fucking sleaze, Jus."

Justin shrugged. "He's my boss, not a friend. I don't have to like him to work for him."

A moment later, when Brian offered him five thousand dollars for a twelve-by-fourteen inch print-out, Justin nearly lost it. "Would you fucking drop it already, Brian?"

Brian finally let out all the frustration, anger, and worry he'd been feeling. "No, I  _won't_ fucking drop it. You're wearing yourself out, Justin. You're so behind right now that you had to get the whole weekend off just so that you won't fail out of your classes!" He took a deep breath and added quietly, "I hate seeing you like this."

Tears threatened at Justin's eyes. He stood and flung himself into Brian's arms, so... so  _touched_ at Brian's concern for him that he couldn't even speak.

After a few minutes, Justin admitted why he was so hell-bent on doing this by himself.

Brian closed his eyes against the revelation. "Justin—"

"You  _know_ that's how everyone sees me, Brian."

He kissed Justin's forehead. "That's because you're still young, Sunshine. You and I are at completely different places in life, because I've had more time to get to where I am. I had to graduate college and suffer through crappy jobs that paid fuck-all, too, you know."

"Yeah," Justin allowed, leaning back, "but you got through college all on your own. Nobody helped you."

"The state did," Brian said bluntly. "My dad probably didn't make even a quarter of what your dad makes, and my mom never worked. I got scholarships and federal loans up the wazoo, and I made up the difference with summer jobs and a work-study job in the university library during the school year. You don't have those opportunities because your father is a rich asshole instead of a poor one."

A small smile tugged at the corner of Justin's mouth. Everything Brian had said was true, of course. _Why didn't I think of that before?_

Justin sighed. "I'll think about it over the weekend. By Monday, I'll have it figured out."

Brian definitely didn't like this plan. Any scenario where Justin went to this party would lead to no good, he was sure of it. But at least Justin was seriously considering quitting, and Brian had the feeling he'd definitely be done with dancing after the party tomorrow night. "Alright. I still think you should bail on the Sap now, but... it's your life, your decision," he conceded.

With a smile brighter than any he'd worn in weeks, Justin leaned into Brian and reveled in the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed around the "a man knows when to ask for help" lines because Justin never actually _asks_. The point is that Brian is offering, and Justin needs to learn to accept help from his partner. (Which is totally ironic considering that's exactly what Justin wants from Brian, but neither of them have made the connection yet.) Personally, I see accepting and asking for help as two separate issues, and accepting help that is offered is, I think, a lot easier than outright asking for help. Both issues will have to be dealt with on both their parts.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter; I know I'm pretty happy with how it turned out (now that I've spent hours tweaking it...).


	22. S2 E14: Justin, Brian and Ted and Michael, Brian and Justin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where things really start to veer off the path of the show. And it happens because smart choices are made that change a lot about where their lives go from here.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is E. ( **Spoilery warning:** discussions of off-screen rape [not of Justin] and attempted rape in this chapter.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure you read chapter 21; this one went up at the same time.

Justin walked into the Sap's place, already regretting coming here. There had been drugs at Babylon, of course, harder stuff than he and the guys ever did... but it had never been so out-in-the-open as this. He'd never felt out of place by not doing crystal or cocaine until he'd started dancing, and then it had been hard to say no to Sapperstein when the coke got shoved at him in the name of keeping him energized. And when Sapperstein had said "party," Justin expected people to be smiling, laughing, talking,  _having fun_. _  
_

This didn't look like fun.

This looked like oblivion.

And Gary's presence a minute later just made it worse.

Brian was right: the guy was a sleaze.

_Shit. What am I doing here?_

* * *

Ted was already a bit tipsy. "I mean, Michael's got Ben. You've got  _Justin_. Emmett has George, for Chrissake. Now how come everybody's got someone 'cept me?"

"The reason  _you_ don't have a boyfriend is because... you don't want one," Brian said softly. He'd been nursing his beer for almost an hour now. Although he'd love to join Ted in the land of the uninhibited... Justin could be in serious shit tonight, and he wanted to keep his head on straight.

He'd thought about going there and crashing the party, but he was worried that Justin would get his back up over being 'treated like a child,' and that would just make the whole situation worse. So instead, he was waiting for Justin to call and say, 'Come get me.'

"I don't?" Ted asked, bringing Brian's mind back to the present.

"If you had one," Brian explained, wondering if Alex Wilder had somehow infected him with his psychoanalysis shtick, "it would challenge the well-established opinion you have of yourself as a worthless sack of shit that nobody wants. Therefore, you go after guys you know will reject you, and you stand around here and bitch like a high school girl when in fact you've gotten exactly what you want. Namely: nothing."

Ted digested that for a moment. "Why, thank you, Dr. Kinney. You've saved me years of therapy, not to mention several thousand dollars."

Brian smiled. "My pleasure." He sighed and rubbed between his eyes. "I helped you with your problem, how about you help me with mine?"

"What problem," Ted scoffed. "Your life is perfect."

"What a crock of shit, Theodore," Brian spat. "Nobody's life is perfect. And in case you forgot, Justin is practically killing himself trying to pay for school all on his own. As we speak, he's at one of the Sap's  _parties_  in exchange for having the rest of the weekend off just so he can get enough schoolwork done that he doesn't flunk out."

"Oh,  _shit_ ," Ted whispered. "He went to Sapperstein's  _house_? Is he suicidal?"

Brian flinched. "I tried to talk him out of it. Hell, I told him I'd buy one of his pieces for five thousand dollars, and the fucker said no." He shook his head and closed his eyes against the threatening emotion.

It was quiet at their table for a minute, Ted digesting how obviously concerned Brian was. Maybe it was because Ted had declared his intention to get too drunk to remember things tonight, but Brian was definitely saying things Ted wouldn't have expected the man to even be _thinking_ , let alone things he'd be willing to admit to Ted, of all people. They sat in silent thought until Michael showed up a minute later.

"She  _hit_  me!" was the first thing out of his mouth. "My mother fucking hit me!"

Confused, Ted pointed out, "She's always hitting you."

"It's how she  _shows her affection_ ," Brian added cynically. He'd gotten enough of that kind of 'affection' when he was a kid. He'd always hated it that Deb liked to swat and slap the guys when she was upset with them, but there really wasn't anything he could do about it.

"I mean for real," Michael insisted.

Brian raised an eyebrow at him. _That's new._  "Well, what did Mikey do?"

Michael muttered, "I don't want to talk about it."

"If you don't want to talk about it," Brian asked with a roll of his eyes, "then why'd you bring it up?"

"To get some  _sympathy_ ," Michael complained loudly.

His voice shrewd, Brian said, "You don't want to tell us why. That says that you know you did something stupid." After a beat, he added quietly, "Though she shouldn't have hit you for it, whatever it was."

Ted raised his eyebrows. It wasn't often that Brian let on about how fucked-up his childhood had been. _Emmett's right, he's much more communicative lately_.

Ted only knew a little bit about Jack and Joan Kinney, even after nearly a decade of being friends with Brian. But Ted did know Brian well enough to know the man wouldn't want attention drawn to what he'd said. Instead, he changed the subject. "You're on fire tonight, Dr. Kinney."

Michael looked at Brian, completely shocked. "What the fuck, Brian?! Why're you taking her side? You don't even know what happened?"

"Then why don't you tell us, Michael," Teddy suggested. When Michael turned away, Ted sighed, lowered his head, and pointed over to Michael just as he started in again.

"I told her she was pathetic for dating that fag-hating cop!"

"Are we gonna have to take her honorary queer button away?" Ted asked.

"Are you  _sure_ ," Brian said knowingly, "that that's what you said? 'Pathetic' is usually my line."

Michael dropped into a seat. With a sigh, he dropped his head into his hands and admitted, "It might have been more along the lines of 'so you're so desperate that you'll date  _anyone_?'" _  
_

Ted's jaw dropped. "Jesus Christ, Michael! Even  _I_  might have slapped you for that, and I'm not the woman who raised you!"

Brian almost took advantage of that opening to say something along the lines of 'so which woman are you, then?' but decided to keep his mouth shut this time. There were more important problems.

Michael was still steaming. "Where are her values? Her  _principles_?"

"Same place they've always been," Brian interrupted. "People have prejudices because of ignorance. She's probably thinking that even if it doesn't go anywhere between them, at least she can show him that gay men and women are no different than straight people. It'll be one less bigot and one more ally in the world." Brian squeezed Michael's shoulder. "You should be proud of her and happy for her, Michael."

He picked up Brian's undrunk glass of Jim Beam. "I'd rather just get drunk."

* * *

An hour or so later, Brian and Ted were walking Michael up to his apartment. They'd had to park down a couple blocks since there were no closer parking spaces and Michael was in no shape to get up to his apartment on his own. He was basically falling-down drunk, still rambling about his mother dating someone who'd hate him.

"Afraid of the big bad step-dad, Mikey?"

"Shht the fck 'p, Brian."

"Wow, you can still say my name. I'm impressed."

"Go 'way," Michael shouted.

Ted, who had drunk much less over a longer period of time than Michael, was basically sober now, thanks to the cold night air. He flinched at the volume of Michael's voice and shushed him. "Michael, it's after midnight, keep your voice down!"

"NO!" he shouted, pulling away from his friends' hands. "I'S BULLSHIT! Sh's ALWAYS go'n ON an ON 'bou STANDIN UP t' BIGO... um... bigus... to BAD GUYS, an now sh's DATING ONES!"

"Oh, shit," Ted whispered. "That's a cop, isn't it? And he's heading this way. Shut the fuck up, Michael, before you get arrested."

But of course, Michael wouldn't shut up. If he'd quieted down, the officer probably would have let Brian and Teddy get him up to his apartment and not bothered them, but Michael latched on to the word 'cop' and wouldn't let go. He continually shouted as loud as he could, insulting law enforcement officers everywhere, and the one in front of him in particular.

It didn't take very long before the officer was arresting Michael under charges of disorderly conduct.

* * *

Brian and Ted followed the police cruiser to the station to find out what they could do for Michael. According to the arresting officer, Michael would have to stay in lock-up over night, but they could bail him out in the morning. Since there was nothing else to be done, Brian drove Ted home. As Ted was opening the door to his building, Brian's cell phone rang. It was now one thirty in the morning.

"Hey, Sunshine," he said nervously. "How's the party?"

There was a hitch in Justin's breath.

"Justin? Justin, what's wrong? Do you need me to come get you?"

"N-no," he said, and Brian wanted to punch something. But then Justin added, "I'm home already. Took a cab. Can... can you come home, please?"

Brian sighed in slight relief.  _At least I know he was okay enough to get home on his own_. "I just dropped Ted off. I'll be home in less than fifteen."

"Okay," Justin said, obviously relieved.

"Hang in there, Jus. I'll be there soon."

* * *

Brian ran up the stairs to the loft, not patient enough for the elevator. He threw back the door, calling Justin's name. He panicked for a minute when he couldn't see him anywhere in the apartment, but then he heard the shower running and bolted for the bathroom.

"Justin," Brian sighed, seeing the blond curled in a ball, sitting on the floor of the shower. Brian quickly stripped and joined him, wrapping his arms around him. The water was scalding, even for Brian, and Justin usually used cooler water when he was showering alone. "Jus, are you okay? Talk to me, please."

Justin turned his face into Brian's neck. "I'm... I'm okay. They didn't... but they tried to. Gary slipped me something, I thought it was just pot but then everything got... weird. There was a room... one of the dancers... a sling. They tried to put me in one, too, but I... I kicked Gary and slipped away from the other guys and got out. But Andrew... he... oh god, Brian...."

Brian closed his eyes, fighting back tears of worry and anger. He gently rubbed his hands up and down Justin's back as he continued talking. The blond obviously wanted to get it all out.

"Andrew was telling them to stop, but he was already too... he couldn't get away. And there were other young guys there, some that I didn't recognize." Justin sobbed for a while, and then he started babbling at high speed. "I should have listened to you, Brian, I knew it was a bad idea and I went there anyway and I almost... fuck, everything is a mess, you were right, I'm sorry, I'm so  _sorry_ —"

"Jus, it's over, alright? I've got you now, you're home safe, it's over. And you're never going back there. Everything's gonna be okay. I've got you."

They stayed on the floor of the shower until the water ran cold. When they got out, Brian carefully dried them both and moved them to bed. He held Justin until he fell asleep.

Once the soft, sniffling snores started, Brian moved to his desk and picked up the phone.

" _Information. How can I help you?_ "

"The number for the Pittsburgh police department that services South Aspen Boulevard, please."

* * *

The next morning, Justin woke in Brian's arms, a hand running gently through his hair.

"Morning, Sunshine," he whispered softly.

"Not feeling so sunshiny this morning," Justin answered. His head was pounding and he felt slightly queasy, though he suspected the latter was because he could remember what had happened the night before, not from any of the substances he'd been forced to consume.

Brian turned toward his bedside table and picked up a bottle of water. "Here, you need to stay hydrated."

Justin drank deeply. "Thanks."

"Anytime," Brian whispered. He pulled Justin back into his arms and asked softly, "You're sure no one...?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

There was a short pause before Brian admitted, "I called the cops on Sapperstein last night."

Justin sat up. "You  _what_?! Brian... he'll know it was me who told!"

Brian sat up too, taking Justin's hand in his. "No, he won't. When I called the station from my cell, I used star 67*. I told the police that I'd seen a couple young guys leaving the place in tears with their shirts ripped, practically falling all over the sidewalk, and that there had been a lot of noise and questionable-looking people there that night. Even the police don't know who was tipping them off. And it was a couple hours after you'd left. They won't have any idea."

Justin's shoulders slumped in relief. He didn't want to be suffering from his fuck-up last night for months to come; he just wanted it to be over. "What d'you think will happen to them?"

With a shrug, Brian said, "No idea. I don't think there's a punishment severe enough for the likes of them, personally, but I hope they at least get jail time."

The two of them had a quiet breakfast at the bar in the kitchen, Brian almost never letting go of Justin, wanting to reassure them both that they were together and safe.

After they ate, Justin turned to Brian. "I'd like to accept your offer. If it still stands."

"It still stands," Brian said, tongue in cheek as he looked down at his lap.

Justin rolled his eyes but smiled. The smile turned sad a moment later. "A man needs to know when to accept help."

Brian leaned over and kissed Justin's forehead.

"We'll need to discuss the terms of the loan," Justin went on adamantly. "Interest. Repayment schedule. And we should have it in writing."

"Alright."

Quietly, Brian stood and pulled Justin into the bedroom. When they were laying side by side, Brian raised an eyebrow. The blond bit his lip, considering whether he really felt up for this. When he'd decided, he rolled on top of Brian, snagged a condom, and rolled his boyfriend over onto his stomach. Brian gave him a surprised look for a moment, but then he understood.  _What the hell,_  he thought,  _it's been a while_.

Justin took lots of care preparing Brian. The man very rarely bottomed—their celebration of Justin's eighteenth birthday had been the last time—and Justin didn't want to cause him any pain.

When he was finally fully seated, Justin paused to give them both time to adjust. He sighed in Brian's ear, "Thank you for taking care of me, and letting me take care of you."

And then he moved.

Every sigh and moan that Brian made as Justin's cock brushed along his prostate made the blond smile. Brian was usually pretty quiet during sex, and the sounds he _did_ make were as tightly controlled as everything else the man did. But not when he had something in his ass. Justin was sure that was part of why he rarely bottomed—Brian's prostate was especially sensitive, and Justin knew that Brian thought of any loss of control as a sign of weakness.

Justin was honored that he was allowed to see the rare occasions that Brian let go. To show his appreciation, Justin let his hands roam, caressing Brian in every sensitive place. Lips kissed and sucked along Brian's neck and shoulders. Soft exclamations of "so good" and "fuck" and " _Brian_ " were whispered in his ears. The pace stayed steady, slow and deep and aimed just perfectly to give Brian as much pleasure as Justin could manage. And Brian's groans and whimpers and sighs shot down Justin's spine and increased the heat in his belly.

 _God, sex is so perfect, so_ instinctive _with us_ , Justin couldn't help but think as he pumped his hips.  _It's practically effortless. It's not like this with anyone else. And I doubt it ever will be_.

When the tension was becoming unbearable, Justin increased the speed of his thrusts and reached around to jerk Brian off, trying to keep the rhythm of hand and hips the same.

"God, Jus, I'm  _close_ ," Brian whispered.

"Good," Justin fairly growled. "Come for me, Brian. Let go."

Brian gave a half-groan, half-whine as his muscles rhythmically clamped down on Justin's cock and his own dick coated Justin's hand in come. Justin followed Brian a half-dozen thrusts later, whispering Brian's name.

They rested for a while, Justin's hands stroking Brian's back. Continuing with the role reversal, Justin went to the bathroom to clean himself up and came back with a damp washcloth. Once he'd tended to Brian, he cuddled up to him again, their arms wrapped around each other.

"Thank you," Justin whispered to Brian.

He smirked. "Thank  _you_. That was incredible."

Justin was smug. "I know."

"Twat," Brian accused affectionately.

"I love you too, Brian."

* * *

Before long, Brian was asleep again. Justin had a feeling that he'd stayed up most of the night, watching over Justin. The thought made him smile as he dozed off, too.

Not long later, Brian's cell phone rang. It turned out to be Michael, who informed Brian that Horvath had arranged things so that there'd be no record of Michael's arrest. And they had apparently come to some kind of mutual understanding, which Brian was grateful for. Deb deserved to find some happiness for herself.

Justin quickly reached for the loft phone when it rang while Brian was still speaking to Michael. Keeping his voice low so as not to disturb the other conversation going on, he said, "Hello.... Em? What.... Oh, honey, I'm so sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally made up the street name where Sap lives, just an FYI.
> 
> *In case you aren't aware, in the US, if you hit *67 before calling a number, it blocks the receiver's caller ID.


	23. S2 E15: Justin and Michael, Brian and Justin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter: Michael and Justin bond significantly during their work on Rage. Michael starts to pull his head out of his ass. Justin manages his time better, meaning Brian doesn't take things so badly.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is E.

The next Monday morning at the diner, Michael called the guys' attention to Sapperstein's name in the paper. "Apparently, one of his parties got busted. He's out on bail, but he's been charged with a few counts of possession... and accessory to rape! Holy shit!"

Ted looked sharply at Brian, who had his hand in Justin's hair. Brian shook his head at Ted, silently asking him not to mention where Justin had been. Ted raised a concerned eyebrow and looked questioningly at Justin. Brian smiled sadly and shook his head, which set Teddy at ease. Wanting to change the subject, Ted asked Michael, "Is there anything in there about George's funeral? I want to go with Emmett, for moral support."

* * *

The next Friday, when the guys were making their weekend plans, Brian suggested going to Pistol instead of Babylon. "Just need a change of scene," he answered with a shrug when Michael asked him why. The gang accepted the change in plans, though only Ted knew the real reason Brian didn't want to go back there just yet.

Even with the new venue, Justin was still slightly uncomfortable at the club. To distract himself, he started drawing a caricature of one of Pistol's dancers. Michael saw what he was doing and told him it looked like a comic book superhero. "All he needs is a mask and an insignia!" Michael was pretty high, so he was far more energetic about it, but Justin was happy that Michael seemed to be enjoying spending time with him, for a change.

Justin was surprised when Michael accosted him at the diner the next morning, begging Justin to agree to make a comic with him. After a few minutes' consideration, Justin decided that it was a good idea for several reasons. It would be a chance to expand his artistic talents, there was a chance he'd make a little money off of it (though he wasn't expecting that it would do too much more than pay for its own production), and he and Michael would have a chance to get to know one another as individuals, rather than as Brian's _what-have-you_ s.

* * *

Once Michael and Justin had decided on using Brian for a model for their comic book super hero, the ideas started flowing. They spent nearly all day Sunday creating the setting and writing Rage's backstory.

That evening, after Michael put up the closed sign, they started talking about storylines.

"We can't just use the same old stuff you see in straight comics," Michael was saying, nodding at Justin's suggestions for a different image for Rage than the usual superhero. "Our guy's gay, he lives in a gay world."

"He has gay sex," Justin added, smirking. " _Explicit_ gay sex. I want those scenes to be a central part of the comic."

Michael nodded. "You're right. The point is to have a gay superhero. Being a sex god is definitely a part of that."

Laughing, Justin said, "Absolutely! And anyway, that's what a lot of homophobes take the most issue with: the fact that men have sex with men and women have sex with women. As if it's all that much different than straight sex. We can't combat homophobia without talking about homophobic misconceptions and explaining to people why they're wrong."

"That's what Brian said," Michael said softly, sitting down on the floor near Justin. "That prejudice comes from ignorance."

"He's right. People get exposed to something they haven't come into contact with before, something they don't have experience with, and they start imagining things to fill their knowledge gaps. Next thing you know, all gay men are pedophiles and two people of the same sex couldn't possibly raise a child together properly."

With a slow nod, Michael said, "I never thought of it that way."

They were quiet for a moment. Eventually, getting back to the matter at hand, Justin asked, "So what kind of fuck-up should Rage fix in the first issue?"

Michael said haltingly, "I had an idea for a story, but... never mind, it's not a good idea."

"Tell me, even if you think it's stupid," Justin encouraged. "Even if the idea sucks, saying it out loud could lead to a better idea."

"Well... I was thinking that... Rage could save this kid's life." He pause a moment. "After he's bashed." When Justin just looked down and didn't say anything, Michael said, "Forget it. I knew it was a dumb idea. I never should've brought it up."

"No," Justin said softly, "I think it's a great idea."

"It's... awfully personal," Michael said carefully.

"The best art usually is. Besides, I want to talk about it. I  _need_ to talk about it. With the appeal and everything.... I want to go into that courtroom and be over the anger. Or at least be able to rein it in. I don't think I'll ever be totally past it, but I'll never even get close if I can't work through it, vent my feelings about it. Art is my medium for that." Justin smiled at Michael. "Actually telling the story along with the art can only help."

Michael was glad to know he hadn't messed up. He and Justin hadn't really been friends before, but with everything the family had gone through in the last year and a half, since Brian and Justin had first met, it was obvious that the young man was there to stay. Brian's feelings for Justin were becoming more obvious, too. Michael was even starting to  _like_ Justin. They hadn't had a lot of occasions to talk, just the two of them, but when they did, Michael found Justin to be smart, determined, and enthusiastic. Michael was still jealous of his relationship with Brian, but the kid was actually becoming a friend.

Justin pulled Michael out of his thoughts. " _And_ , that story can be how Rage meets the love of his life."

Smiling teasingly, Michael asked, "I thought Rage didn't believe in love."

"We'll let him think that." Justin's sunshine smile lit up his face. The pair of them chuckled at that.

Justin looked up to the clock above the counter. "Shit! I've got to go, Michael. We'll have to continue this tomorrow."

Michael looked up. "Yeah, wow, how'd it get to be two o'clock already?"

"It happens when I paint, too," Justin said, smiling. "I'm glad I checked, I have a curfew to keep!"

* * *

Justin walked into the loft forty minutes later to see Brian already in bed.

On  _Justin's_ side of the bed. _  
_

Smirking, Justin thought to himself,  _He missed me. He'd never say so out loud, but he missed me!_

"You're up," he said cheerfully as he headed to the bedroom.

"Look again," Brian said, his voice deep. He had slept for a short while already, and his voice was obviously still resting. He checked the time. "It's a quarter to three. He that good?"

Justin's nose scrunched up in distaste. " _Ewww_ , no! I was with Michael!"

"All fucking night?" Brian asked, his voice flat.

Shrugging out of his shirt, Justin said, "Felt like five minutes. Michael had a lot of good suggestions, and what he said sparked ideas of my own. Sometimes it felt like we were sharing the same brain."

Brian smirked. "What, you get it Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and he gets it Tuesday and Thursday?"

Justin tried for an unimpressed look, but a smile broke through. "Ha. Ha." Then he yelped as Brian pulled him down onto the bed.

"I hope he's got it right now, 'cause I'm about to blow your mind."

Shocked blue eyes caught hazel ones just before Justin broke out into giggles. "You did  _not_ just say that! God, Brian, that was so cheesy!"

Brian hadn't needed Justin to point that out; he was well aware.  _Moving on now_. "What's that?" he asked, pointing to a stack of comic books Justin had placed on the end of the bed.

"Research. Michael wants me to study the illustrations, learn the structure of comics, that sort of thing." He reached out and grabbed the one on top, but Brian took it from him, moving both it and the rest of the stack to the floor on his (or rather, Justin's) side of the bed.

"It can wait." He leaned in to give Justin a tender kiss. "This can't."

Several more tender kisses were placed on Justin's lips. The blond smiled and was just pulling Brian into a deeper kiss when the phone rang. Brian's face showed his confusion and annoyance as he picked up the phone and barked, "What?"

Michael's voice said excitedly, "Put Justin on, quick!"

Brian sighed. "It's fucking three a.m."

"Creativity doesn't punch a time-clock!"

"Oh my god," Brian said sarcastically, rolling his eyes, "that is  _so profound_. Will you hold on a minute while I write that down?" He handed Justin the phone and laid back against the pillows.

Justin, confused, held the phone to his ear and said, "Michael, what the hell?"

"I just got this idea, and it couldn't wait!"

"Well tell me quickly."

But Michael didn't get the chance. Brian took the phone back, sing-songed, "Nighty-night, Mikey!" and hung up on him.

Justin huffed. "Brian, that was important."

"So Michael can write it down and tell you about it tomorrow," he answered with a shrug. "Besides." He gave Justin a playful smirk. "It's not as important as this."

Brian moved in again, intent on doing as he'd promised and blowing Justin's mind. After a few more kisses, he turned Justin over onto his stomach and moved downward, intending to rim Justin to orgasm before sliding inside him.

Unfortunately for Brian, Justin started snoring before the brunet could even remove his underwear.

With a disappointed sigh, Brian fell back and ran a hand over his face. He hated this comic book already, and it had only been two days.

Eventually, he turned to curl himself around Justin and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

On Wednesday, Brian went to visit the munchers' house after work. He planned to spend time with his son while Melanie and Lindsey got started on their attic renovation.

The eighteen-month-old very obviously didn't like the noise his mothers were making. He was fussy most of the afternoon, especially when Brian set him down on the floor by himself. Brian therefore spent most of his time with Gus on his lap, dutifully taking the toys Gus handed over to him, allowing his arms and legs to be used as roads for cars and trucks, and reaching for things that Gus pointed to or asked for with his still very limited vocabulary.

Brian was surprised how much he enjoyed it. He'd never been around children this small before and would have thought that he'd be bored to death, but after a busy day, it was nice to just sit and relax. He didn't have to think. Gus didn't require being entertained. The boy just didn't want to be left alone.

His father perfectly understood the feeling.

In the end, Brian stayed long enough to be the one to put Gus to bed. He'd planned to leave as soon as Mel and Lindsey had finished upstairs and were ready to feed him, but he'd enjoyed the time with his son so much that he was reluctant to leave.

* * *

Brian stopped only long enough to grab Mexican take-out for his and Justin's dinner before heading home.

The sight of his loft covered in comic book art shocked him into momentary stillness.

"Do you think Zephyr could be a little taller?" Michael was asking when Brian's brain kicked back in. "And have bigger pecs?"

Justin looked up to ask Michael about his suggestion, but he spotted Brian by the door. "Hey! You're home! How's Gus?"

Unable to suppress a smile at the mention of his son, Brian said, "Cranky as shit." He plopped the bag of take-out on the island in the kitchen before heading toward the desk. "His mommies' power tools are driving him nuts."

Both Justin and Michael chuckled at that. Justin gave Brian a kiss before turning back to Michael. "So, what d'you want him taller for?"

"Well, he  _is_ Rage's best friend," he answered with a sly smile. "He should look almost as good."

"You got it,  _Zeph_ ," Justin chuckled.

Brian looked up from the comic page he was studying to give Michael an eyebrow raise. "You put  _yourself_ in the comic, Mikey?" He smirked. "You are  _so_ —"

"Pathetic, yes. But it's not just me, we're all in it."

"Fuck, does that mean me, too?"

With a sunshine smile, Justin popped up from his seat and snagged a print-out, which he handed to Brian. "Meet Rage: cold-hearted advertising executive by day, Defender of Queers by night. The beloved superhero of Gayopolis."

Brian snorted. " _Gayopolis_?"

"It's a comic book, Bri," Michael complained good-naturedly, "it's supposed to be exaggeratedly representative."

"Those are big words, Mikey. The professor must be rubbing off on you in more ways than one."

Michael stuck his tongue out at him. "Ass."

Brian's gaze moved back to the close-up of Rage. It was obviously a caricature of him. He felt... odd, looking at that representation of himself. He didn't  _dislike_ it, but... something about it rubbed him the wrong way. He couldn't have put the feeling in words even if he'd wanted to, though, so he shoved it down. Eventually, he handed the page back to Justin, tongue in his cheek as he said, "Build up my chin more. I'm a superhero, for Christ's sake!"

With a sunshiny smile, Justin kissed his boyfriend. "Yes, sir!"

"And speaking of pecs," Brian went on, "it's  _Chests of Death_ night at Babylon." He gave Justin a questioning look.

Justin was still considering whether he was ready to go back there when Michael asked, "So?"

"So why don't you two get ready to go?"

Deciding that he could handle it, Justin said, "We wanna finish this first, before the creative juices stop flowing."

Brian leaned down by Justin's ear. "I'd bet I can keep your juices flowing just fine." Justin laughed. "And anyway, what was it you told me, Sunshine? Dancing releases endorphins, allowing you to work harder and longer?"

Justin smirked. "You know perfectly well I was bullshitting you. You go on. If we finish at a decent hour, we'll meet you there."

"Just remember," Brian teased, his voice not quite as light as he wished it would be, "all work and no dick make Mikey and Sunshine dull boys."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, let's try this again. It's a year later than I originally planned, but this fic WILL be finished, I swear.
> 
> As far as this episode goes, I never understood why Brian heard Michael mention giving Zephr bigger pecs but didn't catch that Justin then called Michael "Zeph." Shouldn't Brian have caught on to that? He'd never pass up an opportunity to tease Mikey about being "pathetic."


	24. S2 E15: Brian, Justin, Michael, and Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is, for once, a bit of a dick. Brian reminds Justin and Michael of why they named Rage as they did. And Justin tries to understand what, exactly, Brian is upset over.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

Ben approached Brian on the catwalk at Babylon. He felt such an urge to make Brian feel as insecure as he had when Michael had found out that he and Brian had had sex. Before he could stop himself, he was describing the sexual nature of creative endeavors—which, of course, Brian was familiar with in his line of work, so the idea was nothing new. Ben could hardly believe himself when he heard his voice say, "What they're sharing is the most intense form of intimacy there is. Nothing, not even the hottest fuck in the world can come close. So let's have another drink... while our boyfriends are cheating on us."

Brian, uninterested in spending any more time  _chatting_ that night, grabbed the first man that caught his eye and dragged him to the back room.

He made two more consecutive trips there, stopping in between only to take a few shots of Jim Beam, before drunkenly making his way home. Ben, who had been watching and now felt awful for everything he had said, made sure that Brian got into a cab safely before heading home himself.

* * *

"Rise and shine, Sunshine!" Brian slurred lightly at the top of his lungs. He slammed the loft door behind him. Over on the sofa, Michael started awake, sitting bolt upright.

"Wha'?"

Brian walked around to the front of the couch to see Justin, who was sitting on the floor, raise his head from where it had been resting...  _against Michael's hip_.

With a mirthless laugh, Brian said, "Fuck. Ben was actually fucking right. What the hell do you two think you're doing?!"

Justin rubbed his eyes. "Mm," he sighed, "must've fallen asleep. Fuck, my neck is killing me."

"Ow!"

Quickly, Justin turned his head to see Brian hauling Michael off the sofa. "Go the fuck home to your own boyfriend, Michael."

"The hell, Brian?!"

"You two've been doing enough cheating for one night, now  _go. Home_." He unceremoniously shoved Michael out the door and slammed it shut behind him.

Warily, Justin approached Brian. He was still groggy, but he'd heard everything Brian had just shouted at his best friend, and he was completely confused. "...Brian? What happened? Why are you so upset?"

Without looking at Justin, Brian walked up to the bedroom, kicking papers out of his way, swearing under his breath. "Fucking Ben.  _Not even the world's hottest fuck is as good as creating something with another person_. Fucking new-age bullshit talk, that's what that is! Why I even listened to his shit...."

Justin considered those words for a minute, trying to sort out what had Brian acting like an idiot and a world-class jerk. When he put Brian's mutterings together with his ill treatment of Justin and Michael's work, which was still strewn about the loft, he thought he had a basic grasp of the issue. Stripping down to his briefs, he moved toward the bed. Once he was settled next to his inebriated boyfriend, he reached out for Brian's shoulder, turning the brunet to face him.

"Brian, what did Ben say to you tonight?"

He huffed a bit before responding. "He said that there's no greater  _intimacy_ "—he sneered the word—"than the act of creation. That it's better than any sex that could ever be had. And that we should get used to the idea that our 'boyfriends' were cheating on us with each other."

Justin sat up, surprised. "Ben? Ben Bruckner said that? What the fuck?"

Brian shrugged. He was still avoiding Justin's eyes. "'S true. He was just being honest."

"Brian," Justin protested softly, "not only is what Ben said complete bullshit, but I'm also absolutely certain that he didn't believe it either."

An eyebrow shot up Brian's forehead as he finally looked Justin in the eye. "What makes you so sure?"

Justin cuddled up to Brian's side. "For one thing, if he thinks that creativity is more pleasurable than the hottest sex, then he's clearly been doing sex  _wrong_."

Brian chuckled at that, which Justin was pleased to see. He went on, "And for another, it wouldn't surprise me if Ben was trying to make you as jealous as he probably feels sometimes, considering how Michael feels about you."

It was quiet while Brian digested that. Eventually, he said slowly, "I guess it was naïve to think that just because Ben manages to be totally zen about basically everything, that he never felt jealous that his own boyfriend was in love with someone else."

"Just a little," Justin teased gently.

"Hmm." Brian pulled Justin in closer. They were both quiet for a while, lost in their own thoughts.

"Brian?" Justin's voice was tentative.

"Yeah, Sunshine?"

"Were  _you_ jealous? I mean,  _honestly_ jealous of the time Michael and I have been spending together?"

A heavy sigh was all that Justin got in answer for a while. Eventually, Brian quietly admitted, "Maybe a little bit. Mostly, I get it. The both of us are the type to put everything into a new project for a while, to lose ourselves in our work. I would have gotten over that."

Justin sat up to search Brian's face for a moment. "What wouldn't you have gotten over?" When all Brian gave in answer was a tiny shrug, Justin prompted, "You know you can tell me."

"I'm not sure I understand it myself," he answered with a shake of his head.

"Well, do the best you can to explain, then."

"I guess... it feels... I don't know. But knowing that your comic book hero is based on me... something about that is uncomfortable. I can't put my finger on it."

Justin's face fell into a confused frown. Tentatively, he asked, "Do you... want us to change it?"

"I...." Brian paused for a moment, and then whispered, "I don't know."

Without any more words, Brian pulled Justin back down to the bed. It was some time before they both managed to fall asleep.

* * *

The next morning at the diner, Michael came storming up to Brian at the counter. "What the fucking hell  _was_ that last night, Brian? Why the fuck did you toss me out like that?"

Not knowing what to say, Brian just sat, letting Michael verbally assault him. Justin quietly went about his work, not looking at the two of them. He wasn't  _mad_ , exactly, but he was extremely hurt that Brian wasn't supportive of his and Michael's endeavor. And he was definitely upset that Brian had, in his drunken rage and confusion, destroyed a significant number of pages that Michael and Justin had printed out the day before.

Justin wasn't sure what to think, but he did know that something had to be done about all this. And soon.

Brian left shortly after Michael stormed out, leaving behind more than enough cash for his coffee. Justin sighed as he bussed away the cup and rang up Brian's bill, handing the change to Debbie as her tip.

She studied Justin for a moment before pulling him with her into the kitchen. "What the fuck is wrong this time?" she asked gently.

With a sigh, Justin explained Brian's conversation with Ben the night before and his strange aversion to this new project he was embarking on with Michael. "I just wish I knew what was upsetting him, besides being jealous. I'm usually pretty good at figuring out his moods, but I'm completely stumped this time."

Deb thought for a moment. "I can't tell you what's bothering him, honey, but I _can_ tell you that if he said he doesn't get it, he probably was telling the truth. If he just wanted to keep it from you, he never would have said anything at all."

Justin conceded that. "So what do I do? He has a right to tell us he doesn't want us using him in the comic book, but I honestly don't think I'd be half so motivated if we had to change that."

"Give him time, honey. If he figures it out, I'm sure you'll be the first to know.

* * *

That evening, Michael and Justin headed back to the loft together, intending to inventory which pages were undamaged and begin the process of re-printing whatever needed to be replaced.

But when they walked into the loft, it was to see Brian moving from the printer to a line of hanging comic pages. "Hey, boys," he said quietly. Justin could tell he was trying not to sound as hesitant as he felt. Wanting to reassure him, Justin went straight to him, hugging him close and giving him a firm kiss.

"Hey. You fixed it."

"Yeah, I did." He held up a page. "I read your shit. It's... fucking good. And the artwork is...  _art_ ." Brian paused for a moment. "But, that's to be expected," he added softly with a small smile for Justin, who gave him a hopeful look in return.

When neither Sunshine nor Mikey said anything, Brian sighed. "I'm sorry."

Michael pouted. "That's not good enough."

"What the fuck do you want me to do?  _Grovel_?" Brian closed his eyes. "No, I'm sorry, Michael. You have a right to be upset. I shouldn't have tossed you out like that."

"Damn right," he muttered petulantly, but Brian could see his anger was draining away.

"What I did... was immature. Childish. Vindictive. It was an act of cruelty, based on irrational fears and unfounded... jealousy." Brian darted his eyes over to Justin, but he didn't elaborate on what had been upsetting him. He turned immediately back to Michael.

Michael shrugged. "That's a start, at least," he grumbled, fighting a smile.

Wanting to get on with things, Brian said, "Here's the deal. Finish your work, and when you're done, I'll put together a marketing campaign that'll make every fag on the internet wanna buy it." Both Justin and Michael lit up at that. With a teasing smile, Brian added, "That is, if... you want me to."

Michael looked at Justin for a moment, and then turned back to Brian. "Deal."

* * *

When Michael had gone for the evening, Brian pulled Justin onto the couch and into their Serious Discussion position. "So, I think I figured out what was bothering me about the whole Rage thing."

Justin cuddled back into Brian's chest and simply waited. Brian would tell him when he was ready. In the meantime, Justin played with Brian's hands, just enjoying sitting together.

After a few minutes of silence, Brian admitted softly, "I'm not a fucking super hero, Justin."

It took all of Justin's will power not to turn around and look Brian in the eye. Instead, he clasped Brian's hands firmly with his own. He knew now what Brian was thinking: that he was a constant fuck-up, that no one in their right mind would depend on him, that he was the last person anyone should be looking up to. It was all bullshit, but saying that to Brian wouldn't make the man believe it. He had to find a different way to approach the problem.

"I think you misunderstood my reasoning for using you as the inspiration for our comic book hero, Brian."

Surprised, Brian mulled that over for a while. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Justin admitted, "I think Michael does see you that way: someone apart from the world, too special to follow everyone else's rules, someone with super powers who is always there to save the day. But I'm not Michael, and while that might be a surface interpretation of Rage—or of any superhero, really—that's not what these stories are about.

"Superheroes are people who have higher expectations of themselves than they do for the rest of the world," Justin explained gently. "They see themselves as somehow more responsible. If something goes wrong for somebody, even if they had no hand in creating the situation, they feel guilty for the outcome. They take it upon themselves to fix things for other people, and they get angry with themselves if they fail. Sometimes they even get angry with themselves if they're successful, because they think they should have somehow done better.

"That's  _you_ , Brian," Justin said softly. "You care  _so much_ for other people. You've made it your job to fix things. Even when something isn't your responsibility, you are the one who goes out and risks his own time, money, and fucking emotional well-being in order to set it right. You're the compassionate person who doesn't feel comfortable talking about how much they care about people, so you go out and do everything in your power to show it, instead. And at the end of the day, you still go home hoping that no one tries to thank you for it, because you've been trained to see what you do as an obligation, rather than an act of kindness."

Justin turned his head just enough to kiss the skin over Brian's collar bone. "You're a superhero because you do all you do in disguise, and you hide your secret identity from the world in order to protect that part of you. And I guess I want to tell the world about how special every part of you is, even if nobody actually hears what I'm trying to say."

Shortly after that, Brian tugged Justin up, pulling the blond after him toward the bed. When they were snuggled in for the night, Justin rolled over to give Brian a goodnight kiss.

He noticed the tear tracks on Brian's cheeks, but said nothing about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate the way this episode was handled, with a passion. Brian, Justin, Michael, and Debbie all act completely out of character and/or just plain ridiculous at one moment or another, with no explanations as to why, and it leads right into a bunch of plot-lines that completely come out of left field. (Brian, though he's involved in the conversation, doesn't pick up on the fact that Michael is Zephyr; having heard that, there's no way he'd miss the fact that he is Rage. Justin leaps from "Brian's mad about the comic and is mad at Michael and me" to "Brian doesn't love me" in the next couple episodes, which is melodramatic in the extreme, not to mention stupid. [It's also what starts the downward spiral into the Ethan fiasco that (IMO) comes out of nowhere.] Michael ends up in Brian's bed with Justin somehow???? And Debbie says the thing about Mothers of the Year not kicking assholes when they're down, but that is _exactly_ her MO, so why she won't do it now is a complete mystery.)
> 
> Because this episode is, in my opinion, so awful, this was the hardest one for me to fix. Not to mention that I'm a little nervous about the ending scene between Brian and Justin. I always felt like Justin's motivations for seeing Brian as his hero were vastly different that the reason Michael looked at him that way, but they never broached the topic in the show. Another great failing, I always thought. I hope that, in the last chapter as well as this one, I straightened the characters out to your satisfaction.


	25. S2 E16: Justin and Michael/Ben/Brian/Ted/Emmett/Melanie/Lindsey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin and Ben's birthdays, which happen to be on the same day, are approaching, and plans are being made and remade. Mel gets news about the appeal. And Brian is the one demonstrating his insight into his partner this time.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

Justin started packing up the draft pages he'd brought over to show Michael. As Ben came out of the kitchen, Michael offered, "You wanna stay for dinner? Ben's making pad thai."

"Then," Ben added, "we are gonna watch  _Sunset Boulevard_."

With a smile, Justin said, "Thanks, but I can't. I've got a shit-ton of school work to finish. I want to get ahead in my classes so that I don't have to deal with any school work on my birthday weekend."

When Ben expressed his surprise, Michael and Justin informed him of what they'd just discovered—that he and Ben had the same birthday. Not long after, the three said their goodbyes, and Justin headed home.

* * *

At Woody's that night, Brian and Justin were playing two-on-two pool with Ted and Emmett.

"So, Baby," Emmett said slyly, "you've got a birthday coming up, haven't you?"

"That's right," said Ted, lining up a shot. "About to start your last year as a teenager. So what are the plans? A trip to Key West? Something with four wheels and a retractable hard top?"

Justin shook his head with a smile. "I just want to stay home this year. I'm going to work my ass off this week so I don't have to work or study this weekend and just enjoy myself. I haven't had time to just do nothing in too long."

Brian raised a surprised eyebrow, but he didn't say anything.

"But honey," Emmett protested, "don't you want to celebrate?"

"I will be celebrating," Justin assured him, a hand on Em's arm. "I'd just rather celebrate in comfy sweats on the couch"—he smirked over at Brian—"or naked on the kitchen table instead of out with the rest of the world."

Brian sidled up behind Justin, wrapping his arms around the blond's shoulders. "I think that can be arranged."

* * *

"He actually wasn't going to tell Debbie?" Mel asked, incredulous.

Brian sighed as he played on the floor with Gus and his toy cars. "He said he didn't think she'd come, even if he did invite her."

Lindsey cocked her head. "She's still struggling, because of Ben's HIV?"

"I can understand her worry," Justin said, watching Brian playing with his son. "If it was Gus in Michael's position... but there are hundreds of other ways that we're all in danger every day. Ben could outlive the rest of us, if we all get unlucky. She shouldn't let her concern keep her from getting to know the man her son's in love with."

The conversation turned to other, less upsetting topics. When they were sitting down to dinner, Brian asked, "So what prompted the dinner invite?"

"Actually," Mel said with a happy look, "I have some good news. I found out today that Justin's appeal has been assigned a court date. It's not until July, which is five months away, but we're on the docket."

"That's great, Mel!" Justin said, a sunshiny smile on his face. He dropped it in favor of an earnest look. "Thank you so much, Mel. You've done so much for me lately. I want you to know how much I appreciate it."

Mel smiled and held his hand for a moment. "It's my pleasure."

As the girls were clearing the table, Lindsey asked, "So what are your plans for your birthday, Justin?"

"Just a long, relaxing day at home. I've had so much going on lately, I just want to be lazy for a change."

"But... you're not going out to celebrate?" Lindsey looked reprovingly at Brian.

"Honestly," Justin assured the girls, "I  _want_ to just stay home. What with school, trying to pay for my tuition on my own, and now the comic book with Michael, I've been going pretty much non-stop since Christmas. A weekend with nothing to do and nowhere to go is just what the doctor ordered."

Mel gave a sad sigh. "Well, I guess that means our gift idea is no good, then."

Justin perked up at that. "What gift?"

Lindsey chuckled lightly. "Well, a friend of mine who teaches in the music department at your school got me four tickets to a violin recital. I thought we'd take you and Brian as your gift."

"You can leave me out of this, thanks," Brian said, rolling his eyes.

Justin gave the girls a cautious look. "I'm... not really into classical music."

"Maybe it's time you exposed yourself to a higher form of cultural expression than the  _thumpa thumpa_ of Babylon," Mel said lightly.

Feeling himself stiffen inwardly, Justin carefully said, "Just because it's a newer genre of music doesn't make it a 'lesser form of expression.' And I'm much more interested in classical art than classical music."

Brian cocked his head at Justin. "On the other hand," he said quietly, "it would be a chance to get some exposure to other departments at your school. There might be networking opportunities you'd be missing out on if you didn't go."

Not wanting to argue, Justin asked Lindsey, "When is the concert?"

"Saturday afternoon. It's only an hour long, so you'll still have plenty of time for your relaxing weekend at home."

He sighed. "All right."

* * *

After a rather athletic round of sex that night, Justin confronted Brian about the concert. "Why are you so set on me going with the girls this weekend?"

"Why are you so determined not to?"

Justin rolled onto Brian's chest, resting his chin on his hands. "Because I'm not really interested in going to a violin recital, and because I wanted to spend my birthday weekend home alone with you. The family has been stressing me out almost as much as everything else, lately. I just wanted to have some time away from them. And we already have to go to Ben's party Saturday night, or we'd never hear the end of it. It's just stupid." Justin poked Brian's side. "Your turn to answer."

Brian huffed. "You were so adamant at Woody's on Tuesday that you wanted to just stay in this weekend. It surprised me. But then I got to thinking about how much shit you've dealt with this semester, and it made a hell of a lot more sense. I know the family has been putting your nerves through the wringer. When Lindsey mentioned the concert, I thought it might be a good chance for you to make some friends outside of the family. It'd give you an excuse to get away from all the shit once in a while."

Justin's mouth dropped slightly in surprise. All he could think to say was, "Oh."

"Did I actually render you speechless? Mark the date on the calendar."

"Shut. Up," Justin demanded softly, rewarding Brian for his thoughtfulness with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the meat of this episode will be the next chapter. That part is extremely long, so I wanted to get the set-up out of the way first. Ch-ch-ch-changes from here on out, folks. Like, major ones.


	26. S2 E16: Justin and Ethan/the Girls/Brian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin meets Ethan at the PIFA recital and talks to first the girls and then Brian about his conversation with the guy.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

As the violinist played, Justin studied the familiar look of passion on his face and sketched him. He couldn't help but smile at the thought that Brian got that look when he and Justin were having sex. It was interesting to see it being directed at a pastime that could be enjoyed in public.

Well, not that Justin hadn't had public sex* on several occasions, but if you didn't want to be risk being arrested, anyway....

Justin turned his focus back to the performance. While he had been telling the truth that classical music wasn't really his thing, he could definitely tell that the violinist—Ethan Gold, according to the program—was very talented. Justin knew enough about music in general to know that the piece was very technically difficult, though Gold made it appear effortless.

With a smirk, Justin thought to himself that Gold must practice his violin as much as Brian practiced his fucking.

* * *

At the end of the performance, Justin debated for a moment whether to approach Gold. Brian's words about finding someone else to hang out with to get away from the family once in a while echoed through his head, and he made up his mind.

"I think we're witnessing a conversion," Lindsey said with a smile, bringing Justin's mind back to their conversation.

"Another lesbian success story," Mel offered in return.

Justin inwardly rolled his eyes. "It was beautiful music. It must take a lot of practice and dedication to get to that level." He smiled at the girls. "And I'm glad you brought me. I had fun. But that doesn't mean I'm interested in sitting around listening to classical music every day. It's nice for an occasional change of pace, but it's really not my style."

Mel hugged her arm around him for a moment as Linds went off to thank her friend for the tickets. With a sigh, Mel said, "I know. I was just teasing you. There's nothing wrong with listening to the type of music you enjoy. But it's definitely good to get exposure to other things, because you never know when something will turn out to be much better than you thought it'd be."

Justin gently untangled himself. "I'm going to go give my compliments to the violinist. I'll meet you guys in a minute."

"Sure, honey."

When Gold had finished speaking to another audience member, Justin stepped forward. "You were great," he offered with a smile. "I didn't think I'd enjoy it as much as I did."

"The Ravel was passable, but the Brahms was for shit."

Justin gave him a confused look.  _What the hell...?_ Out loud, Justin offered sincerely, "I didn't notice. Not that I'm all that familiar with classical music, but I thought it was great."

Without looking up at Justin, Gold continued, "Yeah, well, you should've noticed. It was all your fault."

"How the hell was it my fault?" Justin demanded, highly offended.

The violinist finally looked up. "The way you were staring at me was very distracting," he answered, his voice gratingly haughty. When Justin only raised his eyebrow in response, Gold conceded, "Although not necessarily in a bad way."

 _Oh, god_ , Justin thought.  _Is he_ actually _hitting on me?_ He decided to nip that idea in the bud. "The look on your face while you played really reminded me of the look my boyfriend gets sometimes. I just had to sketch it." Justin held up his program in explanation.

Gold ignored the comment and took the program to examine Justin's sketches. "It's me in five variations," he said, a smug look on his face.

Justin nodded. "Once I get started, I just can't stop."

"That's a sign of a true artist. I play in my sleep."

 _Funny how he brings everything I say back around to himself_ , Justin thought. Talking to this guy was already getting to be too much. Gold's tone of voice was _so_ _arrogant_. No way was Justin going to spend more time with him. He'd have to find school friends some other way.

"You go to school here, right?" he asked.

Justin raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I do. How did you know that?"  _Creepy_.

"Yeah," he drawled, "I thought I recognized you." Gold tilted his head. "If classical isn't usually  _your thing_ , what brings you here?"

"Some friends brought me here for my birthday," Justin admitted reluctantly.

Gold stepped a bit closer. "Not the boyfriend you mentioned?"

"No," Justin said, "we'd planned a weekend in, but my friends got me the tickets as a gift."

"That sucks."

"That... we planned a weekend in?" Justin asked. There was no way this conceited idiot thought it sucked that Justin had come to the recital.

"Well, that, too," Gold conceded, "but I meant it sucks that you have a boyfriend."

 _Is this guy for real?_ "Gee. Thanks," Justin deadpanned.

Gold actually looked shocked at Justin's response. Obviously, he'd expected that to go over differently. Justin was mildly surprised that the guy was capable of any other facial expressions besides pompous. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he offered, sounding apologetic. "I just meant that, if  _I_ was your boyfriend, I would make plans for your birthday that were more special than just staying in for the weekend."

Justin shook his head, his disbelief clearly visible on his face. "You don't know me, or anything about me. And you haven't even met my boyfriend. Staying in for a weekend and getting away from our family  _is_ special. It's what I wanted. My life has been one crazy, shitty thing after another for the last year. He's the only thing that's kept me sane." Justin gave Gold a stern look. "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested."

Mel and Lindsey walked up just as Justin was turning around to leave. Lindsey put her hand on Justin's arm and asked politely, "Justin, why don't you introduce us?"

Sighing internally, Justin did as requested. "Mel, Lindsey, this is Ethan Gold. Ethan, this is Melanie Marcus and Lindsey Peterson." He smirked a bit before adding, "Lindsey and Melanie are the mothers of my boyfriend's son."

Lindsey shot Justin a surprised look, and Mel rolled her eyes, though she was smiling. "Brian is having some father/son time while we're out."

Gold's face was completely shocked. After a moment, he regained his footing and held out his hand for the girls to shake. "It's nice to meet you both."

Lindsey and Gold chatted for a moment. Melanie could see how anxious Justin was to leave, so she gently extracted Lindsey from the conversation.

* * *

In the car on the way home, Melanie finally asked, "Was he making you uncomfortable, Justin?"

Lindsey, surprised again, asked, "Why do you ask that, Mel?"

"Because Justin was clearly itching to get out of the conversation, even before we walked over."

Justin sighed. "He might be a talented musician, but he's also an arrogant bastard. I swear, even his  _voice_ got on my nerves. I've never met anyone who's so full of himself."

Mel snorted. "Worse than Brian?"

" _Yes_ , worse than Brian!" Justin admonished, sitting forward. "Brian doesn't turn every line of every conversation back to himself. Brian doesn't think he's better than everybody else. He's very confident in his work and his physicality, yes, but not like Gold. Gold obviously thought himself superior to everyone in the room. And Brian doesn't blame his mistakes on other people."

Lindsey finally found her voice. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Justin said grudgingly, "I could have been taking it more seriously than he meant it. It might just have been a set-up for his laughable pick-up line. But he told me that it was my fault he messed up his second piece."

"How could you have done that?" Mel asked, sounding angry. "You were just sitting there!"

"I was  _staring at him_ , or so he claims. I was observing, so I could sketch him." He handed his program up to Lindsey, who was sitting in the passenger seat.

"Wow, honey," Lindsey said approvingly, "these are fantastic."

" _Thank you_ ," Justin sighed. "Instead of saying something about my art, Gold told me, ' _It's me in five variations._ '" Justin tried to imitate Gold's tone, but he was sure he didn't succeed. He knew he was being a little petulant, but  _really_. How difficult was it to be polite, even if he'd hated the drawings? And he obviously hadn't; he'd spent long enough looking at them.

Although Justin thought that might have been more about staring at himself than at a piece of art.

* * *

"You should have heard him, Brian," Justin ranted, lying on his back on the sofa as Brian popped in a movie. "God, what an idiot. Who thinks that telling someone it sucks that they have a boyfriend is a good pick-up line?"

Brian shot him a glare for the 'boyfriend' comment, but Justin ignored it. As much as Brian would like to deny it, that's exactly what they were. Justin wouldn't let Brian hide his head in the sand about it.  _He's a big boy_ , Justin thought laughingly,  _he can handle it_.

"Who thinks that violin recitals are a good place to pick up a hot fuck?" Brian retorted. "He's obviously delusional."

Giggling, Justin sat up. He shook his head. "I don't think a hot fuck was what he was looking for."

Arching an eyebrow, Brian dropped onto the sofa next to Justin. "You told me all about your conversation. It had all the ear-marks of trying to talk someone into dropping their pants."

Justin tilted his head in thought. "You think?"

Brian put his arm around Justin's shoulders and pulled him in close as he hit the "Play" button on the remote. "A hot guy gave him an ego boost, and it turned him on. You were at a classical music recital, so he probably expected you to be the type of guy that has to be romanced before you'll jump into bed together. He was trying to talk you into it. Speaking from experience," Brian added smugly, "it's quite a power trip when you convince a reluctant guy to let you fuck him. I don't blame him for trying"—he pawed at Justin for a moment, moving his mouth to the blond's ear and dropping his voice to a whisper—"because you're one hot little fucker."

Justin turned to reward Brian with a deep kiss.

For a while, they watched the movie quietly, though Justin kept coming back to thoughts of the conversation. Eventually, he said, "You know, I think you're right. I was angry before, but in his defense, it wasn't until the end of the conversation that I told him to back off." He turned to face Brian, smiling at him. "And where you were just highly confident, he was completely cocky. That would explain why I reacted differently to him than I did to you."

With a laugh, Brian leaned down. He placed a kiss on the back of Justin's neck, and they went back to watching the movie. They'd have just enough time to finish watching before they had to get ready for Ben's surprise party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I'm not counting the back room of Babylon. While that's definitely sex in front of other people, legally it isn't considered "public" because you have to have a membership card (or be brought as the guest of someone who does) in order to get into the club.
> 
> I've always felt like Brian was being an unnecessary asshole in this episode. He's generally moody and overly sarcastic, but in this episode it's like he's _trying_ to get Justin mad at him, and the show gives no explanation for it. Since I've been writing this, though, I've realized that it's actually not completely out of the blue: it's the Rage thing. Brian is now legitimately a hero, and he's afraid of fucking up. He'd rather fuck up on his own terms than on accident, so he's purposefully an asshole to Justin, trying to push him away. But because, in this story, Justin has told Brian that that's not what being Rage means to Justin, I don't think Brian would do the acting-out thing. (If you disagree with my assessment, I encourage you to rewatch this episode, and pay special attention to Brian's conversation with Michael after Ben's birthday party. It'll tell you all you need to know :)
> 
> I also have a problem with Justin's reactions to Ethan. Justin has too much common sense to fall for Ethan's ridiculously pathetic pick-up lines. He may be the type to want romance once in a while, but honestly, he and Ethan hadn't talked for more than five minutes total, and Ethan was already talking about how much better of a boyfriend he could be. It's stupid. I took the two separate conversations with Ethan from this episode and combined them together because, since Justin felt uncomfortable with Ethan this time around, he wouldn't go seeking Ethan out later.
> 
> And no way would Justin put up with Brian getting him a hustler for his birthday. Justin wouldn't just lie down and take it. (Really, really bad pun not intended, sorry.)
> 
> Justin's opinion in this chapter about Ethan's voice is actually my opinion. Even the first time I watched the show, I immediately thought he was a smarmy sleazeball.
> 
> And I've just realized that my notes are practically as long as the chapter. :/


	27. S2 E17: Brian and Justin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin suggests a weekend away, and Brian surprises him by suggesting a longer vacation. But disaster strikes, and the plans may have to change.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Make sure you read chapter 26, as both chapters are going up at the same time.**

"I'm gonna fuck you," Brian said in Justin's ear. "I'm gonna fuck you all night long."

Justin chuckled as his nearly-drunk partner pulled him in for a kiss. "Didn't you get enough? We made three trips to the backroom!"

Brian shot him a scandalized look. " _Never_ enough." He smirked as he pulled Justin's body against his own in the alley outside of Babylon. "I could fuck you every minute of every day, and it still wouldn't be enough."

Smiling and rolling his eyes, Justin teased, "Think you could go that long, old man?" He dodged away from Brian's grip, laughing.

"I'll get you back for that. Just wait."

"You know," Justin said conversationally, "my spring break is next week. Maybe we could go away for the weekend, just the two of us? Get away from everybody for a bit, since we didn't get to do that for my birthday."

Brian looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Have something in mind?"

"Yeah," Justin said enthusiastically. "Daphne and her boyfriend were in Vermont this past weekend, snowboarding. She said the place they stayed in was amazing. It's a bed-and-breakfast, which is a little kitschy for my taste, but every room had a fireplace and a Jacuzzi, and  _that_  sounds fantastic."

Scoffing, Brian said, "Mints on the pillows, forced socialization, all that shit?"

Justin shrugged. "So don't eat the mints. And since when do you do something just because someone else tells you to? We can skip out on the boring stuff." Justin smirked. "Maybe scandalize the other guests by fucking all over the room at all hours of the night."

Brian burst out laughing at that, pulling Justin into his side. "Oh, I've taught you well, young Padawan."

Giggling, Justin said, "I'm telling Michael you correctly used a Star Wars reference."

After a few more moments of horsing around, Brian spoke up. "You said for the weekend. What would you think of spending all of your spring break there?"

"...What?"

"I've got a ton of vacation days saved up," Brian explained, smiling at Justin's stunned look. "And I'm about to make partner. I can afford a week away."

"Brian, that's.... Yes! Yes, please!" He jumped into Brian's arms and kissed him deeply to express his appreciation.

* * *

"Fucking hell," Brian swore as he collapsed into his office chair. He couldn't believe that Ryder was selling the agency. Brian had been played. Ryder had been telling him for two years that he was going to make Brian a partner, when all along the man was just waiting for a lucrative offer on the agency. The fucker had never planned on actually making Brian partner; that was obvious now. The question was... what now?

The agency was sold; there was no stopping that. That meant that Brian's job was not as secure today as it had been even just last week. Could he afford the week off with Justin? Hell, would he be out of a job? He was the single most productive member of the executive team at the company, but Gardner Vance wouldn't have any loyalty to any of the employees here. There was a chance Brian would be out on his ass next week, anyway.

Brian thought for a moment, running a hand through his hair. Sighing, he picked up his cell phone. He wasn't going to get any work done today, that was for certain. He'd be too distracted by the changes at the office. Instead, he'd see if Sunshine wanted to get take-out for lunch and laze around the loft, making contingency plans in case he got fired this week.

* * *

"That complete fucking asshole," Justin fumed, pacing around the loft. "I mean, there was nothing in writing, but does he not consider verbal agreements binding?!"

"Apparently not," Brian huffed. "Ryder is a snake. He was never a good advertising exec, but he was always a cunning business man. That's why I'm so surprised by this move. I can't believe that he's willing to make as many enemies as he's made by selling off the company with no warning."

Justin plopped down on the sofa, turned to face Brian. "Is Vance going to keep the staff, do you think?"

Head in hands, Brian sighed. "I have no fucking idea. I've never even met the guy. His company is based in Chicago. I know he's successful, but I don't even know how much of the advertising he does and how much he passes off to his underlings.

"If it were me, though, I wouldn't be keeping everyone. Nobody at Ryder has any loyalty to Vance. And not everyone employed there is worth the money we pay them, either. If I were buying the company, I'd put everyone on a trial period. If they don't pass muster, or if their objections to the sale of the company interfered with their work, they'd be out. But Vance may not even wait to find out; he could very well just chuck us all."

Brian shook his head. "I was really looking forward to being able to choose my own accounts once I made partner. I'm sick of being strapped with whatever the boss decides to hand over to me."

Justin rubbed his hand up and down Brian's back, trying to soothe him. Tentatively, he asked, "At this point, what would it take to be your own boss?"

"What?" Brian asked as he looked up at Justin.

"I mean, if you wanted to choose your own accounts, hire the people you want working for you, and not have to put someone else's name on your work, what would it take?"

Brian sat in thought for a while. Was that feasible? Could he start his own agency? That kind of thing took a shit-ton of money, not to mention a lot of time. But he certainly had the motivation to get it done. Of course, if Brian couldn't convince his best accounts to follow him to a brand new agency, that would make starting up on his own an impossibility.

But maybe there was another option? Maybe he could do something to prove himself valuable enough that Vance would not only have to keep him, but also make him partner.

It was worth a shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wondered why Brian didn't consider the possibility that Vance might fire everyone at the office. When you buy a business, you're buying the _business_ , not the people that work there, and Brian would know that. So he's being a bit more proactive. And he's already thinking about setting out on his own, because that would be far preferable for someone like Brian.
> 
> I would have included this chapter and the next together, but there's a specific place that I want to end _April Showers_ , so I decided to divide them up.


	28. S2 E17: Brian and Justin and Cynthia, Brian and Vance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Cynthia start scheming, Vance gives Brian an ultimatum, and Justin rearranges their vacation plans.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

As it was only three in the afternoon, Brian immediately got on his cell with Cynthia. "Get your ass over here, we've got plans to make."

"Yes sir, bossman," Cynthia said, her smile evident in her voice.

When she arrived at the loft, all three of them started looking up everything they could find about Gardner Vance. Justin was looking through the ads that Vance's business in Chicago had been putting out over the last year, and Brian and Cynthia were on biographical research. After about two hours, Brian called them together to compare their findings.

"These graphics are for shit," Justin said, showing some of the print ads he'd found online. "They do good work for television commercials, but their visual art department seriously needs an overhaul."

Brian looked at what Justin was showing him. "Half of it is sub-par copy, too." He pulled up the pages he'd been pouring over and told Jus and Cynthia what he'd uncovered about Vance's history. "How'd you do? What'd you find?" he asked Cynthia.

"Ah, mostly the same as you," Cynthia offered, rifling through her own printouts, "plus a feature article they did on him in one of the Chicago papers. I circled an interesting quote."

"'When asked if there was an account he'd never been able to land, Vance said, "Yeah, Brown Athletics."' Fuck, Cyn. Well done."

She smirked. "Just remember how valuable I am to you."

Justin laughed. "Here, Brown Athletics. Huge Chicago-based company, maker of athletic equipment, owned by Mr. Leo Brown." Justin raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you'll be making a trip to Chicago."

Brian debated with himself for a moment. "Cynthia, book me a flight for Sunday evening. We'll spend the weekend making a kick-ass campaign." When she had gone off to Brian's desktop to do so, Brian pulled Justin into his lap. "I guess this means no Vermont. I'm sorry, Sunshine."

"I'm not going to lie and say I'm not disappointed," he said softly, "but I know this isn't your fault. You're not backing out on me." Justin thought for a moment. "What if we go with my original suggestion, and just do a weekend away? We can bump it back to the weekend at the _end_ of my break instead of at the beginning. We won't even have to make new reservations, just shorten our stay."

Brian nodded, sighing. "I'll probably be even more ready for a vacation after this."

"I'll take care of changing our flights out to Vermont and shortening our hotel and rental car reservations. You just focus on impressing the fuck out of Leo Brown."

* * *

"Ah," offered the man sitting ostentatiously at the head of an empty conference table. He rose and offered Brian his hand. "Gardner Vance."

"Brian Kinney."

"Sit." Brian made note of the tone that attempted to be both courteous and demanding at the same time; he couldn't help but think that it failed at both.

The room was quiet as Brian dropped his coat and briefcase and the two men sat down, several chairs between them.

Finally, Vance spoke. "Ryder tells me that  _you're_ the best account exec he's got."

His tone sounded a bit disbelieving, but Brian forced himself not to get his back up about it. Instead, he simply offered a confident, "He's right," in response, maintaining eye contact and keeping an honest expression on his face.

With a small smirk, Vance added, "Which is why I fired everyone else."

 _Nice ploy_ , Brian thought,  _trying to make me feel guilty for the rest of the workers here losing their jobs, as if keeping me on meant no one else could stay. Unluckily for you, asshat, I can see right through it._ To show Vance the tactic hadn't hit home, Brian drawled sarcastically, "I've always hated those long lines at the water cooler."

Visibly shifting gears, Vance sighed. "He also tells me that you are arrogant, willful, and um... insubordinate."

Brian gave a smirk at that. He didn't want to completely ruin his chances of keeping his job, but he had enough of a safety net in the works that it made him a little more bold. Instead of being cowed by the insinuations of his undesirability, he said proudly, "Taking the initiative is how I got to be the most successful adman in this agency. Over a third of the clients you know own contracts with came to this company because of me. Half of those accounts are here because I went out and scouted those clients on my own." Brian gave a split-second thought to whether or not it was a good idea to offer up this card so early, but he decided to take the plunge. "The reason I was still doing it for Ryder was because he'd been offering me a partnership, which he obviously never came through on. But I certainly didn't need him behind me to sign any of those accounts."

Vance raised an eyebrow and considered Brian for a minute. Eventually, he gave an acknowledging tilt of his head. "Alright then, here's how this is going to happen. If in the next week you can prove to me that you're worth keeping on, you get to keep your job. Depending on how...  _impressive_ you are, there might even be a raise in it for you." He stood up, obviously trying to appear dismissive.

Brian, however, stood at the same time, and offered his hand. "Until next Friday, then," he offered confidently.

"Until Friday," Vance agreed slowly, taking the proffered hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Justin would have to know how long Brian's been working toward making partner—they've been together for a year and a half now (depending on when you start counting)—so how could he possibly not know how devastating it would be for Brian that Ryder sold the company before fulfilling his promises of promoting Brian? That _never_ made sense at all to me. Justin might be young, but his father was a businessman who had hoped Justin would one day do the same thing, so I'm sure he knows quite a bit about the business world. He's not some clueless floozy.
> 
> Also, Brian is such a confident business man, but the scene where we first meet Vance, he's so insecure and timid! I get that he's worried for his job, but his is Brian Kinney, the man with the nearly-impenetrable mask; he totally would have faked it. I like the way this chapter turned out SO much better than the original scene. I hope you do, too! :)


	29. S2 E17: Brian and Vance, Brian and Justin and Cynthia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian returns from his trip to Chicago with a very interesting contract in hand.
> 
> Rating for this chapter is T.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you caught chapter 28 first!

The next Thursday morning, Brian strode into Vance's office and dropped a reimbursement request form on the man's desk. While Vance read, Brian dialed up Brown Athletics on the phone.

"Twelve hundred dollars for lunch?" he asked incredulously as the phone on the other end of the line rang. "What the hell were you doing in Chicago?"

"Say 'hello' to our latest client," Brian said, smirking. "Leo Brown."

Vance quickly reached out to pick up the receiver and had a short but promising-sounding conversation with the man. When they'd hung up, Vance gave Brian a stricken look. "He  _sends his regards_ ," he explained, obviously confused. "I've... I've been after him for  _years_. How, exactly, did you manage that?"

Brian simply raised an eyebrow in answer. When Vance gave him a stern look, he added, "Did my homework."

Vance studied him for a moment before reaching for his cigar box. "Well, I suppose this calls for a Cohiba."

"I'd say it calls for much more than that," Brian offered pointedly.

Then he handed over the contract.

"Brown signed a two-year contract based on... one contingency," Brian explained, doing his best to keep the triumphant look off of his face.

"And what's that?" Vance asked.

* * *

Cynthia cheered and, uncharacteristically, threw herself at Brian for a hug. "Congratulations, boss! You finally made partner!"

With a smirk, Brian dropped into the seat behind his desk. "And I convinced Leo to let me include a clause that says, should VanGard and I part ways before the completion of the contract, his company's business will follow me."

"That is fantastic, Brian. I'm so happy for you!" She smiled teasingly. "Should I make reservations for you and Justin tonight, to celebrate?"

After a moment's thought, Brian said, "Yes, but make the reservations for three. I want you in on it, too. We couldn't have done it alone, Cyn."

Looking rather emotional, Cynthia cleared her throat. "Sweet talk will get you everywhere, boss. I'll let you know when I've got us a reservation."

* * *

"Emmett got everyone the most amazing gifts," Justin was gushing. He listed what Em had bought for everyone else in the family first. "He paid for a trip for us to go to Italy, so I can see all the masters."

Cynthia smiled as she took a sip of wine. "That sounds wonderful, Justin."

Brian faked a pained expression. "He got me a trip for you? How rude."

" _No_ ," Justin said, rolling his eyes. "For you, he got something you can use in Milan." Justin handed over the card from Emmett.

Brian nearly choked. "The  _entire_ fucking Armani fall collection? Seriously?"

With a sad nod, Justin added, "I'd be even happier about all of this if George's ex-wife wasn't contesting the will. Poor Emmett. But the stuff he bought can't exactly be returned, so I don't know what will happen if she wins the law suit."

For a while, Justin and Cynthia chatted about the unfairness of how the final wishes of the elderly were so often disregarded. Brian pondered the situation quietly to himself for a while.

When Cyn got up to use the restroom, Justin scooted his chair closer to Brian and placed a hand on his arm. "Hey, stud. What's going on in that head of yours?"

Brian looked into Justin's eyes for a moment, considering. Finally, he said, "I'd like to pay for a lawyer for Emmett."

Brian was surprised to see that Justin  _wasn't_ surprised. He just smiled. "That's a great idea, Brian. I'm sure George would really appreciate that."

With a quiet sigh, Brian laid a quick kiss on Justin's temple. Justin scooted his chair back as Cynthia headed back to the table, but he kept his arm on Brian's leg through the rest of their meal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's just not fair what happens to Emmett after George's death. So here's my attempt to heal that wound a bit, too.
> 
> One more chapter, and then this first one is DONE! I'm so excited, guys!


	30. Interlude: Brian and Justin and Vermont

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys finally get their mini-vacation!
> 
> Rating for this chapter is E.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you caught chapters 28 and 29 first!

"I knew you could do it," Justin offered quietly. They were lying on a fur rug—or, at least, it looked like fur, but Justin was pretty certain it was artificial, thank god—in front of a roaring fire. Justin admired the way Brian's sweating skin gleamed in the firelight. They'd only been in the room an hour and had already gone three rounds. Smiling, Justin looked up at Brian's face. "You're fucking fantastic, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Brian offered with a smirk, grabbing Justin's arms when he made to swat at Brian in mock irritation. After a moment of playful struggling, they subsided, and Brian's smile slipped away. "Fuck, I was so worried, Sunshine."

For a minute, Brian marveled that he could say that so easily now. A year ago, he would only have been able to say such a thing to Michael after a night of drinking, drugging, and tricking himself out of his fucking mind. But here, away from the family and his job and any other fucking people, with only Sunshine to see and hear him, he could say it. No sarcasm, no facetious smirk. Total honesty.

It scared him more than a little bit. But it was, oddly, a good kind of scary.

Justin propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at Brian. "I know you were. But you're the most fucking talented adman there is, and you've got enough confidence in your work to fill Heinz Field." Justin dropped a quick kiss on Brian's nose. "Honestly, if you'd decided just to go for starting your own agency, I think you still could have done it."

A grateful smile flashed across Brian's lips, but he shook his head. "That's the eventual goal, obviously. But I need to lay some groundwork first, including convincing around a dozen high-paying clients to move with me to a new agency. Thank fuck I don't have a 'No Competition' clause in my contract." Brian looked at Justin. "And I'll need at least a few employees willing to follow me, too, or other potential employees lined up. Specifically an art department."

It took a moment for what Brian meant to sink in. When it did, Justin's eyes widened. "But, Brian...! I'm only in my freshman year!"

"Well, it's not like I'm planning this for next week, Sunshine," Brian offered with a roll of his eyes. "It'll probably be a few years from now."

"But... but..." Justin spluttered a bit, sitting up. "I'm a painter, though!"

Brian sat up, too. "And a sketch artist, and a graphic artist, and a graphic novel illustrator," Brian pointed out. "And you could tell just by looking at VanGard's stuff from the last few years that they need an art department overhaul. You've got the talent, Justin. I'd be an idiot not to scout it, even this long before you graduate. And anyway, you don't have to accept. I just want you to know that the offer is there, if and when you want to take it."

Justin could tell that Brian was serious. He could also see him starting to close up in order to hide his insecurity over the job offer.  _He's really afraid that I'll turn him down_ , Justin realized.

Instead of answering verbally, Justin tackled Brian back to the floor, his hands closing around Brian's wrists, Justin's knees bracketing the man's waist. When Justin was sure he had Brian's attention, he attacked the brunet's mouth with his own, the kiss fierce and claiming. When he thought he'd made his point, he pulled back and said raggedly, "I don't know what I'll want to do once I have my degree. But the offer is very generous, and it will be given due consideration. I've no idea when I would be starting the job, Mr. Kinney, but I'd love to work under you." He cocked his head to the side for a moment and considered his previous words. "Or over you, as the case may be."

Brian tried not to laugh, he really did, but he just couldn't hold it in. Justin joined in with his own giggles a moment later. But before long, the movement of their bodies as they laughed did interesting things to how they pressed together, and their laughter subsided into breathless sighs and groans, instead.

Soon, Brian was sitting up, Justin in his lap, their lips pressed together softly. Justin placed his hands on Brian's shoulders and lifted himself up. With one hand on the blond's hip and one guiding himself, Brian helped Justin lower his body down around Brian's cock. As they joined, Brian gave a relieved sigh, and Justin whimpered at the pleasurable stretch. They rocked together, lips touching every bit of each other's skin that they could reach, compliments and moans and encouragements falling from their lips. When Brian reached for Justin's cock, Justin swatted him away.

"Just like this," he insisted breathlessly. The friction provided by their bellies as they moved was enough stimulation on his cock, and Justin preferred to come just from penetration whenever he could manage it. Brian always felt wonderful inside him, but the angle and depth and stretch of this position was absolutely what Justin needed in that moment. Before long, Justin was crying out Brian's name, the last little bit of come still in his body dribbling out of his cock. Brian groaned at the constriction of Justin's body around his dick, and soon he was finishing as well.

As they lay together again on the floor, Justin thought about how far they'd come since they'd met. Things weren't perfect—life couldn't be, he knew—but it was the perfect kind of imperfection for the two of them.

(He hoped he wasn't jinxing things by wishing that it would last.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh... my god... it's done? It's DONE! Woo hoo! Next up, _May Flowers_. You will (hopefully) have the full thing by the last day of May. It'll probably be a few days of mass posting. I would have spread it out, done it a week's worth at a time throughout the month, but with the weather finally becoming spring-like here, I've had so much other stuff to get done. But now that's all in order, and the next installment will be with you shortly! Thank you so much for following me on this adventure, guys. XD


End file.
